SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

so sorry dontknowanymore1

he's drunk talking sh*t

you let him know that you'd move on without him and that hurt him --- and that pisses him off -- so he's drunk talking shit to try to hurt you

FTG!

(my wxbf was an asshole who didn't even come clean about his being up to no good... he too, wanted me to 'get over it' and said I was "overreacting")

hi, I so want to believe this, but I also believe, a lot of truth comes out when your drunk (which for him is very often).

He says he didn't know it would hurt me!! and that its my fault as he didn't think I cared!! lol,

if only that was true and then it wouldn't hurt.

But anyway onto doing stuff for me. I've bought myself new underwear, not for him (he wont see it) but to make me feel better, and while im not up to going to hairdressers im looking for a mobile one.

I will do whatever it takes to make me better, just wish hed leave me alone for a bit, every text is like a knife through my heart....again!!!

h, and he keeps using being drunk on that night as excuse, but he wasn't drunk when he was sitting with me on the beach watching kids, while he texted her, or in the woods, just excuses im sick of him!! sorry lol

If there is any hope at all, I don't think it comes from giving in and being nice. My WH even said it in MC, he never has to deal with any consequences for anything he does so there's no motivation to change. I think that's why a lot of guys only change once women no longer care.

THIS! This is exactly where I am as of yesterday. When H told me he wasn't coming to MC(he's never made it) I texted him to not bother coming home. It freaked him out, and he went into hysterical panic mode. See my post about it if you feel like it, but I don't think he ever thought I would divorce him. I didn't when he initially cheated, so why would I now when I'm just finding out that they were emailing. He found out otherwise.

hi. i read your posts. I do not understand how they "love" us so much but still feel they can treat us this way.

he's out again by the way....where? oh, just the pub where she works.

she's welcome to him. I just wish I had family round here.

i'm not excusing anything he says or does while drunk - not at all -- when they're drunk they're a lot looser with letting the words fly - this i know from personal experience -- my wxbf was/is a HUGE drinker and when he was drunk he said the most awful things

and i know what you mean about they're drinking/being drunk not being an excuse for their cheating sneaky ways

exactly what you said - he wasn't drunk the whole time / every time he sneaked around on account of her or lied to me because of her

i'm sorry i know this hurts -- i left mine because of text messages and he begged me to come home and made all kinds of promises - meanwhile he had kept in touch with her the whole time i was gone!

good for you doing things to make yourself feel better

couldn't count on mine to make me feel good - he blew the last chance he'd ever have

hugs to you hon

i didn't have a soul around to help me through this either

best thing i did was leave and go stay with family

got my application in for housing yesterday

2 months since i left --- it gets easier / less painful....

what made/makes the biggest difference was cutting off contact with him

(he can still text me but i just don't answer)

This is going to sound really bad but I hit him today

he stood at my door, saying hit me if you want and I said no, so he kept hitting himself pretty hard, so I fisted him in the face and slammed the door. not productive, but hey ho I feel good lo. just cant wait till I can keep a meal down! punch might have been stronger then!

[This message edited by dontknowanymore1 at 3:53 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)]

I should probably add that before this performance he stated that she was the "Steak" so wtf am I !!

dontknow,

Please please please do yourself a great favor and completely cut this dude off. He's being a manipulative shithead. Hasn't shown anything worth you still giving him any time of day. I'm not sure why you can't block texts? You should have no problem blocking him. After reading everything you would be far better off completely cutting this person off right now. Forget what you thought your knew about him.

I know, I sit and read everyone else's posts and think the same thing, something holds me back I don't know what it is.

I can see I need to stay away, I no he's no good for me, never has been.

doesn't trust me though I've never given him a reason not to, I stayed faithful for 4 years, including the 3 months he was in prison.

it was a very controlling relationship though, he's even in court in a couple of months for smashing my car!

I know your all screaming run , but where to. I tried to move, council wont help, I am sick so cant work and cant save for somewhere else, and the only family I have is a sister 200 miles away, but she is 20 with a 4 year old and a 2 bed flat, so I couldn't move to her!. there's just no getting away, as long as he knows where I am he will continue to grind me down.

but I am determined I will not open the door anymore, I will not reply to texts or emails. I will focus on me.

(again I've blocked his email address, but they still get through, anyone any ideas how to fix this. I use Hotmail?)

Don't know, I'm so sorry for you. You hitting him must have felt good. He asked for it.

I don't have answers other than they are selfish assholes. I know you're reeling but just try to ignore him until you can get an exit strategy and take care of yourself.

Do you have anyone to consult with on your legal options?

i don't think I need to see about legal options (I couldn't afford it anyway)

he's not living here and the only thing that he could claim as his is my car. this would be annoying as we live in a very small town and a car is essential.

I don't think hed get far on this though, as he paid for half the car yes, but he has no licence, no insurance, I can prove I pay all that plus petrol tax etc.

Also the kids are unable to have unsupervised contact with him any way as hes a skitzo (cant spell it lol), so only supervised visits and no chance of custody.