SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Last night, WXH and I were having a heart-to-heart. I asked him if he ever found me attractive.

He said "I think you're attractive, but I hate your dyke haircut."

I am a working professional woman. I have an appropriate hairdo for what I do, and I feel that it fits my non-fussy personality.

It was just a knife to my heart because Skank has long, curly, high-maintenance hair.

That's not me, nor will it ever be me. It was just not what I needed to hear from him.

He is poison so move on. If you are ok with who you are then that is all that matters.

Honey, who the hell cares what he thinks? You're divorced! He's a cheating bastard. You don't have to hold yourself up to his standards and you certainly shouldn't be comparing yourself to the OW.

If you like your haircut and it makes you feel attractive then that's all that matters.

Quit engaging with him. His opinion is worth absolutely nothing.

(((hugs))) It's not your hair, it's him that's wrong.

Mine said he hated the color of mine. Oh well.

They will try and find any reason to spin you off balance. You are perfect the way you are.

These are people who will abandon a life partner for the color or cut of her hair. Sometimes you have to step back to digest how truly appalling that is.

One of my XH's "reasons" was that I didn't drive enough on long trips.

When someone is incapable of engaging on any deeper a level than his wife's haircut, or how much she drives on trips, or how much she weighs, then this is what happens. And they feel entitled to be nasty about it, since that gives them justification for what they've done.

I just hate this part, where a BS is hurt by these petty, horrible little slights. I hope he enjoys Skank's long curly hair, because there's nothing underneath it.

Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy your hair that is *you*, as well as the integrity, strength and intelligence that lies beneath it. You are a whole package.

Piss on him, I say.

You can't have a heart to heart talk with someone who doesn't have one.

-Defiance

You can't have a heart to heart talk with someone who doesn't have one.

Oooh, I like that, D.

Yeah, I guess what bothers me is the words that he used and the tone of his voice.

You guys, of all people, know what infidelity does to one's self-esteem.

It really makes me mad because I like my hair - it is so totally me - practical and unpretentious, yet still professional.

On a lighter note, Skank's long hair is what I used to yank her out of her vehicle and fling to the ground on D-

Day, so maybe she should consider a cut if she's going to pursue married men!

[This message edited by Williesmom at 7:46 AM, March 12th (Friday)]

Why do you even talk to him?

Why do you even talk to him?

Ditto.

We're still winding down the assets. He is self employed and works from the shop on my property.

He's in the process of moving to his place, so we're working out logistics.

I am kind enough to let him stay until his shop is ready. The discussion last night started there and ended with the hair comment. This just reinforces the "business only" that needs to be discussed.

He's a dick. Since you need to continue contact for now, yeah - keep it business.

Skank's long hair is what I used to yank her out of her vehicle and fling to the ground on D-

Day, so maybe she should consider a cut if she's going to pursue married men!

Thanks for that, I needed that laugh right now...(the visual is great...)

Don't pay attention to anything he says...he is only trying to hurt you and make himself feel better for screwing things up. If you like your hair, then that is all that matters, and you will feel better about yourself when you like how you look, and that will come off as more confidant, so it is good!

NC except when absolutely necessary.

He's an ass and you deserve better.

Wolf

"Well I hate your teeny tiny dick thst I need a microscope to find."

What an asshole!

Simply put, you are allowing him to have power over your self image. He went for a skank, bottom line. His opinion of you is about the same as asking the nut dust he leaves on the toilet rim.

The men and women of SI have spoken.....He's the past and it doesn't matter anymore what he thinks. If you love your looks, that's all that counts. XWH has shown no taste anyway. gma

What a relief! He's not attracted to you. Consider that a blessing.

His opinion of your looks means nothing. And if it does, rearrange your mind so that it doesn't.

Last night, WXH and I were having a heart-to-heart. I asked him if he ever found me attractive.

No more heart-to-hearts. You aren't heart to heart; you're heart to nut dust (thank you TwiceTorn ) What you want from him and what you're going to get from him are two different things. The best thing to do is to have No Contact, because the slippery slope between business and heart-to-heart is very definable. You don't just get there; you choose to go there, and if you can't control that, best to stay away entirely.

You guys, of all people, know what infidelity does to one's self-esteem.

I certainly do, which is why I stay as far away from the person who destroyed, stomped on, and mutilated my self-esteem as possible. I have given him chance after chance to be a human being, and each and every time, he has f*cked me over. Now that I'm tired of being his escape goat, my life is so much simpler and my self-esteem so much higher.

Stick to business with him. Protect your heart and stay away from loaded questions.

I'm guessing you rock it, and he's just a wee bit upset that he ever let you get away.

AJ's MOM