SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Ahhhhh, I see.

I was confused because, like probably millions of women before me, I've managed to get and stay fit without the use of an app.....or other people giving me kudos I know---who'd have thought it's possible???

Soulhurt, I'm not trying to make light of your situation. I did just want to verify that this bizarre overreaction of hers really is just about something as ridiculous as an APP ffs.

[This message edited by Darkness Falls at 5:10 PM, January 4th (Wednesday)]

Darkness Falls...you make me smile. Soulhurt is a good man and I'll bet money he will see the humor and truth in your comments, also.

Soulhurt, so how did it go today?

I'm so sorry. If my WH said that to me, I would be filing for D right now. I think you are doing the right thing. Hang in there!

Sorry Soulhurt. I'm sure today was rough.

Did you ever tell her you were fake guy? I think you should not tell her...that way if you are ever tempted to believe she has changed you can still test her before calling off D.

Holy crap. Shes over the top. Get a VAR. Keep it on you record every interaction. She is going to become desperate. Desperate people make bad and crazy decisions. Like accusing their spouse of abuse.

Support SH Support!

"Get over it, you pussy!". You are a much BIGGER man than me Brother! Good for you for handling this with dignity, not being petty, good for you.

Possessed back in June? What about Fake Guy? You did sexed her she NEVER told FG that was inappropriate, rather she made plans to meet "him". Let her get her demons straight.

I've wanted to say this you for this a long time and it kind of IDs me but here goes. I've run 1200+ miles the last 6 or 7 years, I have 19.4 miles this year and only run twice. I'd never heard of MFP till you mentioned it and my first impression and my opinion of it is it's a pseudo-hook-up site. The only reason your WW needed MFP is for her cackle of admirers. Maybe Garmin Connect, she could have done the same exact thing without all the ego-kibles. You made the right decision and gave her every opportunity to change. She choose MFP and brought a knife to a gun fight.

MFP is not an app for her. MFP is the company who manufactures her drugs. MFP is the matchmaker who refers her to dealers who have drugs to sell. If she loses the app, where will she get the drugs she needs?

That is a lie.

I wish that was true.

Then you would have a chance to save the marriage.

I think she always was selfish, this is just a different venue.

Seriously you cant make this shit up...

A free app vs. My marriage/family/life

What in the hell do you say to yourself to pic an app over your LIFE?!

Had a nice evening with my son, we had dinner and he had fun at practice. He is sleeping Ww is out running. Again I made dinner, had him do his homework, took him to soccer, bathed him and read to him at bedtime. Captain Underpants his favorite.

WW has been hooked on forums and social media for years. When we were trying to get pregnant, 1st one was a miscarriage, 2nd was a success. 10 pound healthy baby boy. She spent a lot time on pregnancy forums, and baby forums. After our son was born she started spending a lot of time on trip adviser. She would write reviews, detailed reviews of our travels. People would ask her questions all the time on that site about places we went, ski resorts, Yellowstone, ect ect. She was ranked a super user. LOL Because she wrote so many reviews and gave tips.

November 2015 she decide to exercise, so she started working out at home to exercise videos but she wasn't losing weight. A co-worker told her she should count calories and join myfitnesspal. So she did, started counting calories and working out. The weight came off, she was always on the site, adding new friends. She then started going into the forums on myfitnesspal, fun and games, chit chat. This is where the flirting goes on, threads are like "would you kiss the person above you" "would you date the person above" "what would you do to the person above you if you were locked in a closet". Stupid shit like that. So she would flirt with guys and before you know it she is getting PM's from guys. She talked back and forth and some started asking her if she had KIK and Skype so she put those apps on her phone and started sexting by mid December 2015.

I found out in January she was taking nude pics, and then she admitted to the sexting early Feb. We went to MC in March. Our counselor was horrible. I tried to tell the counselor she is not using MFP for support she is using it to meet men and she is sexting, Skype sex, ect ect. This counselor had the look of a deer in headlights. The counselor was even siding with my WW that she needs MFP for support in fitness. UGH!!! The counselor also agreed that I needed to behave and not threaten my wife with divorce and go 5 days being nice to her and then I could be added as her friend on MFP. I jumped up and said, "what the fuck is going on, really, I have to jump through hoops to be allowed as a friend on the site my wife is cheating on me at!!!

Anyway, I have to give my WW credit, she has dropped from 162 down to 125 and in Nov 2015 she couldn't run a mile and now she has ran 2 HM and about to run a full marathon in Feb. She thinks she is some sort of rockstar on MFP. She logs all her food and her runs and her friends on there give her likes. Some have been following her since she started. She is totally hooked on that site. She will have tremendous withdrawal if I pull the plug on it, she needs to do it herself. I already now she loves that site and those "friends" more than me and our marriage. She is in the running forums giving people advice, she thinks she is a fitness badass. She posts a monthly running report, all her times, her awards, and loves the attention from the people on that site.

So that is what I'm up against, and I'm sick of competing with that site.

Oh ((Soulhurt))

This suuuuuuure IS who she is now. We all went through this. I am an old timer on here, visiting back after 5 years. I let go of my jack-wagon of a gaslighter and I am so grateful!!!! You can be too!

Document document document. All the time you spend with child care and maintenance of the home. Although IMO, that is win-win for you.

Losing nearly 40 lbs is significant and she has probably educated herself enough to know that MFP and counting calories HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!! Well maybe the CC to a small degree. Not to start a debate on the physiology of weight loss but the exercising, not the socializing caused the weight loss. Not to mention as a married lady she should have had the commonsense to stay away from those threads. She difinately demonstrated the slippery slope, hell, she slide right the F down that one. As stated above: it's an addiction and MFP connects your WW with her dealers. So don't be to quick to give her credit.

AND WHO THE HELL PICKS A WEBSITE OVER HER HUSBAND! Twilight Zone. To be honest, you run so you probably get that it develops mental strength, just shows in the wrong hands...

[This message edited by DeWittle at 11:39 PM, January 4th (Wednesday)]

I like the drug addiction analogy.

No, she doesn't need MFP anymore to maintain her weight or physical fitness. It may have been helpful at the very outset, but it's completely unnecessary now. This is her drug, this validation from other men, plain and simple. And you are looking to take her drugs away. A heroin addict will choose the drug over life and that's what she's doing. I have a friend whose younger brother went through rehab and wrote a "Dear Heroin" letter stating how he chooses his wife and two kids over the drug. Two weeks letter he OD'ed on heroin and died.

Your wife needs major counseling to get her off that need for validation from other men and it's now, when she's hitting rock bottom by being served, that she just may start realizing that there's something wrong with her. But my guess is that she still won't give it up.

I am so sorry, soulhurt. Stay strong.

I don't think her addiction is limited to validation from men, but also a sexual addiction.

In March my son and I were driving to soccer practice, WW was driving home from work. She called was nice said, "I love you" asked how my day was and our son's day at school ect. When she came home she went straight to our bathroom, took off her dress and sat down on the bathroom floor, pulled up something on her phone then pleasured herself while looking at it. She didn't check the mail, get something to drink, let the dog out, no, straight in the door to the bathroom off with the clothes and did that. She just couldn't wait to do it. Don't ask me how I know this, it is not one of my finest moments.

She told me last month when she started being somewhat honest about everything, that was she was looking at wasn't images or video sexting, it was a sex text from one of the guys, a sex story, or erotic story about them on vacation together.

Back late Feb early March when I started digging, I found out about the KIK account. I never knew what KIK was, I saw the email and googled KIK. Anyway that was on her Kindle and her phone. I checked the Kindle search history and she was reading erotic literature. Lots of it, "group sex". I didn't know this about my wife. I never thought she would sext with men, send nudes, phone sex, and Skype sex.

Also on that Kindle I found 3 old sexy pics from January 2015. I wonder who she sent those to? That was a year before all this other stuff happened. Maybe she has been sexting on KIK for awhile, a year before MFP?? The pics were not nudes, but they were sexy pics, hair over one eye, in a sexy nightgown with some cleavage showing.

Anyway I have a lot details, too many to write out. Need to focus on work. Thanks everyone for helping me. I'm going to stay the course.

It's not a sex addiction, its an addiction to the attention. Sex is just a way to get the attention.

Her jacking off to the sext was because she was turned on by the attention.

All cheaters love their ego kibbles.

NB: I believe that sex addiction is overblown. If she was, she would have just jacked off in the car - message or no.

Yeah Worndown, you are probably right. But man that was the 1st thing she did when she hit the door. She knew that was on her phone and she came right in off with the clothes and had fun with it. No checking the mail, no going pee, no letting the dog, well she did let something out and it wasn't the dog.

Anyway it all is mute now, I'm full speed on the D train, riding shotgun, gathering docs for my attorney.

What your WW like today, SH? Is she still raging?

Off and on raging. She says I'm trying to take her son away from her. I've been the primary care giver, I telecommute (work from home) so I have been doing everything. Dinners, homework, to and from school, and sports practices.

Also she doesn't want the infidelity to come out in court and she doesn't want our family to know. She doesn't want our grown kids to know, only my grown son knows, our grown daughters, her step-daughters don't know.

She doesn't want to be publicly humiliated, that is her biggest fear. When the OBS that contacted me in July threatened to out her to her employer because she was sexting that lady's husband during working hours from the office. My WW even says in the message she is at work while sexting. That fear of being outed made her stop, she realized how dangerous it was to send out nude pics, you have no control of who gets them after you hit the send button.

I still don't think she gets it soulhurt. Everything you mentioned in there is about her or how it affects her. Nothing about you or your family. And that's pretty much been the story the whole time.

Keep up with the focus on yourself and being such an amazing dad. Focus on the healthy relationships in your life.

she has been sending pictures over the internet to lots of guys, they are out there somewhere. it's not the classiest group of people.

Also she doesn't want the infidelity to come out in court and she doesn't want our family to know. She doesn't want our grown kids to know

She doesn't want to be publicly humiliated, that is her biggest fear.

Sounds like a lot of me,me me. Sounds like she is not thinking of you at all. Just her reputation. Watch out. She is on cover her ass mode.

So what does she want to tell the kids about the divorce? You guys just "grew apart" or some other bullshit?

Don't get her fired before the D is final. But, IMO, she will spin you as the bad guy to the family and kids to put herself in the best light. They should at least know that she engaged in inappropriate behavior with other men.

And honestly...she told you to get over it and basically called you a pussy. To hell with what She Wants.