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I am speaking for woman right now, there use to be a bond for MOST woman that you never hurt another woman, it was our sisterhood, no matter the color or whatever you were, if we saw you hurting our hearts go out to you and you try to help, if we see your child lost or hurt we help to find the mommy or daddy, or we bandage up the wound if we can, we hurt when others are hurting, we love family, we love life, there would most likely be no hatered if woman were in charged and set the rules.

Today, I see more and more ROUGH, INDIGNIT, SELFISH, TRIFFLING, woman then I have ever seen. It is sad for me that my dd has to be amoung this and watch her back, I always taught my kids about being kind, respectful, gracious, kind heated and humble.

Now it seems the sisterhood is pretty much gone. And that makes me sad.

I HATE the OW for their part in this towards another woman and her kids.

I've noticed this too. It's now every woman for herself.

It is sad because we should still stick together.

Don't mean any disrespect to anyone here, but I think we lost it when we started working outside the home. SAHM's used to be able to call up their BFF from school & shed be in the same sitch. They'd visit with each other, help each other with chores, menus, etc.

We've lost that.

Most SAHM's I know now, even myself, are cut off from the world & sometimes looked down upon for putting our kids first.

But... I think a lot of us SI'ers still have a breath of that sisterhood left in us.

We talked about this at a recent PTA training I was at.

Women...are AWFUL to one another.

They are terrible. They will undermine, attack, assault, backstab, talk behind your back, etc.

What breaks my heart most is when I see on here stories about one person's BEST FRIEND or SISTER being the OW

It's sad. It really is. There is no sisterhood. I discovered that in high school, which is why my best friends were always guys

Yes, you are right.

It just makes me sick.

We woman are not ment to be this way to another.

“There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."

~Madeleine Albright

I don't get it, and as a woman in a largely male profession I have always made a point of trying to help, and certainly not harm, other women. With a few exceptions (MOW being one of them) I have been lucky to have women in my life who felt the same.

It is pure selfishness.

I think that what shocked me the most about the OW was what we had in common: she is a SAHM with two kids. I thought, how do you do this to your kids? How do you file them away in a little compartment in your brain while you meet a strange man that you met on the internet and have unprotected sex with him? My STBX could have been a psycho who, at the very least, could have given her an STD, and at the worst, could have harmed or killed her! I couldn't relate to that at all-- my instinct is to protect my children, not expose them to potential harm or the loss of their mother because I engaged in risky, thoughtless behavior.

I think that many people these days have very little respect for themselves. How else could you enter into a relationship when one or the both of you are already committed? Our whole "instant gratification" culture doesn't help, either, and infidelity is romanticized WAY too much in the media. The recent Grey's Anatomy episodes that dealt with an infidelity storyline was one of the few that I have seen in recent memory that seemed to show the genuine pain and confusion that cheating causes in a relationship. Otherwise, cheaters are often portrayed sympathetically-- that poor girl! She's stuck with such an awful spouse. She clearly deserves to be with someone so much nicer, like her affair partner. Never mind what the betrayed husband feels-- he was so rotten, he deserved to be cheated on, right?

Anyway, there is a sisterhood here, and I'd like to think that my few close female friends would never cheat on their Hs or with someone else's H. They were all completely disgusted when they found out about STBX, and none of them want anything to do with him. We're here-- we just don't have t-shirts and local support groups!

You know i was talking to my sis(quietstrom) and she was telling me how her grandma would always say, woman stick together, there may be one or two hussy's but mainly we look at them bad. And it was true, because I remember my great grandma told me that her wh cheated on her all the time, and all the woman would gather and they (hussy's) were the outcast and she always told me woman don't act like that.

There is a sisterhood here, I know that, and there is a sisterhood with in groups it is like a unknown law, and you can almost tell the ones you can trust and the ones that are out for themselves.

I also feel that these days, some woman want to be hard, cold, and players like some men, they think it is cool. All self respect has gone down the gutter, and you are all right about what you said also, I am sorry for my kids and grandkids.

I'm so with you all on this.

The OW in my case is divorced (long ago) and does this all the time (yeah, my WH is an idiot). She even told him about her other affairs. The wife didn't understand him. He needed someone to talk to and she was a good listener. She has no respect for the men she's involved with OR their wives.

That said, however, she also has ZERO respect for herself. She often complained via email of low self-esteem, duh. She constantly posts FB stuff about feminism and her regard for strong independent women with no clue about how pathetic that is.

Bottom line, she gets a fleeting sense of (fake) value when she feels that men are choosing her over their wives. If she wasn't such an F-ing whore, one might feel almost sorry for someone like that. Almost.

I'll take self-respect and my relationships with my true women friends any day of the week to that.

I agree with you. No sisterhood. I am also seeing a lot of man child out there too. They don't want adult responsibility or obligations. They are all just plain selfish and self absorbed people.

I don't know about this...I think you are mostly right, but...

SI women feel pretty much like a sisterhood, right?

In my life, I've never been able to get along with most other women. They've always been back biting and trifling. The difference is, deceitful women will pretend to be honest and trustworthy, then gossip about you behind your back. I have always been honest and straightforward and other women don't seem to like those qualities very much. I don't know who these sisterhood women are but I've only ever experienced that with my actual sister...

The fact is, ALL people justify bad behavior and once the justifying starts, it doesn't really matter who gets hurt because the person doing the justifying has already rationalized why those people's feelings don't matter. Women or men...justifying works the same.

For me, it's much more upsetting that the man I put all my trust in betrayed me than finding out the OW wasn't part of a sisterhood I knew never existed anyway.

We are a sisterhood here on SI.

And I will tell you what if I ever caught your OW in person I would slap the shit out of her, tell her about herself, and say it was for my sister and leave... lol.

And if your wh came on to me, he may get spit in his face and told to go home.

I am sorry for those who never known about a sisterhood, what it is, is that woman are suppose to stick together when it comes to abuse, cheating, a hurting soul, look out for one another. I am sorry for the ones who never seen it.

There are alot of woman that don't believe in this but I am telling you it is there or was I should say.

We as woman are not suppose to allow a man (in this situation) to be with us if they are married or committed. We are to say NO. Yes, it is on the wh also I am just stating a fact that woman should not be hurting another woman or kids.

Maybe I am not explaining this correctly in what I mean.

For me right and wrong is right and wrong. You don't cheat on your spouse because you promised not to. Youdon't sleep with other people's spouses because you know they promised not to and you don't help people break promises and hurt others. Male or female, cheating is wrong and if everyone followed the golden rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you) it would be a better world full of happier people regardless of sex. I just don't subscribe to one group not doing it by virtue of their sex. All people should have each other's back. Everyone on this board should be outraged, not just the women.

Sadly, our outrage is meaningless. Affairs will keep happening and in six months or a year another woman will post about the sisterhood that used to exist. I think it's been about a year since the last time. But my mothers' friends were backstabbing bitches just like she was, and her mothers' before her. And my father and his friends were cheating narcissists but, hey, they bragged about it so that's honest. And, yep, his father, too. So if a sisterhood existed, it may only have been in your neck of the woods. In my woods, it was every man for himself...

I agree with you on all people should have one anothers back, I was just speaking about woman in general if you read the first thread.

I am sorry you feel the way you do. And I did not mean to offend you. I was just speaking my own mind, which I have a right to do. And I do feel that woman need to stick together, no matter what part of the neck of the woods you come from. I am sorry that I angered you , I am sick and tried of woman treating other woman like shit! I am also sick of spouses treating spouses like shit! But this thread was actually about the OW's as woman also and doing what they have done or do that was all. Sorry if I upset you it was not intended for that, it was just a way of stating I wish woman stuck together ALL of us!

[This message edited by Faithful w/Love at 4:14 PM, May 16th (Wednesday)]

And I will tell you what if I ever caught your OW in person I would slap the shit out of her, tell her about herself, and say it was for my sister and leave... lol.

Can I buy you a plane ticket?

I guess I'm fortunate. I have very, very dear girlfriends and we DO share a sisterhood. We have brought meals to one who was recovering from her double mastectomy and held her when she cried because she was ashamed of her body. We helped one bury her husband. We trained for marathons together, we shared beers together, we leaned on each other through our kids' ordeals. 99.9% of my girlfriends are true friends. I don't have daughters, but I'm hoping that my nieces are learning from my example and their moms' examples what it means to be a good person, and a good friend.

OW is part of the breed that gives women a bad name. I let her in to my circle but my friends never accepted her. I DO wish they had been strong enough to tell me exactly what they thought of her right away - perhaps it would have saved me the heartache - but I also started to realize that she wasn't giving me anything in return for the friendship I was offering her and realized long before DDay that she was no true friend.

I do still believe in sisterhood and girlfriends - I would be lost without them - and I hope that my attitude about the sisterhood is contagious, at least in small part.

I was never angry or offended. I merely voiced my opinion as I also have a right to do. And my opinion is that people tend to be selfish when there is something they want, and that includes other people's spouses. As long as they can justify their behavior in their own minds, no group will matter. Policeman and military have a "brotherhood" and some of them sleep with each other's wives. Priests sometimes molest children. And some women sleep with their best friend's husbands. A sisterhood sounds nice but it's an illusion. And the belief that there is one is one thing that allows other women to get close enough to our husbands to cheat. Harry, from "When Harry Met Sally" was pretty dead on when he said " Men and women can't be friends". Not Just Friends does a pretty good job of explaining how to keep opposite sex friendships just that. But, another thing that might help would be to realize that even a "sister" will justify her bad behavior once she feels an attraction to your husband. Rely on women all day long for babysitting and bake sales but I never trust anyone when it comes to sex. People kill other people when it comes to sex. And my husband isn't having any friendships with other women and staying married to me because his boundaries suck and I know those other women don't give a crap about me as evidenced by the fact that two of them didn't think twice about me or my kids. And right behind them are probably a million more waiting in line to get their chance to do it, too. I just won't be opening the door to allow it.

I wish your sisterhood existed, I really do. I wish people were nicer or at least honest. I wish people thought about consequences before they made the decision to cheat. Your sisterhood sounds very nice and their might be a few women out there who fit whatever mold it takes to join it. I imagine there are quite a lot here on SI. I like to think even some of the former waywards could be a part of it. I wouldn't know, though. I don't trust people unless I gave birth to them or they grew up in my house with me. Notice, raising me isn't on the list. Nor is marrying me. (made that mistake twice) LOL.

Incidentally, Faithful, I am always honest and it usually gets me exactly the reaction I got from you. LOL. See why I don't get along with women?

Edited because my stupid tablet posted before I was ready!

[This message edited by Tearsoflove at 5:20 PM, May 16th (Wednesday)]

I don't if there ever was such a sisterhood, but there sure as hell should be.

There is the Golden Rule though and it should apply to everyone always

Treat everyone as you wish to be treated yourself.

Oh my! How I can relate to this post.

OW/xBFF was literally like a sister to me. My parents had to take her in at a young age because her parents had a psychotic break when her baby sister died.

She was at the birth of every single child I have. She was "aunt" to my girls. They all had a special bond with her and believed her to be my "sister"

She was my maid of honor, she helped me with laundry when I was sick, she moved in a couple of different times with her daughter. Yeah, I was "aunt myheart" to her daughter too.

My parents thought of her like a second daughter. She was by every account a sister minus the blood relation.

She decided my husband was her soulmate, even with all the history between us. She decided to spread her legs and God knows what else for him so he could treat her like a whore. She begged him to leave me for 2 1/2 years, that she had never loved anyone more and that I deserved what I was getting. After all those years of true unconditional love for her, she decided I was not worth any of it and apparently it was totally worth throwing it all away. I would put a crying face up, but she is not worth one single tear anymore. Not even virtually.

Myheart, there should be a special hell for OWs who were as close as yours and you're right, she isn't worth your tears. While I don't believe there is a sisterhood, I do think it takes a special kind of evil to do what your OW did given your relationship. At least you know that wherever she is, she can't get away from herself.