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And felt the need to tell my WH about it.

If you've read my previous posts, you'll know I'm very close with OW's sister and BIL. They just spent a night over our house last weekend - and WH and OW's sister had a heart to heart about OW. Her sis (my GF) told WH to contact her ASAP if her sister said anything more than "hello" to him at work.

And so WH comes home yesterday and admits that not only did she tell him they've broken up, but that he's been out of the house since the weekend.

I'm not an idiot - she specifically told him because she's still convinced he's leaving me for her. He won't tell me her exact words, but's he's very clear on her motives.

I have been stewing since I woke up today. I want him to call OW's sister and let her know she's back to her old tricks. But (I know, I know) I want to say something to OW now. I've kept my mouth shut all for 7 months now out of respect for my GF, my BFF, and my godson. She's had no consequences - and now she gets rid of the husband she's hated for years and goes back after mine? No, girl, NO. I want to head over to her job and beat her ass... I won't, just sick to death of her getting away with this crap.

As if this weren't enough, her BH, who's both a drug addict and unstable, moved in with his family just a few blocks from where we live. And he may or not be still blaming my WH for his marriage falling apart. He admitted to me months ago that he knows his wife started it, but I have no idea what's going through his head now. I'm seriously hoping he doesn't have any guns...

So yeah, now what? I know the wrong thing to do is contact OW. But until WH can find another job, or OW gets fired, how can she be stopped?

And now I might have to deal with her crazy crackhead husband? WTF did I do to end up here????

Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.

Can you pre-empt the OBS by letting your local police know you're concerned about the safety of your family?

And yeah.....it sounds like OW needs to be TOLD.

Why isn't your WH calling OW's sister like he agreed to?

I would rather HE make that call. But if need be, YOU make that call.

I would not contact OW at all. But letting her sister give it to her is not out of the question in my opinion.

Are you sure your friend is "safe"? She is OW's sister-----and in some cases blood is thicker than water. Can you be sure OW isn't using her sister as a window into your lives? I'm sorry if that sounds cynical.

Itainteasy,

Thanks for your responses. I'm hoping it doesn't come down to having police involved, but if it does, so be it.

I did ask WH to at least text OW's sister today and give her a heads up. He told me he wants to wait till I get home so we can talk to her together. I'm okay with that - as long as we do it tonight. I can't let it go another day at this point.

Do I think my friend, the sister is safe? I do, yes. From what's been said from both my friend and her husband, neither myself nor my husband are discussed when they're together. Neither are particularly proud of OW's actions - especially given they know my WH wasn't the only one she was sexting...

Why isn't your WH telling the OW that that is none of his business and to stop talking to him about her personal life?

Why isn't your WH telling the OW that that is none of his business and to stop talking to him about her personal life?

Good question! That was one of the first things I asked him last night. He told me he just nods and mumbles at her, but let's face it - I'm not there to witness this... He knows he needs to cut her off, but I think he's still chickening out. At least we have MC tomorrow - we'll have lots to discuss...

If I were you, I'd have him call her with you right there and say

"I want no contact with you at all. Please do not seek me out at work, please do not initiate any type of conversation. I am committed to working on my marriage. I want nothing further to do with you. Please respect this."

Then you take the phone and tell her to back off and leave your family alone. If she continues to engage in contact with your husband you will seek a restraining order and have it delivered at work.

She is fishing - hoping to rekindle the affair. Wench.

Stand strong.

He won't tell me her exact words, but's he's very clear on her motives.

Why won't he tell you her words - what/who is he controlling by no being transparent?

I'd have gone a little postal on the information rationing. I'd tell him either open up the book willingly or I would have no choice but to fill in the blanks myself - and that doesn't usually end well.....

I am with justwow. The fact that he won't go into details...oh hell no.

Uh, yea. Why was your WH engaged with OW long enough to find out so much information?

I'm really sorry that you are now worried about retaliation shit from the BH, but that is ALL on your WH.

How do you deal with her until your WH finds another job or she gets fired? YOU can't. It is completely out of your control. Your WH needs to avoid the hell out of her...NOT engage in conversations with her.

Update...

WH called OW's sis last night and we both talked to her. She told him she would tell her to leave him alone, but he needed to tell himself too - which I'd told him he needed to "man up" and do yesterday. He was in full agreement with that.

So, I heard back from both OW's sis and WH that they'd both told OW to stop talking to him period. I managed to keep out of having to be involved, thankfully, since I don't think anything I would have said to her would have been helpful. Not to mention it might have been held against me in a courtroom...

Thanks for all the feedback and insight. Several of you mentioned that I should have insisted on details of exactly what she's been telling him, which is obviously right. I should have been more clear when I wrote that he "wouldn't tell" me the detail, I didn't specifically ask him. I kinda figured we'd discuss that at today's MC session.

Anyway, I feel a little better, and I think WH feels a little better. MC should be interesting.