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Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 2:03 AM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
soulhurt,
Ugh, that's just awful.
I'm so sorry.
I echo what others have said that you made the right choice with D.
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
soulhurt (original poster member #52433) posted at 2:14 AM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
Thanks everyone. My best friend has been hearing about my marriage drama since January when I caught her taking nude pics in our bathroom. He is getting burned out. My sister had a stroke in July and doesn't need to feel my stress and pain, and my mom is mentally ill. So I don't really have anyone to unload this on.
Thanks again y'all are really helping get through this.
setecastronomy ( member #14398) posted at 2:21 AM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
So I don't really have anyone to unload this on.
That's why we're here, aina?
Tren0R201 ( member #39633) posted at 7:52 AM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
Someone said it's bait, or what's called a sh*t test.
To be crude, she sees you growing b*lls and not taking her sh*t anymore, so she lobs a little grenade just to gauge your reaction and put you back in your place.
You can expect more after she receives the papers, so by then get your things in order, keep a VAR on you at all times in case she tries to manufacture any funny stuff or does a 180 and becomes the model wife you never knew you had.
Head games. Sh*t tests.
Stay on course!
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 1:26 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
Thanks again y'all are really helping get through this.
That's what we are here for, fellow SI friend. Stay the course, stay strong, lean on us!!
2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
soulhurt (original poster member #52433) posted at 1:51 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
So the last 2 nights I have been sleeping in the guest bedroom. The bed is a queen and good quality so Im comfortable plus my son's room is next to it which is nice. He likes that I'm close to him. This will help not sleeping with her. I'm starting to really dislike her which is not good but also not my fault.
Last night she sent me a friend's request on myfitnesspal. I saw it this morning. Too late the damage is done. She has already pick that fitness site over our marriage. The site where see met the men and was having skype sex and relationships with. She would not give it up for me and she would not even add her own husband as a friend. Talk about making someone feel worthless. Yup she is toxic and I'm making the right decision to end this misery.
numb&dumb ( member #28542) posted at 2:57 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
Keep going. Stand your ground. She is starting to crack. Look up the 180.
Kids, finances and nothing else. You drew your line in the sand. Don't move it now. You will feel better about yourself later.
Is it possible to have her served when you are not around ? or gone on business trip ?
Get ready for desperate manipulations to begin to escalate.
She sounds like she has serious mental health concerns. Get a VAR and keep in on you.
You wouldn't be the first BH to be saved from false charges by a VAR.
[This message edited by numb&dumb at 10:33 AM, December 30th (Friday)]
Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.
Bring it, life. I am ready for you.
northeasternarea ( member #43214) posted at 3:17 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
She can tell that I'm detaching so she said "get over it you big pussy".
This statement doesn't reflect regret, much less remorse. You've got nothing to work with here. I hope your divorce goes smoothly.
The only person you can change is yourself.
wk55hn ( member #44159) posted at 3:44 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
Silence is the best response.
What a classy woman, she exudes class. So gracious.
DeWittle ( member #50857) posted at 3:49 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
You know now how to respond when she blows-up after getting served. Get over it you big p.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 3:58 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
OK Soulhurt brace yourself.
Here come the love bombs. Stick to 180. Get that VAR and keep it on you.
When the love bombs don't work she will go all "copperhead" (mean as a viper) on you. Be ready. When that fails desperation will set in and some really bad decisions will result. Like false DV claims.
(((And strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
wk55hn ( member #44159) posted at 4:43 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
Agree, be prepared for her escalation.
Trying to get around my mind that her solution is not to permanently ban herself from that site and apologize profusely to you for what she has done and do anything possible to make amends and make this right, but rather HER SOLUTION is to ask her husband to be one of her harem of many man-whores on the site. "I have a whole harem of man-whores, 19 of them to be precise, and up until now I have refused you to be allowed to become one of them, but since you are upset, I will now let you be allowed to be one of them, too. You can thank me later after you join. When you sign up, please call yourself Man-Whore #20, that should be your username, so I can remember which one you are."
Josephine01 ( member #38511) posted at 4:58 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
soulhurt,
You are doing the right thing. Good luck. . . Keep posting. The folks on this site are extraordinary and will help you through this.
Huggs
Me, 47 BS
H, 65 WH
2 boys 23 and 18 years old
Married 24 years
Klaatu ( member #55857) posted at 7:17 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
It hurts, it is painful, it is not easy...but, you are doing what you have to do for yourself and your son.
I'm proud of you, soulhurt!
Stay strong.
Me: FWH (70) Her: BW (70) Married 49 yrs, LTA June 1979 thru Jan 1986DDay Jan 1986Long Reconciled, happily married
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:26 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
(((soulhurt))) that is just wrong! Your WW sounds very NPD, not a very empathetic person now is she? Keep hard 180ing her and yes be prepared for the love bombing that is usually how my WH gets me back 
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Sananman ( member #48513) posted at 7:49 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
As others have said be prepared for irrational behavior from your wayward when she gets served. It may not happen, but it always best to prepare for the worst case scenario. Your soon to be ex might be rational about it but from your discription of your situation it sounds like she is more likely to not go that route.
soulhurt (original poster member #52433) posted at 8:41 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016
Wk55hn Thank you for the laugh. I really appreciate all y'all helping me stay the course and making me laugh at the same time. I'm keeping a VAR on me at all times and dont worry she will not be able to get me upset. I just laugh and blow her off right now.
My poor son, but his life will be better if I divorce his mom. Toxic marriage and constant fighting over infidelity is not a good environment to raise a child.
He has overheard the content of our arguments he asked her why is she cheating on her phone with men. That really pissed off my WW and she tried to blame me that he knows. That is bullshit the infidelity qas brought in our home by her not me, this is her fault 100%.
Girly00 ( member #56478) posted at 11:56 AM on Saturday, December 31st, 2016
Soulhurt, I'm really sorry. But I guess after the years being married to your WW, she just showed you 'who' she is. Don't feel sad about divorcing her. She'll soon get what she deserves, for all the hurt she caused.
Good luck 🍀
Me: BW 27y on Dday 2013
Him: WH 30y on Dday 2013
No R
Divorced
"You're gonna be happy," said life,
"but first I'll make you strong."
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 12:05 PM on Saturday, December 31st, 2016
Some great replies on this thread, Soulhurt. :)
soulhurt (original poster member #52433) posted at 1:36 PM on Saturday, December 31st, 2016
I'm sleeping in the guest room and when I woke up this morning my WW was in bed with me crying. She said, "I was up all night crying because I feel you are on the verge of leaving me".
That started a conversation that I'll post later today after she leaves to go run. I don't know what is real anymore. I know the pain I feel is real.
[This message edited by soulhurt at 7:37 AM, December 31st (Saturday)]
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