SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am catholic and I am so confused. It is improper to date until an annulment is granted which can take a long long time.

Is anyone else in this situation and what did you do? I feel like its wrong but yet I want to move forward and enjoy life. I am not getting any younger.

Any thoughts would be appreicated.

It's ok to date but you can't get married in the church until the annulment is granted...

12 years of Catholic schooling here...

WB

Well, my Parish Priest told me i can still participate in the sacraments now, and even after the divorce is legally finalized. However, he also said, even if legally divorced, the Church will only consider us "separated" but still married.

I didn't ask more questions about dating, because i wasn't in a place where i even felt it was appropriate to ask.

It is true, you cannot get married in the Church unless annulment is granted, but the Churches' position is you're still married until annulment is granted.

I started the process the day after my divorce was final. In the statement that was part of the paperwork I specifically stated that I was not currently in a relationship nor was I interested in one. I wanted the tribunal to know that I was seeking the anullment to undo the lie that was my marriage in the eyes of the church, which was the absolute truth. But I also said that if marriage was a possibility in the future I wanted to be able to marry in the church.

It's very possible to move forward and enjoy life without dating but I can certainly understand that you can't always dictate when the right person might pop into your life.

It took a year to get my annulment. The process was pretty wrenching and I was in no place to date at that time anyway. I felt I needed that closure before I could entertain the idea of getting involved with anyone else and it was another year after that before I actually started dating.

I think it's different for everyone. You have to do what's right for you. If you feel like you need to get out there to prove something or because everyone else says it's time to "move on" but deep down you feel like it's wrong, dating probably won't be an enjoyable experience for you.

Test the waters, see how it feels and then decide. But whatever you do, do it for YOU.

I was dating during my annulment process from the church. I have been divorced for 10 years from XH, the annulment process was started in 2009.. with lots of breaks in between due to illness and other issues.

Annulments in my diocese take about 2-3 years to complete.

I was dating XSO when I filed, my then priest liked SO and encouraged me to file for the annulment. Priest died over a year ago, SO became XSO almost a year ago... I get it when I get, IF I get it.

I just want to be spiritually unlinked from XH.

Good luck,

K

I talked to my priest right before I filed for divorce. He said I can continue to receive sacraments as long as I do not pursue a relationship with anyone else. In the eyes of the church, I remain married even if legally divorced. I have to seek an annulment if I intend to date.

I got an annulment on my first marriage. It took almost a year to complete.

ETA:spelling

[This message edited by Pagurl at 8:54 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)]

I got an annulment from my son's father. It is actually considered adultery if you establish a relationship before you are granted.

Mine took about 20 months & about 30 grand but so worth it!

Just curious, Undecided, why did it cost 30G? I got an annulment from my first marriage, but paid nothing. Is it different in Massachusetts?

My ex got an annulment from his first wife while married to me, then I became Catholic, then they convalidated our marriage.

Man....you guys are making me glad that I didn't get married in a Catholic church!

$30,000? That's not right. They can't require you to pay one dime.

I paid nothing. They never asked for money. I would have been furious if they did.

Here in the Baltimore area they make a big deal because it "only" costs $750.

I will have to do this if I marry my SO and have it recognized in his church. I haven't wrapped my head around that yet.

$30,000?!?! That's insane!!! Even $750 is crazy! I haven't paid anything. I will probably give a small donation when all is said and done.

I know they say divorce is expensive because it's worth it but there was only a "suggested" fee for my annulment. And it was a sliding scale with $850 the top of the scale.

$30,000---well just WOW!

In the early 90's it cost a friend's sister a couple of thousand dollars in MD.

It was actually 27,000. I was only 22(so 28 yrs ago) at the time and would have to go get the paperwork. My father(who was an attorney) handled the process.

I am thinking it may have been because I was pregnant at the time and he was fighting it. I just remember him being told if you continue to date after the ceremony, umm are you really married?

[This message edited by UndecidedinMA at 10:14 AM, March 23rd (Saturday)]

I believe Undecided is talking about a legal annulment, not a Catholic annulment.