SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Folks here often talk about SI being the club you never want to join...but I found out today that I'm part of a more exclusive club. WH gave me HPV. It was detected through my regular annual pap in March. At that time, I also got the full set of STD tests, and silly me! I forgot about HPV being a part of the pap, and not the blood tests. When the blood work came back clean, I breathed a big sigh of relief. I was so clueless (in denial?) that even when the pap showed abnormal cells and I had to schedule a colposcopy, I thought, "Phew! At least I know it's not an STD. I already got tested for those." Sigh. Anyway, I found out when I showed up for the colposcopy that not only were abnormal cells found, but HPV was also detected. My GYN took two biopsies, and now I get to sit and wait for results. And think about the fact that WH gave me an STD.

I haven't been posting lately or regularly, ever since WH figured out who I was here and read all my posts. I read when I can, though, and draw inspiration from y'all all the time. The D has been on hold for some complicated reasons, but this is the only forum that feels like "home." D is in my future, just unsure of the timeline.

Thanks for reading. I just feel the need to get this out somewhere. I know too many of you can really relate.

You have your STD tests from when you had your kids right?

Can you more or less prove that he and the OW/ho's gave him the STD that you now have?

Yes...no HPV when I was pregnant or at last few paps...and now, bingo! Ugh.

I would sue him and the OW if you can prove he cheated on you with her. I'd also think about criminal charges.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I'm so sorry. My diagnosis of HPV was how I found out my H had cheated. It was a horrible way to find out.

One thing. Please check and make sure that you have been tested for herpes. Unless you specifically ask them to test for it they usually do not. They usually only test if you have symptoms.

I very much understand your pain.

(((bluewoman)))

Thanks for the support. Fallingquickly, I can only say that even though I already knew he cheated, it still felt like a shock, if that even makes sense. I can't imagine how much worse it would be with a total blindside like you had. How awful! And thanks for the tip about getting tested for Herpes. They did include it in the blood work, and mentioned specifically that it was negative. I do have to follow up with HIV testing again in six months, of course...and then if I'm "lucky" and the biopsies aren't dire, just more frequent paps to monitor what the HPV is doing.

Blue.. I'm sorry he gave you HPV. Maddening.

I also have a stbx who figured out my name here and actually tried to use my posts against me in court. Doooshbag.

I completely understand not wanting to post often. It really made me not post at all for some time. I finally decided I just don't give a shit! If he is such a poor tiny little man that he has nothing better to do than read what is posted on an anonymous webpage for surviving the HELL he has put me through, then so be it.

hang in there...

Oh how heartbreaking. Yeah, that's a DDay no-one wants to have. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, that is awful. I just went int for all my STD testing yesterday. Hoping everything comes back clear. I just had a baby in Sept. and of course had all testing during my pregnancy and fortunately wasn't having much sex during pregnancy or right afterwards, so hopefully I'm okay.

I tested positive for HPV six months ago. (The cancer causing kind, not the warts.) I actually just went earlier this week to do a follow up. My doctor told me that it can live dormant in your body for up to five years without a positive test (or show up immediately), and that an estimated 75-90% of sexually active adults get it at some point. She called it "the common cold of STDs". She also told me that there's no real way to protect against it (condoms do nothing for HPV) and that it usually clears up on it's own. She was so incredibly unconcerned, it was actually a little unnerving for me. When I went back this week, she didn't even want to do the test, just a normal pap, but I asked her to for my peace of mind. I asked her six months ago about telling prospective partners (I am a few years out from my divorce and dating) and she said there was no reason to bother, since men don't even get tested for it (although they are starting to test gay men rectally, since new studies are showing rectal cancer from HPV in gay men is as common as cervical cancer in straight women from it).

I know that this sucks, and is scary, but if anything were to crop up, this is actually a pretty decent one to see.

Thanks everyone. I hope it all comes back clear for you, newlysingle. It's so important to get tested. I dragged my heels all the way until I was due for my annual. At least I know now.

And thanks for sharing your experience, Amazonia. I've been educating myself on this, and it's shocking how common it is. Looks like there are many different strains, and only a few that cause cancer. So of course it's very common and doesn't cause issues for most people. I hope that the biopsy results can give me some answers one way or another.

Welcome to our "sub-set" club.

It's like getting run over with a minibus when you get informed of the HPV results. You've already been hit with the dumptruck of infidelity and then just to make sure you are COMPLETELY devestated that smaller minibus comes and runs over you again.

The only positive thing that came from my HPV incident was that it made FWS realize just how stupid he was and that he was one of those "dirty" people who passed along an STD.

Sorry you are here.

{{{hugs}}}

k9

K9,

It's like getting run over with a minibus when you get informed of the HPV results. You've already been hit with the dumptruck of infidelity and then just to make sure you are COMPLETELY devestated that smaller minibus comes and runs over you again.

I don't know that this should make me laugh, but it did. Perfect visual. Thanks for that.

The vast majority of it is NBD (no big deal). My gyno said that many people probably even have it, and it clears up before their next exam, and they never test positive even though it's there.

ps - one of my girl friends made her boyfriend get tested for it, and for guys, the test apparently involves internally swabbing of the urethra. She said he walked bowlegged for about a week afterward and told her it was the most painful experience of his life.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 9:26 AM, April 24th (Wednesday)]

I got HPV after my D. I went into the dating world after a 26 year monogamous relationship. I used protection, but it didn't protect from this lovely strain of STD.

I have had 3 paps that were not normal. I have had a biopsy that turned out not to be cancer. I still have to get a pap every 6 months until it clears.

This is why it is SO important to vaccinate our children against this.

Sending strength and peace.

NL

NewLease, you are so right about the vaccination. I wish it had been around when we were younger, though my mom probably would've opted me out, seeing as how you only ever have sex with your spouse and you just get married the one time.

And Amazonia, that sounds like a test I could support. Though overall, it's maddening that it could have already come and gone for the person or persons who enabled me to get it, and now it's just me who's dealing with fallout.

I'm so sorry-- sending you healthy mojo for the best possible test results.

(((BlueWoman)))

somehow i got hpv that cropped up in my late 20s. i had several abnormal paps, a colposcopy and was scheduled for LEEPS. then i moved and switched doctors. my new gyn was more conservative and decided to wait and watch. it cleared up in a year and i've had clear paps ever since...for about 12 years. i tested negative at DD4s birth...and again when i got tested, post dday.

i made XH get dd blood tested since he came home to 8 & 9-month pregnant me after procreating with the thing. thank god.

[This message edited by stretch13 at 3:04 PM, April 24th (Wednesday)]

same thing here-it's listed in the lawsuit against her too