SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm not sure if this relates to me or not for those who know my story. But watching this brings back enormous mixed emotions and some triggers. I will never know if my exWW's AP was charged, court-martialed or drummed out of the military since he too was a Lt. Colonel. It's a known fact that if it involves a civilian the military doesn't punish that severely. But I was told by his General that I would not be notified of his fate because of the Privacy Act of 1977. The only way anyone would be notified (including his BS) is if he gives permission to release the information. I find that very ironic considering it's my tax money that pays his salary. I don't mean to offend anyone in here who may have people close to them serving, but I don't have much respect for young senior officers anymore, especially West Point graduates. People are people regardless of what your rank, position or employment status in society. Makes me very sad.

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/sex-assault-prevention-officer-arrested-alleged-sex-assault-19121008

[This message edited by SeanFLA at 9:55 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)]

It's pretty shocking how many stories like that are coming to light now.

I believe the military (sorry, I do know there are men and women in the military who are nothing but honorable) is full of rampant infidelity and sexual assaults. It is a dirty little secret.

Sean, I always wonder about the officer that had an affair with your WW, too. I hope he paid a price. I am glad at least he had to pay a price with his BW finding out. (((Sean)))

Yeah you know looking back I don't regret telling his BS or his commanders. For a long while I did worry about a knock at my door one day and him showing up with a gun and killing me for ruining his family and career. But I didn't ruin it, he and my exWW did. I still keep a nine iron by the door.

But there is nothing I enjoy better than seeing people in power (or think they are in power) become train wrecks because they think they can get away with things. Not sure what would be worse...having to stand in front of my betrayed wife while she screamed at me...or standing in front of my General while he rips me a new one and tells me my career is over (I think of Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men" LOL)?

Too bad it's not in Canada...

http://www.jmc-cmj.forces.gc.ca/en/res-dec.page?

The Military is filled with many fine enlisted soldiers and commisioned officers. Many are honorable and steadfast in their convictions and are willing to sacrafice everything for their Country.

People in the Military come from all walks of life and backgrounds, there is no shortage of douchebags. These soldiers that choose to betray their families are also betraying their country. Affairs leave them vulnerable and reduce their ability to focus on their missions. The mere fact that they would betray their family that is standing behind them, worrying about them, and waiting patiently for their safe return is discusting and it reveals a character flaw that puts other soldiers in danger.

It is important to remember that soldiers are a reflection of the society that they came from. It is a vast melting pot of cultures and people and the affair rate is probably similiar to the rate in the civilian population.

I am very proud of our Military, these soldiers endure many discomforts that many non military people could ever imagine. Their families also face hardships unheard of in the civilian population.

The Military Acadamies have produced many more honorable men than dishonorable men. But a good upbringing followed by one of the oldest and most disciplined institutions in the Universe will not correct the douche nozzle gene.

Yep...people are people and everybody regardless of your position have their own agenda. Some agendas are good....some are bad. It's the lesson I've learned the most.

I know your pain. My WS was having an affair with a HR rep for the entire state of Florida with a big company and this is not the 1st "go around" she has had with the male employees. My WS and I use to laugh when he wuld come home from work and tell me stories of her even screwing her own family and hubby over for another upper management employee.

Well I should have know mine was next in line cause he was moved into the same office building as her and it didn't take long before she jumped him too.

It took me an extremely long time to say anything to their HR dept (everyone in Fla knew about her already & company headquarters out of MA). Once my WS was laid off (not for this)and I could not do anything before because he was supporting me and our kids. I did a lot of investigating to find the highest HR person who was not involved with them personally (had already spoke to a DM over Florida stores and he blew it off maybe he was getting some BJ's on the side too??)

I received a letter for my WS telling the Rules and Regulations for Sexual Harassment in the workplace like sextexting on company phones and of course she would include pics of herself with very see thru undies on.

And interfering with someones company time with messaging things not about work. I knew it was my chance and sent an email and immediately they contacted me and we spoke for a long time. They said they would do an investigation I just hope that is true she is long term with the company and making the big bucks now. Would love to see her on her fat ass in the street. Especially since she is sooooo remorseful and tells me to get over it cause she saved him from a life of hell WTF!!

There was no hell in this household (not till the HR hoe came around)

I hope in your case they also follow thru. I, like you kept thinking it was revenge but everyone I speak to says HR screwing the employees Unacceptable (like in your case too!! Sex is more important than protecting our country and leave his pregnant wife alone at home.... LOSER) I guess we change a lot when things like this happens to us I would never in a million years before had the mouth to say anything I would have just swept it under the rug....but when it comes to my hubby and my kids I guess I kick ass

Like I told her Guess you messed with the wrong housewife this time bitch!!!!

Good Luck will follow your story we have very similar D- days!

While the military seems to be in the spot light these days. I dont feel that profession has a higher percentage of offenses. I worked in corporate America for 32 years and have seen my share of adultery and sexual harassment. Early on before laws were enacted to safeguard employees I saw many female subordinates lose their jobs over this. When things changed I also saw many female subordinates who willingly entered into affairs use the sexual harassment laws to get even when their MM left them and went back to their BS. Its a two sided coin on that subject. But I do feel the military has one up on the public jobs where as they can and do prosecute members for adultery. Bottom line is that cheating is not profession specific. Its all over the place.

Thank you for your post HereWeGo62. I'm an Army Captain and can say that the vast majority of us are very much against infidelity unfortunately media choose to portray us in a negative light with a focus on those amongst us that do wrong as opposed to the majority of us who do the right thing.

Dealing with and continuously having to defend ourselves against the media and societies' prejudice can be quite upsetting.

Sean I am sorry for your situation and that reminders of the military trigger you.

I believe the biggest problem when it comes to military, law enforcement, etc., is that many of us automatically give an extra amount of preliminary respect for these occupations---and thus hold them to a higher level than many other careers in life. And I do believe that it is warranted, as they are choosing a life that protects others.

But with this higher respect comes higher responsibility, and more severe criticism/punishment when they err morality. One of the scumbags that was on AFF flirting with my WW was a local police officer. Total douchebag. But for one of his type, I know several other local officers/detectives that are ideal role models. It all comes down to personal character.

Any person in any occupation can/will be who they are. It is just some of these people are expected to carry themselves a little better in the public eye. Through my extremely naïve youth, I used to try to push the position of role model onto those who where in the spotlight, and had earnings in there career to be in a position to help others. Entertainers and professional athletes used to top that list. My train of thought was that with the money and exposure, came a greater responsibility to have a positive impact on developing minds.

And I was mistaken. For the many good, there are the bad that get the attention for all the wrong reasons. And it would really eat at me that these people didn't "get" the responsibility that I had put on them.

But I have come to learn and accept that this is life as we know it. I am not saying that society is disintegrating in front of me...although it does feel that way at times...it is just that a judge with a wayward mindset can cheat as much or as often an anyone else with that same mindset---no matter what career they are in.

[This message edited by jb3199 at 5:43 AM, May 25th (Saturday)]

But there is nothing I enjoy better than seeing people in power (or think they are in power) become train wrecks because they think they can get away with things

Me too.