SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It is ironic to read this post about sisterhood when so much of the posting is about bashing those OW whores.

Sorry, but what do you expect? That the BW here that have had their lives torn apart by OW's that chose to have sex with another woman's husband, should just smile weetly and say it's okay we are "sisters".

Give me a break.

And what you read here is mostly venting, a release of emotions, this place is like a safety valve.

Most of the BW here DO follow the golden rule, most of the BW here ARE part of a sisterhood, one that we never wanted to join but were forced to.

it should be said too that there are remorseful ow on SI that are liked and respected by many of us here.

Your missing the piont, okay put it this way, lets take cheating out of it.

Voting for woman, who came together as one? Woman! When it came time for people to walk instead of riding the bus in the south during the civil right movement, who secertly drove those woman to work and home? Women, When someone needed help taking care of someone elses child who did you call on? another women, when someone was sick who brought food for the family to eat? women. I could go on and on that is sisterhood as women! When times get hard who pulls it together for the sake of family? women. All I am stating again is that if we all pulled together as the women of this world there would be less adultery. It wouldn't all go away but there would be less if more and more women thought about what they were doing to another woman and children. I think my thread is getting of base. And I am sorta sorry I brought it up.

It is a human response to that you are suppose to treat people with kindness and how you want to be treated. However, this was not about bashing an OW it was about the anger I FEEL that another woman could actually do the things that the OW did in my life and in front of my kids!!!!!!! How could she do that??? and to me she has no honor for being a woman and what we represent in the lives of others and to our children. I'm sorry if I wish all women could be in that circle. This is my last post on this thread because I am not understanding why alot of you are stating you never seen it. I have and I am young, I have seen women come together for what they believe is right and I have seen them come together when one is hurting another. That is my experince and I just wish somewhere in someones heart that they would think before they act as a women and a MOTHER!

Sorry again, I am hurting because I just don't understand it. It breaks my heart for other women, to see the tears strem down their cheeks, feel the sickening of the pain and emotions, not knowing why and to have an OW laugh at you and tell you that you have to share, call you names, show up at your home and cause a fight with your wh in front of your children and tell you that "I know your son like the lawn mower better so I gave it to your wh"???? That is EVIL! And I know men can be EVIL look at my wh but a woman with a child herself? WTF. And this post was just about women and bonding, not about men, that is a subject for a BH to post. I just wanted thoughts is all.

Love you all.

[This message edited by Faithful w/Love at 12:39 PM, May 17th (Thursday)]

It is ironic to read this post about sisterhood when so much of the posting is about bashing those OW whores.

I think there is also a "code" in sisterhood, if you will. In my mind, sleeping with another woman's H. breaks a cardinal rule.

Everything else can be marked up to just being catty.

And of course, your daughters, sisters, etc. can forgive you. In all fairness, it probably would have been different if it had been their husbands, dontcha think?

ETA:

Don't be sorry for the thread, FWL. It's a good topic...and IMHO, a good thread.

I DO think some of the "sisterhood" has changed. Women were once much more oppressed. And by it's very nature, oppression creates a sense of comradery. We even see that with SI - that women come together during hard times.

Society has forced women into more competing roles now - everything from corporate jobs to how well we age. We may try to buck against it but it's still seeps into our psyche. And when I really look at it, there are many women that I cannot say I would feel a sisterhood with. There are many women I would expect to undermine me if given the chance. Hell...I have one friend that I know if I am looking good simply by the catty response I get from her. I have learned to take that as a compliment.

But where I DO expect the sisterhood - the area that I consider to be off the table - is when it comes to a woman's family...her husband, her children. That's where I personally share a sense of sisterhood...the boundaries that I don't cross, the place where I HELP no matter what.

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 12:37 PM, May 17th (Thursday)]

I am not understanding why alot of you are stating you never seen it. I have and I am young,

So let me get this straight ... you're actually upset that some of us haven't witnessed a "sisterhood?" Your upset with us because our life experiences differ from yours?

I have seen PEOPLE come together to be agents of change. I have seen PEOPLE come together in times of hardship.

Both men and women.

Their actions are because of their character and the strength of their humanity not because of their sex.

I have seen, in my life, no evidence of a solidarity of sisters.

I have no idea why that should upset you, but I mean no offense. I am simply sharing my experiences.

P.S. - The life experiences from which I draw upon for my conclusion that I have never witnessed a sisterhood are not limited solely to the realm of infidelity. I draw on my experiences in the corporate environment watching women scratch and claw over one another on their way up the ladder. I draw on my experiences raising a competitive figure skater and watching young girls bicker and fight and their mothers being underhanded bitches to get their kids more ice time, etc.

Sorry, but I'm not simply talking about infidelity as my life experiences encompass a great deal more than my ex-husband's affairs.

[This message edited by SouthernGal at 12:35 PM, May 17th (Thursday)]

OnlySolution...

It is ironic to read this post about sisterhood when so much of the posting is about bashing those OW whores

Once again you throw your snarky, shitass comments on a thread that is so obiviously geared towards the BS's on this site.

I swear you do things just to get a rise out of the BS's here.

Do us all a favor and stay off threads where you contribute nothing except to throw a wrench in things. Because honestly...your 4 years here have felt like a lifetime.

I have been blessed with some very wonderful women friends in this life. Some have been by my side for decades and are still by my side today as I struggle through the mess infidelity has made of my life. I too lamented the death of the sisterhood after d-day, however I now see that it really is more about how individual people choose to live their lives. I absolutely will not let WH's poor decision keep me from trusting all other women in the future. Trusting him is the real issue. I also believe that this is not a gender specific thing, as much as it is a societal thing. Here's a link to a study about empathy among college students. Scary stuff. I think this may explain why people stomp on others to get what they want and damn the cost to anyone who gets in their way. All WS and APs exhibit a complete lack of empathy for anyone during the A. Sorry, don't mean to get off topic, but I do believe that the lack of empathy in our world today is to blame for the breakdown of not only the "sisterhood", but of "humanhood."

http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases/7724

Bye Onlysolution

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 12:45 PM, May 17th (Thursday)]

The ow in my life literally preaches sisterhood with peace and justice for all. She is a divinity school grad who could not get a husband of her own so she systematically went after mine. It took 6 months, but she used methods she learned in counseling classes to snare him. He admits he did not see it coming until they were into their PA, about 6 months after

they started a EA. He is 53 and she is 35 with a ticking clock. She admitted that she saw him in the media and went after him. She even

started showing up in places I

volunteer. She wanted my life. Our therapist said she is a sociopath and we have to be very careful how we handle her. I am sick to death watching her live her life pretending to be a social justice progressive on women's issues and we cannot out her.

[This message edited by Lovedyoumore at 12:57 PM, May 17th (Thursday)]

SouthernGal,

I am not upset that some have not seen it. Why do you read into everything I saw on alot of posts? I am saying sorry that you have not got to have that experenice and in a corporate world that I work I have seen those types of women alot and frankly I also know that the other type of women like myself will state this " Oh you know what she is after, or she feels she is holier than now because of her job and looks down on us, or will do anything to get to the top and stab you in the back". been there, seen it a million times.

I am not upset at all, again I was just stating I wish everyone could have that sense of saftey from another woman or women that you know they have your back no matter what and that I would love to see more women do that. Look out for one another and know you can trust them. And don't cross the line.

I was thinking of something differnt by sisterhood.

I recognise that there is, has been and always will be a sisterhood of women that come together and get things done.

That are there with compassion and comfort when it is needed. That can get things done.

I have never for one moment doubted the strength and courage of women, the history of my country is full of examples of such women all the way back to Boudicca(and probably before)

I am also lucky to have some incredible female friends.

On the flip side though, I have witnessed the awful cattiness and bitchiness, the way women (and not just middle school girls) can exclude one woman on a whim, women can be so hateful to other women for no good reason. It is that aspect of at least some women, that makes me question the kind of sisterhood where women just don't take other women's husbands.

All we can do is raise our daughters to be the kind of women that do believe in sisterhood, and raise our sons to love and resepct those kind of women.