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First it was the stripper pole, then he drove the children (3) in the front seat of his truck without seat belts.

Now my kids just came home and son was in tears saying that he hated his dad.

His brother (7) and sister (8) said that dad made a fist and punched S (8) in the leg and said "that is a charlie horse".

Apparently S was having a tantrum and was kicking the back of his dads car seat. S can have brutal tantrums....they last for hours and are exhausting but slugging a kid??

There is no bruise (yet). CPS was called (not by me) for the stripper pole dad installed in the game room. They said that they could not do anything because it was not against the law,,,,I have requested a special master to help mediate (still waiting for Opposing counsel to get back to my attorney) what recourse do I have??

Without a bruise or a mark (and only the word of three small children) How long do I have to let this lack of parenting go on before I can do anything?

I am beside myself because I can not protect my children when they are with their father.

Check his leg in the morning. If there's a bruise, call the police and file a report and make sure they take pictures.

A swat on the butt is one thing but slugging a kid is not acceptable!

A couple of things come to mind. I was in a position with my 1st husband where the technology at the time wasn't such that I could "prove" things, and so had no grounds to keep him from visitations.

1) Don't lose hope that testimony at some time from the kids won't be heard. Find out if someone in the court system would be willing to talk to them about this incident..or do they have child advocates for custody cases in your state? Barring those two, I'd be tempted to tape record their recollections of this and any other incidents they report after their visits.

Your son with the temper tantrums? Sure divorce makes even mild manner kids act up, but does he have a history of this at school too? You might want to find out what it will take for the court to sway your way for visitation restriction on the dad & a teacher report before the school year is out may come in handy.

2) You might think about giving them their own phone to take with them in case they need to call in an emergency. Instructing them on how to send Daddy yelling at them as a voice message or taking a picture of a red spot at the time before they come home & it's gone might be of help?

I feel your pain on not being able to protect your kids 24/7. In the end, I got 100% physical custody, X got visitation & we split 50/50 on legal custody (for accidents). It won't have to be like this forever. Find out at what age the kids can make up their own mind whether they want to visit with Daddy or not & don't be afraid to hold off a scheduled visitation after incidents like this unless your attorney strongly advises against it. A child being terrified of their own father has to count for someth.ing

(((iseetriple)))

File a report regardless. Paper trails can add up.

He is such an ass. Can I go beat the fuck out of him?

BoB

The damage is there it's just is not showing well to the naked eye. File the report and have the police bring the deep tissue camera it is a special filtered lens that will show the slightest bruising that is not even visible to the naked eye. They used it on my daughter when my wife hit her. No one should ever ball fist a child.

((((((hug))))))

They usually will listen to the kids if they are not prompted. It would be a good idead to have they tell someone else (neutral party) ASAP so they there is documentation. It can go a long way toward helping your case. They pros are trained in interviewing children and can often tell if they lying (especially with more than one child witnessing the incident).

Document it all as well. The paper trail does add up.

Dang, this pisses me off!

I urge you to take it to the police as well as file a report with your lawyer and child services. The paper trail will ultimately add up. In the mean time, you might want to look into some IC for your child or at lease cue in his/her teacher/school counselor or religious leader, just to make certain that the child's emotional hurts are being addressed. Depending on the age of the child sometimes it is easier for them to talk to someone outside of the family.

Big hugs to you as I realize the helplessness you must feel has to be huge. You are doing a great job in a difficult position, never forget that.

EX claims that he just "swatted" his leg. He said he made the swat after he asked S to stop kicking the seat of his car . He said he was afraid that S would hurt the car or himself.

last night, while my son was crying, he asked me why I picked his dad to be his dad....he said " all he did was leave and now he just hurts us." I felt terrible. I said I was sorry. I also said that dad did not believe in marriage the way I did but that he loved S the best way he knows how to love. Sometimes we can love someone really hard but they can stil choose to leave....we can chose to love them anyway and I hope that he loved his dad.

Do not let this go. It will only get worse. Report it. Get this documented. Ask about the deep tissue camera. Do not do nothing.

Document everything, date, time, what was done/said.

It goes a long way. Trust your instincts. If you children are totally miserable with him, then there is a reason why. He can't take out his frustration and anger on them.

You can always take your son to the closest ER or to his pediatrician. Yes! I know you may sit there for hours before they get to you but the doctor would be require to document the incident in your child medical record (evidence you can use in court) and file a report with CPS (more evidence). As far as I know (at least in TX) those are taken in as priority cases over the ones called in by parents.

last night, while my son was crying, he asked me why I picked his dad to be his dad....he said " all he did was leave and now he just hurts us."

That just breaks my heart.

And WTF, why is it always the BS who has to hear the babies cry and deal with their hurt?