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Newest Member: Doodles

Reconciliation :
I said NO!

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 Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 2:30 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Let me back up a smidge.

Earlier in the week, Mr. Aubrie asked me out on a date for Friday. It blew me away because previously he's never initiated alone time and since Dday, I expected to continue as we had in the past. So, I got a sitter, dolled up for him, and we went out on the town.

We went to a new restuarant. After dinner we went to the shooting range. We took the 9mm and the 22. Stupid me bought the wrong bullets for the 22 and we couldn't use it. I knew Mr. Aubrie would get mad about throwing money away (no returns on anything firearms related) but he just shrugged it off. Said he didn't care. Accidents happen. Then he totally kicked my butt in target practice.

We ended the evening meandering thru a classic car show while we ate our frozen custard. I kept getting funny looks. I guess prissy, curly hair and a little black dress is sorta out of place at car shows. Mr. Aubrie loved it, so who cares.

The evening was a smashing success. He held my hand and told me how proud he was of my progress. That he feels like we have now what he wished we'd had at the very beginning, and he's so grateful for the change.

Today he had to work a few hours and we had plans to go to the zoo with the kids. Well, Mom called and had this awesome plan that our entire family and a couple friends would get together for dinner. Normally I would alter my plans, cut our family time short, and we'd go to my parents. But as I sat on the phone with Mom, I realized that I wanted to spend time with just the 4 of us. I wanted to spend real family time with Mr. Aubrie. Because he's my family. I said, "Mom, I appreciate the offer, but we already had plans. Thanks but we'll do it another time." She was speechless. Because I've never said NO before.

Mr. Aubrie called me up later and I was telling him about the conversation. He got really quiet and then, "You really just said no to your mother!?"

Yep. I did.

"Why did you do that? You never say no!"

Because I had plans with you. I want to be with you today.

He was floored. He came home, we packed up and went to the zoo. Several times throughout the day he would grab my hand, shake his head and say, "Wow, you said no. I can't believe you did that for me."

At one point in the day I totally stuck my foot in my mouth. While at the zoo we saw a couple guys walk past in tuxes. Mr. Aubrie looked at me quizzically. I said, "Oh they have weddings, parties, and all kinds of shindigs here. Wouldn't that be awesome!? Getting married in front of the giraffes!? We should totally renew our vows in front of the giraffes!!!" Heck no did I just say that out loud! I cringed internally thinking of what to say next. Mr. Aubrie never skipped a beat. "I don't know if I could do that. Not because of the A at all, but just because of the crowd. The wedding was one thing, I just can't do a crowd again. Maybe just a few people with us." Ya'll, I almost died.

Then on the way home he said, "I feel like I'm wanted. Like I'm not just along for the ride. You want to be with me and you care about my feelings. You've made me feel important today and that means so much to me."

*sniff sniff*

If you've made it through this novel of a post, thanks for your patience! I've had all this happiness cooped up and had to pour it out.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 5874958
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mesoSTUPID ( member #35679) posted at 2:40 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

I've had all this happiness cooped up and had to pour it out.

I have been sticking around the reconciliation forum and no longer lurking in Just Found Out or Wayward Side because I want to read posts just like yours that say exactly this... I need positive fuel for my soul.

I am happy for you right now.

ME (BS): 41 and so stupid!
Him (WH): 43. He's my dragon slayer but my heart wasn't supposed to be slayed!

posts: 195   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2012   ·   location: Miami
id 5874969
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rollercoaster80 ( member #23412) posted at 2:44 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

YEAH for the two of you!

me 58 fbw
him 71 FWH/SA
married 35 years
together 31 years my whole adult life!
4 s, 1 stepd, 2 grand kids

multiple A's, 2 LTA's,multiple indescretions...before and throughout our marriage

posts: 1053   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2009   ·   location: sarasota, fl
id 5874977
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 2:49 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

First

Sounds like you two are making wonderful & happy memories. Putting him first sometimes, goes a long way towards R. I am so happy for you both.

[This message edited by jo2love at 8:50 PM, June 9th (Saturday)]

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 5874985
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painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 2:56 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Wonderful post Aubrie. I'm so happy for you both!


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 5874998
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 2:58 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Awesome post. You've literally got me tearing up a bit.

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 5875000
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bewuzzled ( member #31584) posted at 3:08 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

SOOOO happy for you guys!

fWW/BW (me) 42 now MH
BH/WH MH (him) 42 (StuckOnTheFence)
2 kids (21& 18)
D day #1 1/20/11
D day #2 1/28/11
I am seeking, I am striving
I am in it with all my heart.

posts: 707   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Missouri
id 5875015
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br0k3n ( member #35710) posted at 3:13 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Thats so awesome Aubrie....It brought me to tears!

Just turned 40....
Some things are just a deal breaker. Bad choices - no one else to blame but me on my decisions. Communication is the key moving forward.

posts: 178   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 5875024
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Clarrissa ( member #21886) posted at 3:21 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Yay!

BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2008   ·   location: A better place
id 5875032
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brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 3:26 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

I am so happy for both of you!

Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

posts: 2137   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2010   ·   location: Northwesten US
id 5875037
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HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 7:14 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled

posts: 7038   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2007
id 5875157
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dawn10275 ( member #35633) posted at 8:25 AM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

That is so AWESOME! I am so happy for you and it gives me hope for the future.

WS aren't the only ones that lie and hurt others.

posts: 69   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2012   ·   location: Ohio
id 5875176
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wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 12:20 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live

posts: 55956   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2007   ·   location: Michigan
id 5875240
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 12:25 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

What a great post! I'm so happy for you and Mr Aubrie!

I'm also impressed by how badass you are that you go shooting on your date! I've never even held a gun.

You have worked hard to get to this point, and the love you two share is evident.

YAY!!!

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 5875245
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 Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 12:58 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Awww, thanks ya'll! I'm stilll floating thru the clouds.

I'm also impressed by how badass you are that you go shooting on your date!

It was a blast!

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 5875279
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laney57 ( member #35617) posted at 1:28 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Just

Update 01/21/17
Me - BS, 46
Him - WH, 48
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Separated 03/2014 (he moved out of state for job)
Tried and tried and failed long distance 09/2015
Have no idea

posts: 236   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2012   ·   location: KY
id 5875304
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jewel123 ( member #22863) posted at 1:46 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Good for you Aubrie!!!!! Way to go girl!!!!

I'm so happy y'all had a good time on your date and that y'all were able to go and have fun at the zoo. I'm sure Mr. Aubrie was over the moon that you told your mother no so you could stick with the original plans. Way to let him know how important he is to you. Actions speak volumes.

BTW Paulie and I were also talking about renewing our vows last night.

BS me 44
H 46 (paulie)
married 25 years (hs sweethearts)
dday 8-08
DS19
DS23
New love is the brightest, and long love is the greatest, but revived love is the tenderest thing known on earth. -Thomas Hardy
Reconciled! :)

posts: 5524   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2009   ·   location: MO
id 5875317
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Tred ( member #34086) posted at 2:15 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Aubrie,

You guys must be doing awesome if you hand him a loaded 9mm!

I love shooting with my wife too - it's awesome watching her shoot doubles in skeet. She totally kicks my ass with a shotgun.

Sometimes love is shooting together and not at each other. Thanks for the great post.

Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5890   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 5875343
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OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 4:38 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Totally tearing up here. Happy for you all. You are both moving out of your comfort zones and that is really good, I think.

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

posts: 1486   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2011
id 5875469
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Twigs323 ( member #34055) posted at 4:56 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2012

That's awesome Aubrie!!

posts: 1429   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2011
id 5875498
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