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Agnostic/Atheist Support Group

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Cephastion posted 3/26/2018 17:10 PM

My mom and I went thru her struggle with cancer together from my 7th grade or so until just days before my eighteenth birthday.

It was sooooo heart-wrenching.

I shed tears for you and your precious grandson.

Prayers, too, but I certainly can respect your difficulty with that...I prayed for my mom, too, you know...

SisterMilkshake posted 3/26/2018 17:17 PM

No, no, no, Cephastion, I really do appreciate your prayers. We will take whatever people have to offer. Who knows, (I sure as fuck don't), if prayers are answered in a positive way sometimes. I do not begrudge anyone their beliefs and appreciate the intent of sending up prayers for my dear Grandson. Thank you.

I have read your story, Cephastion, and it is heart wrenching and devastating. You have been let down by so many and yet you keep on going. You are an amazing man. I am sure your mother loved you so much and appreciated your being there for her and loving her.

Thanks, DMW, I so appreciate your support.

Trust in the care providers that they are doing everything possible, the rest is out of anyone's control.
We are. And, they are being positive, but I don't really know if they genuinely feel positive. But, it is okay, we will take it.

ZenMumWalking posted 4/9/2018 11:20 AM

SMS - just wondering how DGS is doing... tried to PM but you are at your limit.

Sending out more positive thoughts to you all.

((((SMS, DGS & family))))

SisterMilkshake posted 4/11/2018 12:29 PM

Thanks so much, DMW, for thinking of us and inquiring. (I will clear my PM's out.)

DGS has received his second round of chemo. He seems to be doing well with the treatment. He has more energy most of the time. However, he had to get a transfusion on Monday as his hemoglobin was way low and he was exhausted.

Whenever our DGS has a good day, it is a good day. We can only take it day by day. We appreciate all the good days we can get. He has a pretty positive attitude, most of the time, but he has his limits. Yesterday was a tough day for him. He was angry and upset. Who can blame him? His older brother, only 8, has been awesome and showing him much grace when his little brother takes his anger out on him.

My daughter is amazing. How she is holding herself together just blows me away. She says she doesn't have the luxury to fall apart. They are all being amazing, strong and brave in facing this crisis.

Appreciate all the thoughts and well wishes. Thank you so much for the care and concern.

Unhinged posted 4/11/2018 23:23 PM

(((SisterMilkshake))) I am so truly sorry to hear about your DGS. I truly hope he gets through this. I truly hope you get through this. And your daughter, too!

I don't read this thread very often. The first time I saw it, I thought it was rather odd that there would be a support group for agnostics and atheists. I mean, it's not a 'condition,' you know?

I've been an atheist all of my life. My mom's family is Christian, though not all very religious. My dad's family is Jewish and most of them aren't very religious, either. That probably has a lot to do with it. We attended Temple when I was kid. Our rabbis weren't very convincing (at least for me) and the kantar couldn't hold a tune to save his life. That probably had something to do with it, too.

Leftover superstition with powerfully deceptive messages. Well, you know what P.T. Barnum use to say?

Best wishes, friend.

ZenMumWalking posted 4/12/2018 09:31 AM

She says she doesn't have the luxury to fall apart.

I completely understand this. I do hope that she (and H) take a little time to take care of themselves though. It is so hard to take care of someone else when you are running on empty - I'm sure you know the feeling.

I'm glad that DGS has some good days, and of course it's understandable that everything's not bright and cheery for him. And what strength and compassion his brother is showing, when he is just a little kid himself!!

I know that you are a great source of support for DD and the whole family. It's times like this where people are put to the test. They are lucky to have you on their side.

More positive, healing thoughts and lots of mojo.

((((SMS & DGS & family))))

Rideitout posted 4/14/2018 05:31 AM

This group isn't very active, is it? I feel we must be the very laid back agnostics/atheists here. Actually, it has been my personal experience that I have only met laid back atheists. We aren't about indoctrinating others to our way of thinking.

LOL SMS, I feel the same way. But then I think about myself, how much time in my day do I spend thinking about "being an atheist"? The answer approaches 0, in fact, until I read this thread today, it might have been 0 for the entire year of 2018.

To me, anyway, I have peace that I "know" the answer. Do I really? Who the heck knows, but, I'm confident that I'm right, and that relieves any stress around "trying to figure it out". How much time did you spend today thinking about what the answer to 2+2 is? Not a whole lot, because you know the answer if 4. That's how I feel about the organized religion and the existence of God, at least as we explain him to be in most modern religions (all knowing friendly white guy with a long beard sitting on a cloud).

However, I did want to post in here because this played a huge role in my W's A. My wife comes from a very religious background, the AP was something of a "spiritual leader" to her, and their shared belief in god was used to justify, in many ways, their A. One of the the things the AP said to my W (granted, I know it was a lie, it was only to keep her underwear coming off easily, but it worked) was "Your husband can never love you like I do because he doesn't love our god". OMFG indeed.

That was the last in a long line of "straws" for me with religion. See, in my view, religions most powerful capability is that to excuse or inspire behavior that we all know is between wrong and atrocious. You will NEVER get a normal functioning adult to strap on a bomb and blow themselves up without making them also believe in an afterlife. In fact, you don't even need to go that far, I don't think that you can get a large group of atheists to even pick up a gun and march into war (think Vietnam) because it's not at all rational. When you die you die, and dying to impose our agenda on some country 4000 miles away seems like a waste; unless, of course, you believe this is only a pit stop on the way to a better place. Then, sure, go get shot up in a jungle somewhere because the sooner you die, the sooner you get to nirvana.

And that's been one of the things that has always made me question other's belief. Even in very religious families I know; they always take death very hard (similar to how I do). But I take it hard because, in my mind, that person is gone, never to return again. I'll never see that person, talk to them, share stories with them; they are dead. But, those who are deeply religious, what are you crying for? In your mind, this person is in heaven, it's a wonderful place without pain. And you'll be there someday too, enjoying this wonderful place with them. You should be happy for them, like they won the lottery and moved away into the most beautiful home you've ever seen with a fantastic wife/husband and great family. No, you don't get to see them anymore, but you know their life is wonderful and someday soon, you'll be moving in next to them. Who would cry about that?

I'm a very logical person, it's why I post all the time about WW's and not understand why they do it (because, IMHO, most of them are used/abused by the A without a lot of "getting what they want" out of it), and religion just is full of logical holes (like the one I pointed out above) so big you can drive a truck through them. Couple that with how it's used to twist and distort people; it's just not for me. I know it's helpful and valuable to some, but I honestly think it's damaging to more than it's helped.

ZenMumWalking posted 4/20/2018 16:41 PM

I believe when you're dead, you're dead, but the person is always with you in your memories and your heart and mind. Not in a meta-physical way though.

Tred posted 4/20/2018 16:49 PM

"To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die."
Thomas Campbell

That works for me.

SisterMilkshake posted 4/22/2018 01:59 AM

Visited with my precious grandson today at the hospital as he is getting 3rd round of chemo.

Played lots of games with him. He is a cheater! I don't know if he is unsure of how to count or if he is just cheating. I don't care, he can cheat and win all he wants. If that makes him happy, I am happy.

I love him so much. He is bald, so very thin and pale. Tubes coming out of his body in many places. I want to cry when I see him. He is so precious to me. My little soulmate! I bonded with him more than I have with my other two grandson's. I just get him and he gets me.

I don't know if there is an afterlife. I don't know if there is a God. What I do know is that if a God exists that most Christians proclaims to exist, I feel he is not a very good God. He is not deserving of my adoration.

What I do believe in is a spirtituality. I do believe that we have souls. I do believe that there is something beyond our earthly existence. Or maybe it is that I hope there is. I want to be able to meet my dear sisters that have passed before me. I want to be able to meet my BFF who died of breast cancer a couple of months prior to d-day, again. I want to be able to reunite with my dear adopted son again. If my dear grandson passes away, I want to be able to see him again and rejoice together in the afterlife.

StillLiving, somewhere in this thread, told me that who knows maybe that is a possibility. We really don't know, do we? Are you all really that certain? I know I am not a true atheist. I don't know shit. It is too big for me to understand.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:08 AM, April 22nd (Sunday)]

Rideitout posted 4/22/2018 06:16 AM

What I do know is that if a God exists that most Christians proclaims to exist, I feel he is not a very good God.

Sadly, I feel the same way. An all powerful being who could stop the suffering with a snap of the fingers but doesn't.. I have a little trouble thinking this is someone I want to adore and love. In fact, it kind of feels to me like a child with a bug and a magnifying lens, slowly cooking the bug for some level of enjoyment, able to stop it at any moment, but deciding not to.

Sorry, if there is a God, I struggle thinking of him as an all loving figure. Perhaps he has some reason for making us suffer, and perhaps that reason is a good one, but.. Does the ant cooking under the heat of the sun think that too? Has God decided to punish that ant? Or is that ants God just a bored kid with a magnifying lens who cares not at all for the ant's suffering?

ZenMumWalking posted 4/22/2018 06:32 AM

Keep playing with your game cheating DGS as often and as much as you can!!!

And try not to worry about what he looks like, he is beautiful as long as he is ALIVE.

I do not believe in god. And supposing that I am wrong, I do not see any evidence for a loving god. That makes no sense when DGS is going through this, who would do that to a young, innocent child?

Blind faith would say something like 'we cannot know/understand how god works or his plan for us' and so we're supposed to just trust in god. These bad things are happening as tests of faith. To me that just makes no sense.

In any case.... I am glad that you came here to update, I was just planning on asking you how he is doing - how's that for spirituality working in concert!! He's a brave little dude, and he's lucky he has such a loving family there to support him. I hope that there is a way that everyone else can take a break once in a while. Also bear in mind that it is important to pay some attention to the other DGS, because all of this is just too big for him as well.

Sending out more love, mojo and positive, healing thoughts.

((((SMS & family))))

allspent posted 5/8/2018 09:56 AM

This group isn't very active, is it? I feel we must be the very laid back agnostics/atheists here. Actually, it has been my personal experience that I have only met laid back atheists. We aren't about indoctrinating others to our way of thinking.

LOL SMS, I feel the same way. But then I think about myself, how much time in my day do I spend thinking about "being an atheist"? The answer approaches 0, in fact, until I read this thread today, it might have been 0 for the entire year of 2018.

It's funny you say this, because there's a lot of misunderstanding out there about what being an "atheist" means. The word "theist" means the belief in god or gods - the "a" prefix literally changes it to "not the belief in god or gods". That doesn't require any effort or thought at all! How much effort and time does a Christian put into not believing in Thor on a daily basis?

Personally I enjoy philosophizing about the theism and atheism, and engaging with others about it. But that is in addition to being an atheist, not an intrinsic part of it.

Of course shortly after my dday and my un-remorseful WW, I definitely had the thought that those fundamentalist religious people who go in for stoning or something as the punishment for adultery might be onto something. Not exactly a good thought, I know. I managed to move past that stage of misery fairly quickly.

sisoon posted 5/8/2018 20:41 PM

Cheating kids ... my GS never understood that I was prepared to throw the game each and every time. He had to cheat. It's a phase that's 3-4 years long.

Of course, he beats me in gin on his own.

I hope your GS recovers and grows to a happy, healthy adulthood.

Hurtbeyondtime posted 7/30/2018 01:28 AM

SMS

Iím so sorry for your DGS. I hope the chemo is working and that heís finished with this phase. My thoughts are with you and all your family and especially with this beautiful child. He doesnít deserve it sweet innocent lives.
Wishing him strength and some wupass for the cancer.

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