This Topic is Archived
FightingChance (original poster member #34740) posted at 1:51 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
and I find myself just not liking my WH any longer. I look forward to the nights when he is working and I am home alone. I am more able to say they are "his" kids and his responsibilities. I no longer ask when their appointments are or if they've made arrangements for something.
I've made peace with the fact that I will never be able to trust him. I've made peace with the fact that I will not be able to move past the horrible things that he has done to me. I rarely check the GPS or cell phone anymore. I'm just at that point where I don't really care. Everytime I do, there's a glitch or something that he can't explain. I don't think he's cheating again, but I expect him to and I figure I'll find out sooner or later.
I'm almost at the point where I hate him. I hate the way he talks to the kids, I hate how self-centered he is. I hate that he does what he wants without thought to how it will make me feel. Oh he denies it, but his actions show otherwise. I no longer respond to "love you" with "love you too"...I feel the distance, I guess he does but he doesn't comprehend what it means. Or his ego tells him I'd never leave him.
I'm not in a position to leave yet, but I will be soon and I am honestly looking forward to it.
[This message edited by FightingChance at 7:52 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
D-Day#1 - Dec. 8, 2011 - found the receipt
D-Day#2 - Dec. 28, 2011 - found the phone logs
D-Day#3 - Jan. 6, 2012 - admitted to PA
3 amazing sons - 13DS, 13SS, 11SS
in R
atsenaotie ( member #27650) posted at 2:27 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
I am glad that you are making progress on your healing.
You will move past what has happened in your life. You will not forget it, you may never forgive it, but if you continue as you appear to be you will move past.
LTA FBS
dday 10.5.09
Divorced
Blameitontherain ( member #37476) posted at 2:35 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
It's good you are making a plan. Staying and letting the hatred grow to unhealthy levels isn't good for anyone.
They say when a woman emotionally detaches herself from her spouse, they already reached their limit and are done. They may still be around getting their ducks in a row but done they are.
FightingChance (original poster member #34740) posted at 3:01 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
I would say I am 90% detached. He doesn't notice because has never been emotionally connected to anyone. I am beginning to appreciate the detachment on my side. Makes it a lot easier on me.
D-Day#1 - Dec. 8, 2011 - found the receipt
D-Day#2 - Dec. 28, 2011 - found the phone logs
D-Day#3 - Jan. 6, 2012 - admitted to PA
3 amazing sons - 13DS, 13SS, 11SS
in R
This Topic is Archived
