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Generally speaking, would it be considered "not right" if a non-custodial parent took the kids about 1,000 miles away out of state during his visitation weekend? And didn't notify the custodial parent about this?

Would it be a reason for concern that the people he was taking the children to were the ones he'd made detailed plans with previously to send the kids away to to live (over & despite my objections)?

I have no idea, but I am sorry that you have to deal with SO much. It's colossally unfair.

Speak to your lawyer, do you have anything in your custody paperwork regarding distance travelling or not leaving the state or country without permission from other parent?

For instance in my case in our custody orders we specified taking out of the country/state had to give 30 days notice prior and could only be during schedule school vacation time and if it impacts on the other parent's time with the children permission must be sort. Also if staying 2 or more nights away from the parent's house the other parent must be informed prior.

Custody & visitation is not settled yet. We have temporary paperwork established granting me sole physical & legal custody with him having visitation, but there's nothing there about long trips so far away. Presently he isn't allowed any overnights because he's a pervert. However, he's fighting me for 50/50 custody (because he's an asshole as well as a pervert).

My kids have confided in me that Daddy has been talking to them about going away in an airplane to see __people___.

ETA: It really bothers my children that Daddy makes these big plans for them without talking to me, BTW. They are VERY uncomfortable with the idea of just going off so far away from me without even telling me. I thank God for my children having good hearts & honest minds.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 2:41 AM, April 16th (Tuesday)]

NG,

IF he has no overnight visitation how is he going to do this trip? Fly out in the morning and back in the evening?

Or is this just him planning for when he gets his 50/50 custody?

Contact your lawyer...there are avenues legally that your lawyer can put a stop to this.

Hugs for you and your kiddos...

K

I'm pretty sure XH and I have to tell each other before taking the children out of state. It hasn't been an issue since we are both pretty open about things. He's taken them out of state once, on a road trip to a zoo. I'll be taking the boys out of state this summer to visit family, but XH knows about it.

Definitely consult with your lawyer and see what kind of limitations you can put on this legally.

I'd be concerned especially if he's taking the children to a place where he tried to move the kids to live.

In my state it would definitely be a violation. We are not able to leave the state with the children without permission from the other. Definitely speak to your lawyer.

Even if it were legal, it is not right for an ex spouse to plan a big trip like that with no notification to you. What if the kids got hurt or something while away? You need to at least know where they are going and the dates they will be gone.

I would definitely have it put in the final custody papers that you have to be notified if he plans to leave the state during his parenting time.

The fact that he's claiming to be making travel plans when he doesn't have overnight visitation is kind of creepy. Bring it up with your lawyer to see if it's worth making an issue out of it but I know if it was me I'd be wondering if he was maybe planning to snatch the kids. (I hate to even think it, but...)

[This message edited by damncutekitty at 1:48 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)]

DCK, that is where my mind went first because of the umpteen dozen times he threatened to take the children away from me over the years. I know of two times he made actual plans with people to do it, once when they were infants and again when they were older & I was having a health crisis. Then there's the million times he'd take the kids after we'd have a fight, take them out of the house without telling me, I'd suddenly realize I was alone. OR, he'd take them along on an errand and wouldn't come back for hours, wouldn't answer his phone. Fun stuff like that to punish me.

Where he's planning to take the kids now is to see the person he'd made plans with previously to take the kids to live with to get them away from me.

How horrifying! NG, I would make sure the oldest has a cell phone with a GPS tracker like Latitude or Family Locator on all visitations going forward. You could probably even make it a requirement in the official visitation requirements.

How horrifying! NG, I would make sure the oldest has a cell phone with a GPS tracker like Latitude or Family Locator on all visitations going forward. You could probably even make it a requirement in the official visitation requirements.

Big hugs to you girl. These NPD a-holes just love throwing us through the emotional ringer, don't they?

Since I filed for D, we have had administrative orders specifying we are not to take our children outside the surrounding 5 counties..

My only good advice would be to talk to your attorney. There is NO WAY IN HELL he should be taking them that far away without substantial notice, travel plans, phone numbers, the whole nine..

On a positive note, at least he continues to dig his own grave.. Like any judge would be happy to hear he did that..

Talk to your lawyer now. As far as I'm concerned, if he doesn't have overnight visitation, has "disappeared" with my kids before because he was ticked, has made plans to move my kids away from me, and now I was hearing plans that he wanted to take the kids to that place? No way in hell would he have ANY visitation until I had those papers iron clad. Don't trust him at all.