I just passed month 7.
A few weeks ago my wife was in a rage and tried to rip my clothes off and force sex on me like her grandfather did to her.
A week later I told her I could not stay in the marriage.
She said she had not been trying in our marriage for the past 7 months because she was sure I would leave. She could not face her abuse knowing I might leave at any time. She started to fight for our marriage at that time. In the past two weeks she has been making progress with her therapist, and has committed to see a psychiatrist. Last Friday she told me, for the first time in her life, that she sees hope for herself. She is scared but trying. That is a big step up from angry and not working on herself or our marriage.
I still have few emotional needs met. We have stopped making love entirely. She is trying to give me kind words and hugs when she can.
We have a long road ahead. I am doing this for my boys (11 and 14) as well as her ... and for me too.
I want my boys to know something (they don't). I want them to know how brave their mother is (but that is her choice). I want them to know I am not crazy but a good man (not sure what they think of me).
I want to tell the other man's wife but have not. On re-reading this forum I am feeling the urge to do so.
I just wanted to post an update for whomever might read this.
I am not sure if it is worth it to fight for a marriage, I know it is not worth it to fight for another person if you lose yourself. But one thing I am damn sure of is that it is worth it to fight for yourself.
Take care of yourself and those you love.
