SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Last January 2016 I made a sport highlight video of our son. Highlight clips from his soccer, football, and basketball. Since he is really good with sports there are tons of highlights. I put together a 7 minute video to music with clips of him scoring goals in soccer, throwing TD passes, rushing for TDs, in defense gettung pick 6s, and scoring in basketball 3 pointers, fastbreak layups ect. It is a great video and my WW sent it to one of the men she was sexting with.

I made that video, I took him to all his practices, worked with him at home, took video and his games and put alot of time and love making his highlight video for the year 2015 and she sends it to another man.

She is back from her run and now that she is off MFP and social media she is not posting her run and is hanging out with me and my son.

...as she should have been doing all along.

So what's the plan? You were told to expect this...the love bombing...the crumbs..the "I will do anything" bullshit.

Are you still proceeding with the divorce?

I would hang onto the thumb drive for a while until she starts the "and that's all I did" routine.

If you want to see if or where her photos are posted use either tinyeye or google images. They search the web for identical photos. It is surprising where pix end up.

Like said before: you're getting the bare minimum here. Until you get remorse, she still believes she didn'the do anything wrong. And it will happen again, she will figure-out how to get back to her dealer.

Well she has already failed your fake guy test.

She speaks so cruelly to you and choose social media and.an AP.over you but if you aren't sure if she is for real right now ask her for the password to her flash drive, or ask her to tell.your grown kids what she has done. You will see pretty quickly if.this is just love bombing and manipulation.

She is back from her run and now that she is off MFP and social media she is not posting her run and is hanging out with me and my son.

That's a good step. But there's plenty still to take. Let's see what the next one is. What is she saying today?

She's shown you who she is when she called you a pussy. The mask is the person you fell in love with. Don't get them confused. She's not confused, or lost, her mask slipped and she let you see who she is at heart. Don't waste one more day with her.

I still have the thumb drive. I researched resetting the password and that would erase the pics. All she has to do is say I cant remember my password and that will be the end of it.

I'm still moving towards D, she needs to hire an attorney this week.

I want it to work out, however you guys are right, she has shown me who she is, and we were supposedly in R while she was making secret plans to meet fake guy for a run.

Then make seeing the thumb drive a condition of R.

Are you considering R?

If so you need to tell her your conditions: NC, No MFP, transparency(what ever your conditions are) and the PW to the thumb drive. Don't tell her you have it.

Right now I'm on the d train. Not sure if she will change enough to reconsider.

She was having skype live video fucking sessions with these guys in our home in our bed. IMO that is same as bringing a guy in here and fucking him.

I thought I was over the betrayal when I filed, I guess not. Still keep getting pissed about it. I woke up back in Dec 2015 around 3am and she was pleasuring herself. I went on and jumped in, but now I realize she was probably sexting while I was sleeping. I wonder how many times she was messaging these men when I was sleeping? I wonder if she told them I was sleeping next to her? I wonder if that made it more exciting for them? I wonder if she took a pic of me sleeping and sent it or a short video of me snoring and sent it? Between Jan thru June she was pretty crazy, she never slept, she was up til 1 2 am and then back up @5am. She only got 4 or so hours of sleep every night.

[This message edited by soulhurt at 9:35 PM, January 8th (Sunday)]

I don't think she talked about you. It don't think she was disparaging you. I don't see an aspect of that in her past behaviors. Her "get over it" nsme-calling was a direct method to manipulate you, but there was no point to tell the other guys.

She just wanted the attention and then she became hyper sexual. In my opinion. Other guys flirted, she reciprocated, then she fished for it and encouraged it. I don't think it was about you and her not bring happy with you, having had serious complaints in the marriage. Situations like that I've seen the husband's weren't disparaged. Unless the other men requested it. But I have seen no evidence of that. I think you would have seen different behaviors to you directly if that had been a regular occurrence.

I found 5 voice recorded message from one of the men. In all 5 he brings me up in during his message. Mostly when he brings me up it is in response to something she tild him, demamding passwords, demanding transparency ect ect. Also he said that the only concern he had about their "littlr plan" to meet at a hotel was that if I found out.

I have a question about getting a timeline from your WS. I see how that can help the BS. I would like to have one even though we are heading towards D. I dont think my WW could make an accurate one, so many different men, so many.sexting conversations. I think a timeline is helpful when it is the more "traditional" type of affair. One AP meeting in person ect.

If she won't give you a password for the thumbdrive, she will never agree to writing down a timeline of actions she said weren't wrong in the first place. You could try, but I guarantee you, it'll be 99.5% lies.

I will say this...I wrote a timeline a year into our R. (My husband didn't require one. I wanted it for myself. He did end up reading it.) Three affairs were online. I still managed to make a timeline. There was a ton of info to put into it, actually.

[This message edited by Aubrie at 5:05 PM, January 9th (Monday)]

I have not asked her for the thumb drive password. Not sure if she knows it is missing from her hiding space.

I went and looked on her Kindle that she keeps on the nightstand next to the bed and she is reading erotic literature similar to fifty shades of grey, which I call fifty shades of garbage.

I guess if she cant sext with men she will just read erotic novels. I think she is addicted.

I found 5 voice recorded message from one of the men. In all 5 he brings me up in during his message. Mostly when he brings me up it is in response to something she tild him, demamding passwords, demanding transparency ect ect. Also he said that the only concern he had about their "littlr plan" to meet at a hotel was that if I found out.

How recent was this? I'm getting a bit confused as things are kinda jumping around. Are you saying that she's still having an affair and conspiring with the OM? (If that's the case, stop dilly-dallying and pull a hard 180 and get talking with that lawyer!)

Those messages were from April 2016 but I didn't know about them until November.

I went and looked on her Kindle that she keeps on the nightstand next to the bed and she is reading erotic literature similar to fifty shades of grey, which I call fifty shades of garbage.

Gently Soul you need to stop focusing on your WW and start focusing on your healing. Her behaviour towards you has been abusive. There is something wrong with her. She needs professional help. You know all these things. You don't need anymore proof.

What do you need to heal? What do you need to move on? Focus on that.

I don't know what I need to heal, filing for D has helped give my manhood a boost.

Last night she wanted to talk, I agreed and found out that she was sexting in our bed next to me while I was asleep. IMO that is bringing men into our martial bed, no different than if a man was physically there. Also she was doing during our ski trip last year, making other men horny while with me and our son on vacation. Then I realized on my birthday she was sexting while making my cake and on the OM's birthday she sent him sexy pics and a bitmojo avatar mojo of her popping out of a birthday cake.

I'm glad I got these details, it helps reinforce my decision to divorce. She is not at all sincerely remorseful, she stills feels somewhat justified in her actions. She still doesn't get it.