SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This is great for the kids, and I am happy for him too. But -- he put an offer on a house that is just around the corner from me. Close enough that the kids could ride their bikes to my place easily. My oldest has a housekey.

They don't know that I spend weekends with a guy I am seeing. Some of those nights here at my place. Or even that I date.

Clearly X is not thinking this through, or has not started the dating part of his NB (though I did see him on OKC )

When he texted me about it today I gently asked that perhaps being so close might "get uncomfortable in the future". He did not respond yet.

Seriously X?!

Or maybe he's not as considerate and thoughtful as you are about dating and its ipmact on your children.

Uh no, that will not work.

I had a friend with two young daughters who got divorced from a narcissistic control freak who thought he was God's gift to women. Both parents were very active in the girls' lives and they had a wide circle of neighborhood friends. The dad bought a house in the neighborhood so the kids could move easily between the two homes. It actually worked out great for them and allowed a level of co-parenting that was healthy for the girls and beneficial to both parents. Her ex dated a great deal during that time; her not so much. But when she finally met the guy she ended up marrying (after the last one went away to college) she spent all her non-custodial time at his house; no overnights at her house.

It wasn't always easy and she got some guff from her girls that they didn't give to their dad. But she was a trooper.

It turned out to be a very good decision as he was diagnosed with a terminal illness several years after their divorce and died within months. My friend was very thankful she didn't make a big deal out of his staying close by and that her daughters were able to be near their dad throughout his illness.

XWH and I live within walking distance of each other. He dates non-stop and I have since remarried.

The close proximity does work out well for the kids, but it was annoying for me in the beginning. Now, it doesnt bother me at all and HE tends to avoid my little cul de sac whenever possible.

Clearly X is not thinking this through, or has not started the dating part of his NB

hmm maybe he 'has' thought this through and either wants to be near you or just couldn't care a less if it makes you uncomfortable?

Regardless if it works it would be nice for the kids to have both parents so close.

I'm with the Original Poster. I don't want my X anywhere near me. The 20 miles now is perfectly fine by me. He's not much of a father anyhow so him being down the street would simply be an annoyance.

I wouldnt mind him being relatively close -- like other said, its good for the kids -- but not THAT close. I just think we don't need to be all up in each other's business like that. Go to the neighborhood closer up to the kids' school, on the other side of the busy road or something! I don't want to see the cars in his driveway etc as I pass any more than I am sure he does... I'd rather keep a bit more space, not blur the boundaries so much with the kids either.