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Since my DDay I have put on 35 lbs. I have been struggling with this in IC and have started reading a book called "When Food Is Love". Am I the only one eating their feelings? Does anyone have any advice on how to get off this crazy train? The affair shot my self esteem and being fat isn't helping.

I lost 30 lbs and then put 15 back on.....

I am an emotional eater and have been trying so hard lately to get off that train. I agree with you.....my self esteem is shot and the extra weight just makes it worse....

As soon as I found out about A I lost over 40 lbs in about 6-8 weeks.

It's been 2 yrs and I gained it all back. I have always been an emotional eater. If I'm under stress over finances, I eat. If I'm really happy but with some underlying issues...I eat.

But when Im heartbroken I Can't eat anything.

I lost about 20 lbs. I think that's how much a soul weighs.

Then over time I found the weight. It was on my ass all the time.

Right afterr Dday I dropped weight down to ~110 on a 5' 5 frame. Since then, I have bounced around and am currently ~ 150! Need to find a happy medium, feel best @~ 125-ish. Almost nothing I own fits, spent my entire adult life other than pregnancy weighing about 125. One of the MANY things I hate about the infidelity roller-coaster ride! All the best Jamie

Right afterr Dday I dropped weight down to ~110 on a 5' 5 frame. Since then, I have bounced around and am currently ~ 150! Need to find a happy medium, feel best @~ 125-ish. Almost nothing I own fits, spent my entire adult life other than pregnancy weighing about 125. One of the MANY things I hate about the infidelity roller-coaster ride! All the best Jamie

Sorry about the double post , my IPhone has a mind of its own!

I lost over 20lbs right after D-Day. I have finally put it back on plus another 10lbs. Now I worry about getting fat....

I lost thirty pounds and kept it off for two years. The last six months I have put fifteen back on and would like to get that off. But I feel much better so I am eating.

Not sure about gaining when you find out. You are comforting yourself with food and I imagine it will be really hard to stop that, just like I couldn't eat even if I wanted to.

Losing weight is really hard even in the best of circumstances. Maybe you could start going to the gym just for some you time. So sorry you are going through this. Worst pain in the world. Love, K

Me me me!!!

I wish I had the infidelity diet (sorry if I'm minimizing the effects) but instead I've gain about 25 lbs - I've battled weight issues for my whole life, but I had lost 50 lbs a year before the A and had kept it off...until Dday. H also gained his weight back (about 35 lbs) during R.

I hate it - feel so fat and it's especially bothersome since cOW has a porn-star body. Why can't this motivate me to lose the weight again!

I completely understand! I had lost over 60 lbs. before dday, and have gained it all back. Plus some more, mostly due to my pregnancy, but I can't get motivated to lose it again now that I have had our son. Eating makes me feel better.

Count me in!! Last year after he left, I lost 30lbs and was training for a triathlon. Since we started dating and subsequently reconciled, I have gained it all back! And my trainer is pissed!

H has gained weight too. I chalk it up to being "in love" again. We cook more big meals than I did when we were separated. I don't want to exercise - I just want to spend time hanging out with him. It's ridiculous!

We've decided to work out together to lose the weight. Hopefully I can do this year's triathlon!

I did. When I discovered WH's EA in Aug. I have gone from a size 10 all the way up to a size 16. I am not sure the amount in pounds that is, because I refuse to look. I never had issues eating when I went through DD2. It was sleeping and going to work with out having a break down. lol

Me :(

I was in a really good place before dday. I'd lost 60lbs and was having a great time. I had made lots of friends thanks to my new found confidence as was actually liking myself for the first time ever.

After dday, I took up smoking (I had quit 3 years earlier) to stop me from eating. I quit again 6 months ago and I have since gained about 30lbs back.

I'm finding it hard as my weight loss is now a trigger. I lost weight, H became insecure and had an A.

I know it wasnt the cause of the A but I can't seem to break the connection. Now I'm scared to lose weight again

Optimistic wife- do it for you! Remember the confidence you felt. What bw doesn't need more of that?

Thinking of you all.

Healthy choices in exercise and diet. One day at a time, just like all this A business.

I am the opposite... when I get stressed I don't want to eat.... and H likes me to be a bit heavier than i am... he tells me constantly I could gain weight and he would like that... I just want to be happy in my own skin... i don't want to have to worry about gaining or losing weight- it should be absolutely irrelevant to R.

Why do we have to feel like our weight defines us? If we weight too much we feel fat and uncomfortable... to little and weak and unloved... it's hard... and it sucks...

I am also eating my grief, which is really bad because I am pregnant and I am afraid I am going to get high blood pressure. I am definitely an emotional eater and every time I get sad about the affair I look for another piece of candy.

I didn't over eat after dday #2 I couldn't. I was a gestational diabetic that was controlled by diet. I even lost 5 lbs. After the birth of our 4th child I gained weight. Not by overeating but by depression and the meds. I was breastfeeding and eating pretty healthy but my body said no. I have gained about 20 pounds I have lost about 13 of those in the last 6 months.

I have been focusing on healthy eating since my H last A. With my depression and genetics weight comes off really slow. Good news is I have seen numbers that count so much more like a blood pressure. I was on the high end of normal with 125/80 now I run around 120/76. Small improvements but and improvement.

[This message edited by Hearthache again at 2:05 PM, May 19th (Sunday)]

Are you on anti-depressants? They make you ear more. I lost 25 pounds on one week when I first found out and then went the other way on anti-depressants.

Only way to balance things has been to truly pay attention to what I'm eating and how often.

After Dday1, I lost almost 15 lbs and it showed since I have a small frame. I couldn't eat or sleep well for 3 months.

After Dday2, I had no fluctuation in my weight. I morbidly thought that the one silver lining was I could get back to my normal weight. I gained almost 20lbs after two rounds of IVF in the last 6 months.

I am wondering if neither losing or gaining weight after this last Dday means the shock of betrayal wears off after the first time.