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BuckeyeBlues posted 5/16/2014 07:26 AM

I found via FB message on 5/7 (although she sent the message on 4/27), and I just looked again and had another message from her, sent Wednesday. I don't see these right away because she is not my friend (and won't ever be).
Here is her second message:
"Your husband has been cheating on you for years...I don't know...maybe that doesnt bother you"

What bothers me is that she keeps contacting me. My WS says there has been no contact between them, and has offered up his phone and tablet to me to make sure. I said, I think it's time for a no contact letter. He will write one today, and I will look it over, and send it. Should I block her? This is why I am thankful that my KIDS don't have FB (although they are old enough).

SisterMilkshake posted 5/16/2014 07:30 AM

Definitely block OW. Yes, a NC letter is in order.

OW is trying to undermine any headway you have made in reconciliation. You don't need that crap.

Your husband has been cheating on you for years...I don't know...maybe that doesnt bother you"
Fucking passive aggressive slunty bitch!

NeverAgain2013 posted 5/16/2014 07:34 AM

I wouldn't be so sure she's lying.

Cheaters sometimes confide in their affair partners about what they've done in the past, and maybe he did tell her some things he'd done before he had his affair with her.

As Dr. Phil says, for every rat you DO see, there are 50 more you don't.

OakStreet posted 5/16/2014 07:35 AM

I agree with the Sister. Block her ass.

BuckeyeBlues posted 5/16/2014 07:40 AM

"Fucking passive aggressive slunty bitch! "

Thanks, I needed that!!! LOL

And, in all fairness, he cheated WITH her for 5 years. He swears up and down that she was the only one. I even told him to come clean with me know, because if I find out about prior ones at a later time, he would be gone.

sunvalley posted 5/16/2014 07:44 AM

"maybe that doesn't bother you"

Do those sound like the words of someone who is trying to be helpful to your healing? She is trying to push buttons and get to you, she wants you to reply...yes I agree there is a possibility that he told her there were others, but chances are it's just her being spiteful and mean too...especially if their A went on for 5yrs. Do not reply, do not give her the satisfaction of even a "I know"....I only wish I had done the same in my situation! Simply delete her ass and never look back. Get the WS to do up a NC letter ASAP and let her know that you are a unified front against any further contact to either of you.

SisterMilkshake posted 5/16/2014 07:50 AM

Yeah, I feel OW probably meant he was cheating with it for years. *shrug* It is exactly what the OW in my situation tried to do and exaggerating everything. Telling me I should divorce him for cheating.

Look, our spouses are/were liars. The AP's are liars. I would be more likely to believe the remorseful liar I know and love as opposed to a liar who has their own agenda and not my best interest at heart.

Tearsoflove posted 5/16/2014 10:10 AM

I think the "maybe it doesn't bother you" comment is an indication of how much it bothers her that you're still with him. I agree that you should block her.

tfkeel posted 5/16/2014 10:40 AM

Your husband has been cheating on you for years...I don't know...maybe that doesnt bother you

APs sometimes become APs because they have a need to prove themselves "worthy".... being able to "steal" a man....

Like arsonists, they want to "watch it burn"....

The other way people sometimes prove themselves "worthy" is by denigrating others...

This OW is, in my opinion, satisfying her own needs by contacting you. She is gloating over her "win" and your "loss", and stating that your husband won't "cheat" on her....because she is superior....

[This message edited by tfkeel at 10:43 AM, May 16th (Friday)]

tryin2havefaith posted 5/16/2014 10:49 AM

Do. Not. Reply. I cannot reiterate it enough.

These people feed on the ego kibbles they can get. There is nothing OW can offer but more grief to you at this point. It is probably manipulation and attention seeking on OW's part. Do not give in to it. Concentrate on you and your healing.

Continue to verify. Your DDay is very recent if it is near your sign up day on SI, so strap in for a long rollercoaster ride.

Trust the wisdom of the veterans on here.

(((HUGS)))

Furious1 posted 5/16/2014 10:51 AM

"Your husband has been cheating on you for years...I don't know...maybe that doesnt bother you"

And she was nothing but the slunt that he cheated with. What does she want? A medal? A Bozo button? I mean, really! Sounds like she's desperate for any kind of attention. That is so pathetic.

I would send the NC letter and then block her.

Lalagirl posted 5/16/2014 10:56 AM

Blocking her is a good idea, but if she really wants to contact you, she'll create another FB account.

It's time to send the NC letter - and your H needs to mention that if the bitch tries to contact either of you, legal action will be taken.

Oh, and before you block, print out the messages...just in case you need them in the future.

Hugs...

Faithful w/Love posted 5/16/2014 11:01 AM

Honey she trying to get your goat, cause issues in you again and bring hurt.

These bitches are something else. The ones that feel entitled like they are the wife or something. There is a reason they are the OW and that the man doesn't leave his wife. Because they are broken and just down right disgusting creators.

I know how you feel because I have one just like this but she like to post on twitter...Don't let her get to you! She is NOTHING and she knows it.

Lord, I just don't understand the minds of AP's. They need to all be blown to an island of their own.

momentintime posted 5/16/2014 18:01 PM

What bothers you or doesn't is none of her damn business. Sounds like she wants to cause trouble and she is working on you and trying to instill fear and mistrust. Block her, ignore her and keep mending your M. She has shown her hand. She wants him and YOU are in the way. So she is working an angle to get what she wants....your H. So sad for her.....NOT.

krsplat posted 5/16/2014 18:40 PM

I'd go with D) All of the above.

DO block her.
DO NOT respond to her in any way. She wants to hurt you.
DO have your WH sent an NC letter which you read and approve first. Watch him send it.
DO assume there might be some truth to her statement. After finding out about my WH and LTA slunt, it took two more weeks for him to come clean about his long history of porn and ONSs, and I only learned about it because the slunt sent me nasty messages like the one you got.

Adeahan posted 5/16/2014 21:40 PM

yeah sounds like she is trying to get under your skin, let her rot in N/C land.

Adeahan posted 5/16/2014 21:40 PM

yeah sounds like she is trying to get under your skin, let her rot in N/C land.

12yearsloyal posted 5/17/2014 09:09 AM

Block her Azz, change all of the phone numbers, all of the e-mail addresses. She needs to go away. If for some reason she gets the new e-mails and/or phone numbers then slam her ass back with threatening a harassment restraining order. She needs to go away NOW.

Take full control of all of the technology in your house. Cancel FB if necessary. You can live without it for peace of mind.

PeaceLove187 posted 5/17/2014 16:54 PM

Does it even matter if what she says is true? Maybe he had previous affairs and maybe he didn't but the fact is he's still a cheater. Focus on the behaviors you know and make him fix himself. The important thing is that there are no more future affairs, which means he either makes the changes necessary to make you feel safe or you leave. If he's in the process of making those changes, then she's nothing but a piece of trash he left behind.

Want2help posted 5/18/2014 13:47 PM

I would be more likely to believe the remorseful liar I know and love as opposed to a liar who has their own agenda and not my best interest at heart.

^^^This.

Ow sent me this kind of message often after the affair. I didn't find SI for a year, so we never wrote a NC letter. She took this as free rign to contact ME.

She wasn't getting a response out of FWH, so she tried (for years) to get it out of me.

Get that NC letter written. Draft it together. Even with an attorney if you want it to really pack a punch, but get it done.

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