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makeitbereal (original poster member #27711) posted at 12:32 PM on Friday, March 12th, 2010
Bad dreams all night last night...woke at 2am,3:30, and finally got up at 4:30...work should be interesting today...
had dreams about my babies..was back in our old wood house, Me and my H was laying in our bed and wind was blowing hard thru the window sheers. It smell so fresh.. My son was in a diaper running in and out of the room, my daughter had her little pink Aladdin nightgown on. It was all so good. I can still smell how sweet my babies smelled, like innocence. That was when life was good. I so very much want to go back to those days.
I feel so stupid cause I cant quit crying...I think I might go crazy...it would be easier.
Me 46
H 48
Great kids 19 & 24
married 26yrs
together 31yrs
life changed april '09
__________________________________
Nuptial love makes mankind; friendly love perfects it; but wanton love corrupts and debases it.
Francis Bacon
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 12:39 PM on Friday, March 12th, 2010
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
shatter-ed ( member #27159) posted at 12:48 PM on Friday, March 12th, 2010
I know how you feel. I was having a bad day too. Fought it off really hard yesterday(9 months since DDay) but should have just let the sadness and anger come because by 4am I was going out of my mind with the mind movies.
Cried, then as usual put on my 'normal' face for kids and took DD to school. Had meeting and shopping to do, then while driving, again too much time to think and the tears kept coming, again( so dangerous, surprised I haven't had an accident yet the amount of times I do that) . Then I saw a little toddler playing in his garden with his parents and that was it,hysterical crying, I wanted those days back, when times were happy and my H hadn't shattered my world.
So i've come straight indoors and on here. It so helps to have an outlet to people who understand, I am just so sorry any of us have to be here. 
BS (me)
WH
3 amazing kids.
Separated Dec 2016
DDay - 06/11/09 MOW desperate fugly neighbor
justsoshocked ( member #24980) posted at 4:03 PM on Friday, March 12th, 2010
big hugs to you guys....I know how you feel...
Me, 42 BW
Him, 39, FWH
D-day: 4th of July 2009.
Three kids, 2,5,and 7
Still in R...so far, so good.
Living my life...loving my kids....even enjoying my M again...:)
SummerBlues ( member #25626) posted at 4:23 PM on Friday, March 12th, 2010
I also long for the days of happiness and safety. I never knew what true fear was until now.
"Inactive infidelity: It’s where he might be committed to not seeing OW but he has not committed to not being in the affair." Bigger
sage2004 ( member #27597) posted at 4:34 PM on Friday, March 12th, 2010
My 11pm bedtime turned into a 6am bedtime. I know exactly how you feel, now I'm trying to piece together my work day, not sure how to do it. I wish we had body casts for this pain while we heal so everyone around us would look at us and think, 'wow, it must be hard for them to eat, sleep, drive, go to the bathroom.... with all that pain they are in.' Hang in there.
BS ME (38)
WH (48)
09/05/2014 DIVORCED!!!!
WH had 2 affairs in first year of marriage
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