SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

YAY for you stroppy!

You are right you are doing everything right and things will be OK!

Congrats on making all the right decisions, keep us posted please

Ron

my wife met her OM at one of those cnoferences, you know the ones where everyone gets plastered for a few days w/o their spouses.

Stroppy!! I am so proud of you for speaking up for truth and for yourself. Keep us posted what happens at home and at work.

Have a good weekend.

[This message edited by beach at 7:29 PM, May 9th (Friday)]

Well BS here and aside from the whole BS,WS,OW,OM, and all the other acronyms, as my "handle" describes me, I'm of the bra-burning generation & this is exactly why the harrassment laws came about.

The tales I could tell of what I had to deal with as a youngun in the workplace decades ago, you'd never believe men in particular could get away with such behaviors. Arrgh I'm having flashbacks & I didn't even do drugs back then

You know this might be a reason he no longer works in the same location anymore too. Consider it a sign. Either the company will take you seriously & pay attention to you or it is truly time to move on! Have a great weekend, you did well!

Stroppy- Ive come to realize its all in perception. That and everyones boundries are fussy. I never thought it was the case... cheaters were awful and rare... people stayed married because they loved each other, anything could be worked through...

What im finding... a coworker who married his wife after stealing her away from her former husband(because he didnt treat her right) is now being cheated on. Diff coworker who left his wife for someone else because she was controlling ("At least I told her I did it and I was leaving") got cheated on 7 yrs later. (His complaints run from how can she do this to our kids, to she didnt respect me and we always argued about what she wore.

Even my sons cubmaster.. cheated on his wife after she had an affair... he has moved in w/ GF because his affair resulted in a baby. I even had a mgr ask me where he could take a girl, after innocently answearing his Q, he said that he didnt even know anyone to take... where would he find one. My whole attitide changed....are you looking for date advice or a hookup? So I told him I couldnt help him anymore.

I think you handled it very well indeed. Esp by telling him you were offended... blunt and to the point... good for you. (And much better then I could do..) Remember you can controlle you and only you... others be dambed.

[This message edited by Wisforwayward at 6:10 AM, May 11th (Sunday)]

Stroppy - so sorry you found yourself in this situation and I´m very proud of you for your action in the aftermath :-)

Just some observations ...

First, I KNOW you did absoulutly nothing to warrant Steve´s behaviour and I would say he breached your trust there. But go over this again in your head. You didint send any signs, but did he? I know my problem was that I didnt even realize when men would send me signals and would just think they were being friendly. Ofcourse most of them were, but you get my drift here. It is sort of like if you want to avoid being hit by a car, you need to tend to your driving but you must have an eye on others too!

Second, I think you should really look hard into why you didn´t tell your husband the minute you got back home. You have discussed legal action and trusted the people on this site, someone from your company BEFORE him. Think about that. I ofcourse dont know your situation, but this would not work in my R.

I hope I dont offend you, I just think we all can learn from your expirence here so thank you for sharing!

Good morning everyone. Thanks for all your support and insight.

Well, I did tell my husband as soon as I got home on Friday. His response was "What an asshole," which he said in somewhat of an off-handed nonchalant way.

Then I told him that I reported Steve to HR, and my husband couldn't comprehend that - he thought I was making too much of this - I should have just ignored the guy (which I am). Honestly, that part doesn't surprise me - my husband, God bless him, doesn't get fired up very often. Though I worried that telling him about this would mean he thought I was inclined to have an A again, it was pretty clear to me that thought didn't even cross his mind.

I have not called HR this morning to follow up but I plan to.

You know, I spent all weekend sick about this. I'm not understanding why this makes me feel so horrible? I mean, I am taking it very personally instead of just chalking it up to Steve being a creep.

Fallen, I think I spent alot of time doing what you said - reliving my convos with Steve to look for "clues" that I missed. But I'm not sure what good that does me except to make me more aware going forward. Maybe I am thick, but I can't find anything?! Also, as to why I didn't tell my husband on Thursday night, I didn't want to wake him. And Friday morning, he left before I woke, and I can't talk to him during the day due to his line of work. I guess that's a weak excuse. Truth was, I was still reeling and sick about it when I got home on Thursday night, and I just wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

Anyway, I might be feeling worse now than I was on Friday, but I will get through.

What a pig pig pig..nothing surprises me these days..