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So I called my WS today at work and he was crying when he started talking to me telling me he can't believe that he did this to me or our lives and that he was such an idiot. Then I get this e-mail message from explaining how remorseful he is. Stupid me, I go into an e-mail that he sent to the girl he had an affiar with (physical but non sexual)(he had an affair with 2 women. Anhow, he told me that he was playing out a fantasy and meant nothing he said to these women. SO of course, I am wondering if what he issaying/writing to me now is also a lie and game. This is an awful feeling

BTW the e-mail I went into was not recent. It was one that he sent 2 years ago. I know I should not revisit these e-mails but it is so hard not to

Your d-day is very recent. Your mind is going to be all over the place for quite some time.

He may truly be remorseful, but until you see action repeated over and over, it's too soon to really tell.

Don't be too quick to forgive. Trust can be rebuilt, but it takes time.

What is he doing to help you heal? Is he being transparent? Is he answering questions you have? Is he fully accountable for his time and who he is with?

He is being totally transparent. Answered all my questions that I have and offered his passwords, calls me from a landline wherever he is (without me asking). What I want is this behaviour to continue.

It's hard not to draw parallels.

The only way you will be able to trust that this is the true him is time. If he shows he's invested in healing you and the M, over time more words will ring true.

Is he digging out what allowed him to go to those unhealthy lengths for validation?