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Dd has been taking an Adult Education class through the public library for over 2 years. She has asked her dad several times to take her to class and see what she has learned. But he always has an excuse not to go. He is unemployed so it isn't that. She had a meeting at his house this past Wednesday night and afterwards asked him to take her to class. Skank had a fit but allowed him to take her. Except he didn't stay. To make skank happy he just dropped her off went home then went back later to pick dd up. Dd just got a job in February and the company is having an open house tomorrow for family members to see where your family member works. Dd asked her dad Wednesday night if he would like to go but he claims he is busy and can't go. Claims he has already been inside factory. You won't go and support your kid? Let her show off where she works and what she does all day. Something that she is proud of!!

He got upset last year at State Softball as he found out then that both kids were doing State Corn Hole the next day. We didn't bother to tell him the sport was added. He couldn't make it to their first game of State basketball this year because he was to be somewhere else that day. Yet State basketball has been held the same weekend for several years. Couldn't you schedule around them???? Dd is getting an award later this month and there is a reception when she gets the award. I have told Ex about the award and he claims he might want to go. Dd told me yesterday that she doesn't want him to attend. Besides she says he will have something to do instead or skank won't let him attend. I haven't told him when it is yet.

Yet he gets mad when we don't tell him when they have events (both in Special Olympics) but when they do ask him to things he always has an excuse why he can't be there. I don't understand????

Don't you know you are responsible for what kind of father he is?

Oh wait...

No you're not.

Don't be surprised that he thinks its all your fault. That thinking is what got him in this mess in the first place.

Who gives a flying fuck if he gets upset - his actions have consequences. Most of us learn that by age 10. Unremorseful waywards are yet to learn that invaluable life lesson. He may never learn it. So be it.

Expect that he will continue to behave as if all of it is your fault. You'll save yourself a whole bunch of head scratching or energy trying to understand crazy.

There's no understanding crazy. It will make you crazy trying.

I'm sorry he hasn't done better for your DDs.

Can you use one of those internet planner things - that way you put in everything that's going on with the kids and its up to him to look it up.

No excuses - no need for contact. Sounds like a plan to me.

The kids are adults. Ds is 33 while dd is 28. Both with mental disabilities. Both have reading tutors but he has no idea when they meet or where or what they are doing. He has never even meet ds's tutor. And only meet dd's once. Their weekly schedules are pretty much set week to week but he as never asked what the are.

The kids have decided they don't want him at events anymore and won't tell him when events are. He only finds out on the Special Olympics website or facebook page or if dd's best friend's mom texts him and lets him know. Dd has asked her not to tell him but she does when he asks. And he moved back here with skank to help take care of the kids. I'm missing seeing that happen.

And he moved back here with skank to help take care of the kids. I'm missing seeing that happen.

confused51 ~ I am so glad that you are their only parent!! Can I ask you a question? If you are not comfortable answering, I will totally understand. Was your STBX/XH an involved parent while your children were growing up?

It is so sad that he is CHOOSING to miss HUGE events in your children's life. He really should be ashamed of himself.

Oh yes he was involved in their activities when we were married. It has been only since the affair, marriage to skank moving across country and back that he has changed.

He was one of ds's boy scout leaders for a couple of years. Helped coach one of dd's softball teams. He would go to open houses at school. Help with homework. All those things a parent should do.

He claimed the reason they moved back here was to help take care of his dad (now dead), her mom (one foot in the grave) and the kids. I have asked the kids not to let them take care of them as you see where Grandpa is and where her mom is close to being.