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Hurtnhumiliated (original poster member #19412) posted at 9:52 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2008
The affair is over...to my knowledge. She is home every night...doing everything she should be doing (except writing NC letter that I asked for). Changed here cell #, leaves it on when she is home, tells me where she is at all times, saying nice things, etc... She seems to be over the "you weren't paying enough attention" thing now (at least she is telling me that's not the real reason now). she says she doesn't know why she did it, and that OM is never going to be a part of her life again. The issue (with her anyway) is that I can't quite get my head around "R" yet.....and, the big reason is.....HER JOB!!!!!! Does she quit her job just to find out that I can't R with her? That's her issue.
Me - BS 33 years old
Her - I can't believe it, but she's my STBXWW 34 years old (sunnydaysahead?)
DDAY #1 March 30, 2008 (Caught her...she admitted to one sexual encounter)
DDAY #2 May 28, 2008 (OM told me there were many sexual encounte
weddingshock ( member #18839) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2008
If she quits and you decide not to reconcile at least she knows she tried. She can't blame you for anything at this point because what she did was one of the lowest things you can do...that's how I saw it in my relationship. They deserve whatever they got coming to them
Hurtnhumiliated (original poster member #19412) posted at 10:14 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2008
I know. The fact that she is still in my life after the biggest (and only) ground rule I ever set for her was lined up and demolished should tell her enough about how hard I'm trying. That's a pretty drastic measure I am taking. Isn't it enough for her to realize that she now has to take some drastic measures?
Me - BS 33 years old
Her - I can't believe it, but she's my STBXWW 34 years old (sunnydaysahead?)
DDAY #1 March 30, 2008 (Caught her...she admitted to one sexual encounter)
DDAY #2 May 28, 2008 (OM told me there were many sexual encounte
weddingshock ( member #18839) posted at 10:22 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2008
I feel that way too....I could put up with any crap but being unfaithful really sucks. All the other nonsense seems trivial after being cheated on.
craig2001 ( member #55) posted at 11:44 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2008
Doesnt your wife feel funny working there, do other co-workers know what happened.
If she isnt totally honest with you, meaning that she can now answer all of your questions, than she is ready to R, if she is willing to quit that job, then she should.
The one thing that helped me forgive was to actually understand how she felt and why she did these things.
My wife was good at finally explaining that and it had to do with childhood stuff.
A lot of work goes into R.
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