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I am just curious?? how many of you think their wives or husbands if not gotten caught would have taken it to the grave..I mean there cheating or affairs.. I know mine only told when his old boss rated him out.. I do believe if he ever would have it's only out of fear of someone else telling me..what do you all think??

I think most of them would. If they knew they would never be found out and could go on living like nothing ever happened, I think they would.

The first time I was cheated on I said to him "when were you going to tell me?" and he said "probably never."

I know my STBXH would have. He still says it never happened yet he has a baby with one of the OW.

I think he would have tried, and failed.

Just living w/ the lie that 1A was an EA instead of the PA it was tore us apart and weighed down on WH for years. You can never let a single thing slip. Hell, I'm surprised he ever had a drink, I would have been afraid of an unguarded word in his shoes.

Based on how the lies of EA vs. PA weighed on him, I think hiding 2A all together would have torn him apart...at the very least torn us apart, it nearly did anyhow.

Mine tried. She even confessed to a priest who told her not to tell me as no good could come from it. She went on to have four more A's

I'm certain my wife would never have told-I'm still in the dark about what REALLY went on-she will prolly never come clean.

I know for an absolute fact FWW planned to take it to the grave with her. She admitted as much. But then again, my DDay wasn't until 12 years after her last little fling, so I'm sure she thought it was dead and buried, never to see the light of day. Unfortunately for her, some secrets are just too big to keep.

My FWS told me right after D-day that he was going to tell me when Christmas was over and the OW had moved out of the country. I know him pretty well after 20 years of marriage and he would NEVER have "man-upped" to his affair. He can hardly talk about it now after 1 1/2 yrs. out.

That is something I have been trying to get out of my husband since I found out. His affair lasted 3 years, and only ended when I found out on my own.

I know my WH would never have told me. In fact those were his words.

WH fully planned on it, but that single lie tore us apart. He mellowed out and treated me better on the outside but couldn't allow himself to fully open up to me. It also made him continue to lie in every aspect of his life. Now, 13 years of my life seem like one big lie! It would have been way better if I had known back then. I think the lie is that hardest part to endure.

Mine would have for sure. She has this way about her that she can talk herself into believing her own lies. Even after I caught her and OM together she still denied. He was only a friend dont you know. I am sure there have been others as her behaviors over the years point to it. But she will never admit anything. Even with concrete proof she will still try to deny. Its very scary.

Oh yea!!!! He never ever would have told me...ever!!!

Mine would have.

My FWH said he would have. He didn't tell me about the other EA until I discovered the PA.

Mine would have if I had not started searching and came up with the evidence.

He told me, "I thought you'd never find out."

YUP.... when i asked my WH how he could of did this.. his answer was... "i thought you'd never find out... " :(

In fact, those were his words and his plan. And, I never thought you'd find out. I did; 30 years later, when my daughter told me. Best laid plans!

My STBXH was sure going to. He flat out told me that he was going to let it die out, and then continue our life as normal until another A possibly happened on down the road.

Considering that he had a make out session with our kids' friends' mom two years ago and never told me about that until D-day, I'd believe it.

I'm sure there are many that have been caught that will still deny it to the grave as well.