This Topic is Archived
CheaterMagnet (original poster member #33581) posted at 2:31 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
It's 3:30 AM here and I can't sleep. I just want to crawl in bed with him and curl up against him.
But I can't. I can't keep compromising and let him rugsweep. He's an addict. If he doesn't work a program, he will act out again. And I will pay the price.
I have to keep remembering all the awful things he said about me too. He is showing me who he is. Why is it so hard to believe him? How did we go from him being full of remorse for the pain he caused me to him not caring at all.
And why do I still want him?
If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 2:33 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Don't do it sweetie. He isn't the man you thought you married.
Get online and look at places to live instead. Start making plans to get your new life started.
Without him!
Big hugs. You can do it.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:25 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
((((CM)))) Keep breathing, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
CheaterMagnet (original poster member #33581) posted at 8:58 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Thanks guys! I made it through the night.
Very weird though, I got up first and was sitting in my massage chair when he got up. He came out and bent down and just hugged me super hard. I think he might even have been crying. He didn't say a word though and after that, everything just went back to the way it's been. Roommates.
Faith, I am looking for a place to move but I really can't until my car is fixed. The estimate is $1500 and I don't have the $ yet. Also, there is a perfect apartment right next door to where I work, and the person living there is supposed to be looking for a new place. Ideally, she will leave at the end of April and I will take the space. It would be unbelievably convenient, it is super cheap and I wouldn't really need my car. So, I'm just kind of hanging on until she moves out.
I am looking at other options as well, there just hasn't been anything really exciting. I did see a roommate situation on CL yesterday. Gorgeous home with a million dollar view and a pool. The roommate is an elderly lady with a golden retriever. I'd jump on it, but I would need a car from that location.
*sigh* It sucks to be poor. That's what I get for working for a non-profit. I do love my job though.
If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 2:11 AM on Saturday, April 13th, 2013
I got rid of my car and never regretted it. Not for everyone, but it works for me.
Glad you held out. And looking at different living situations is exciting.
The mansion/pool scenario sounds intriguing. 
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 2:32 AM on Saturday, April 13th, 2013
Glad you made it CheaterMagnet!! The sooner you are able to move out, the easier it will be to detach and have NC. I think it's awesome that you have a plan!! Keep you eyes looking forward!
healingtree ( member #15467) posted at 3:39 AM on Saturday, April 13th, 2013
It does suck to be poor, I hear ya! But if we pay attention, what we need will roll our way.
Don't get sucked back in. Once you are out of there it will be easier to let go.
FBS 1st D-day 7-11-07, 2nd DDay Post-Breakup in 8-12, since then, setting my own course
HIM - Doesn't Matter Anymore
The only thing we can change about the past is how we look at it.
This Topic is Archived
