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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: The end of my rope
steppingup
Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

I just don't think I can take it any longer, the reality is, she betrayed me over and over and she is not remorseful at all, only talking about getting over her guilt and shame and really not taking any responsibility for the pain that I have endured multiple times. I just have come to the end of my rope...I have to leave this joke of a marriage in hopes of something better to come. Even last night when asked she said, she is capable of another affair if she does not get what she wants from the marriage..she has learned nothing, absolute child mascarading as a woman.


Her (WW 40s) Me (BH, 40s) very young DS & DD

“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40

"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup


Posts: 518 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
GotPlayed
Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

(((steppingup)))

Sorry to hear that, man.

I know it''s small consolation at this time, but at least you know where she stands. At least you won''t be one of those who get lied to for some extra years.

I will always thank STBXWW for that much. It will help you detach and look elsewhere for happiness.

God bless.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
mhca
Member
Member # 41920
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

Yup. It's so so horrible, but there is a little solace in knowing that it's time to go. My STBXWW did largely the same thing, when I asked her how I knew there wouldn't be another A, she said we would work together to make sure the M never got that bad again! So yeah, that won't fly.

Hang in there. You don't have to take it anymore. You've got a life to live, time to shift gears and start living it. (Note to self: take my own advice )


Me: BH 47 STBXWW 47 (Lklb5)
M 19 years, DS 15, DS 11
DD#1: 12/24/2013
TT/Broke NC/False R
DD#2: 4/15/2014
TT 4/23, 4/24, 5/31, 7/19
Divorcing

Sample recovery plan, feedback welcome: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=539961


Posts: 802 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
justme1264
Member
Member # 42890
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

Uggggh...reading your words,

"the reality is, she betrayed me over and over and she is not remorseful at all, only talking about getting over her guilt and shame and really not taking any responsibility for the pain that I have endured multiple times."

I know EXACTLY what you mean by being at the end of your rope. You can't be in marriage with a WW who is incapable of remorse. It is beyond hurtful of what they did with their betrayal. It is 1000x more hurtful when they continue to make choices post affair that are so selfish, so immature, and so cruel. Their fawking guilt and shame is enough to drive a thousand knives right through our hearts and they DON'T GET IT. My swtbxww didn't blatantly say she would cheat again. That has to hurt like a mfer! But, my WW was just lying anyway.

Only you can choose to end your marriage. For me, forcing the divorce was the kindest thing I could do for myself and for her. She needed to face the consequences...real consequences. But, I have found she runs from them anyway, never really facing any consequence. She just continues to numb her guilt with more careless and damaging choices. I went back and forth with her. It was a tortuous experiences...long and tortuous. But, I came out knowing 100% I had done everything possible to save our marriage. Unfortunately, without true remorse, there can be no marriage.

Churchill once said, "when you get to the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on." I tied a hell of a knot and boy did I hold on. Eventually, she cut that knot off. That was some serious pain.

My heart goes out to you (((steppingup)))

[This message edited by justme1264 at 4:54 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Me = BS
Her = FWW
In R

Posts: 409 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: justme1264
ChangeMaker
Member
Member # 43899
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

I hear you SteppingUp, I threw in the towel on mine too. Zero remorse, only regret. The marriage was bad because of me, so she fucked another guy. She never wavered from that.

I know I have felt an overwhelming sense of calm, peace and excitement about the future since I realized one key thing about getting rid of her:

My conscience is clear. I tried. She didn't.


"Everything works if you let it." - Travis W. Redfish

DDay - June 7, 2014
Me - 43
WW - 41
DD - 6 and 3
Pulling the Plug


Posts: 362 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Ontario
Hopeful74
Member
Member # 44003
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

I'm sorry Step. It's not easy to come to that conclusion, and even harder actually letting go! Thinking of you and sending ((hugs))!


Me: BW 39 Him:WH 37 (M)12 years; (T)18 years -2 DD: 16; 3; 1 DS: 9
Separated, headed for Divorce-he's not strong enough for me
'Everytime you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place.' -

Posts: 302 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Hampton, VA
steppingup
Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

Thanks to everyone for their input and support. There can be no more clear of a decision that I have to make, not only for me but also for her, she needs me to push her out into the world she created. Rainbows and Unicorns.

One of our last conversations...(Me) "So am I not good enough for you?" (Her) *Silent*

Ok, that's enough...I cannot take it anymore.


Her (WW 40s) Me (BH, 40s) very young DS & DD

“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40

"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup


Posts: 518 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
HurtingandLost
Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)

I'm sorry step. That's shit. On the bright side there's no more living in anticipation of the next love triangle. The rest of your life is yours to live. You've been paroled from the prison of false R.


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
Topic Posts: 8