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New Beginnings :
Would the hight of a man be a dealbreaker for you?

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944man ( member #22077) posted at 9:46 PM on Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

I'm 6'2 and have dated a variety of women from 4'11 to 6ft. My preference is petite though. Just something about a little woman GF is 5'7 which is a little taller than i'm used to but it's working!

On the neck straining. Never had a woman complain before about that. Much of the time i was picking her little azz up though

43 and loving it

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NoLongerWantHim ( member #19934) posted at 10:44 PM on Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

When I wake up in the morning I'm 5'3".

My entire life, I only dated, looked at, was interested in taller guys.

Post D, I came up with the theory that there is a oxygen difference at about 67 inches above the ground.

I have 3 brothers, 3 sisters, 3 sons, 2 daughters - everyone taller than 5' 7" is flaming odd (Drug, alcohol, felony convictions).

FarmBoy is 5'6".

Oh, and my one sibling shorter than I am is married to a guy her height.

Me & the kids are having the malignancy removed.

If I went to Hogwarts, my Patronus would be my Big Sister - GWADW

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BoardPearl ( member #25463) posted at 11:01 PM on Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

I am 5'7", and I've always been attracted to the type with the proportions of Michael J. Fox. And I think he is around 5'4".

My SO is taller than me, and exWH was only slightly taller than me. So if I wore high heals I was taller than him.

Try to figure out why it would be a dealbreaker for you. If you really like him, then the height is irrelevant.

Also, if my SO were to be over 6' (he's not), I'd still want to be with him, because I adore him, so it wouldn't be a dealbreaker.

But when I think of the men I've been attracted to, it's been those men that have the same type of body as Michael J. Fox.

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Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 12:18 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

Not in the least.

I am 5'4". GDM is about 5'7". I thought this would bother me, but I am so crazy about who he is and how well we get along that it really, really doesn't matter.

Not. At. All.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

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PlainsGirl29 ( member #33520) posted at 2:11 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I am 5'8' and stbx is too. I have been attracted to shorter guys, my best kiss was with a guy 4 inches shorter than me. I would prefer taller but not too tall, under 6'4', really idc, but I don't like feeling like a giant, tall women often have height insecurities..

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InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 2:15 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I wouldn't date a man the same height or shorter than me, unless I already knew him and was impressed by some other quality. For online dating I just passed at shorter than me men. I'm 5'7". My guy is 5'9" I think. Maybe 5'8.5" When I wear heels I'm taller and it bugs him a bit. But I wear them anyway. I also have bought shoes I like that are flats for the sake of our heights.

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 2:54 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I prefer that my date be taller. It doesn't really matter how much taller. STBX was 6 feet tall, but as long as the guy is taller than 5'7," that would work for me.

I don't know why I prefer that. Societal conditioning, I guess. I have no idea if I would go for a shorter guy; it would depend on everything else about him.

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

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noone ( member #34455) posted at 3:28 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

My XH was my height and although the height, to me does not matter so much, I find now that I am attracted to taller men. More so I think due to the way my (short) XH was than how tall he was(n't). I think I relate short men to being a potential A hole. Does that make sense. I would say the only things I am not attracted to are very heavy men and very hairy men. Both which can be changed if all else was great but I couldn't get over it. Hope this makes sense. Long day...super tired

[This message edited by noone at 9:29 PM, July 18th (Wednesday)]

what the caterpillar believes is the end of life, the butterfly knows is just the beginning

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kernel ( member #27035) posted at 3:34 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

Just looking, not knowing someone, I am always more attracted to tall men (6 foot or more). I wonder if it's because all the men in my family are tall? Who knows? So if I'm ordering up a guy at the Date-a-rama drive through, I would ask for tall, dark hair, athletic build, you get the picture. But that's a surface thing, aesthetics, you know? Real emotional attraction (that's what is important to me) comes with getting to know someone - who they are inside, a sense of humor, intelligence, etc, - not what they look like. All that high falutin' stuff being said, I don't know how i would deal with someone shorter than me (I'm 5'7"). X was 6'3" and really my only serious relationship.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

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Darcy ( member #25731) posted at 3:55 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I am 5'10" and teacher is 5'8". This was always a dealbreaker for me before. When we met 2 years ago and dated for 3 months, I tried everything not to make the difference obvious. But I think I made it more obvious...haha.

Since we got back together I am standing straight and the difference is noticable but it is okay. I have never met a kinder, more honest, hard-working, trustworthy man. He is gentle and sweet and treats me like a princess. When I did my inventory, that was the only thing I would change about him. And at the end of the day the good more than makes up for him being over 6' tall.



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willowiris ( member #5372) posted at 4:05 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I'm 5'7". I have dated several men who were the same height as me. It's not a big deal. I have never dated anyone significantly shorter than me and can't imagine I would, but who knows. There are enough dealbreakers out there. I just don't care that much.

D-day 09/2004
Filed for divorce 9/2006

We accept the love we think we deserve. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."

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hitbyatruck ( member #23769) posted at 4:20 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I think it is alright to accept that you might have a type. Maybe the man needs to be DAMN SPECIAL to get you out of your type.

I like tall men and I am just over 5ft. H is 6'3". Most of my dates/BFs were all over6 ft. One was a few inches shy of 7ft, I loved that.

Married 1998. 2 kids. First discovery 3/2009. Multiple affairs, porn addiction. one failed attempt at R. Nested for over a year. Divorce final 8/2015. XH is now married. I am engaged!

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NWfleur ( member #35874) posted at 4:41 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

So funny, I've thought if this exact issue and I'm not even dating. My WH is 6'2. I am 5'4, but I always loved him being so tall. Maybe because my dad is 6'3 so I sort of have tall men in my subconscious? I don't think I've ever been with a man under 5'11 or so, so it must be something I'm drawn to. Which is a bit silly considering I'm fairly petite.

Also, my oldest son is tiny, king of odd considering his dad's height. My younger son is huge, 2.5 years younger and the same height! So since my son will probably be a smaller adult, I have thought about this many times...will this be a deal breaker for women he meets?? So, I probably need to get over my tall men issue since great people come in all sizes!

Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
2 DS
M: 9 years (together 13)
DD: 4/10/2012
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)

Divorced!!!

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capri ( member #14940) posted at 4:45 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

His attitude toward the height thing was such a turn off that in the end his feelings (read insecurity) about his height made it a dealbreaker.

I imagine this is huge.

XH always told me he was 5'8". I thought he just carried himself 'short,' since I've known people whose height appears very different depending on their posture. Turns out...wait for it...he lied! I stumbled across something from his doctor that put him at 5'5.5" I think he himself was extremely insecure about his height. (Must be if he'd even lie to his wife about it!) I think it was one of many things that contributed to the problems in our marriage.

I think he was very sensitive about it. I never wore heels because of it. One of the first things I did when I found out about these women he'd hidden from me was to start wearing heels. With my 4" heels, I'm getting really close to 6' and I like it.

My preference is most definitely a taller man--6' or taller. I'd certainly go out with someone 5'10" or 5'9," but really, my feeling is never say never. It may well be that if I met someone who is my height and perfectly confident in himself, I wouldn't care if I towered over him in heels. Look how many of these 5'10" or taller models wear heels that make them taller than their boyfriends, and the guys don't seem the least concerned about it.

I go out to dinner and downtown pretty frequently these days with a friend who's 6'2" or 6'3". I find this to be just about perfect.

[This message edited by capri at 10:46 PM, July 18th (Wednesday)]

Me: free of the secrets and lies!!!
Divorced 10/2011

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veritas ( member #3525) posted at 4:58 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

T/j

Honestly, capri, I don't think many people have an accurate idea of their height. I have 1 pair of flats that I rarely wear; even my flip flops have almost 2 inches of heel on them. I tower over most women I meet, and I have been measured as an adult at 5'4.25" consistently. I wore 3 inch heels and was taller than my sister who claims to be 5'8". So if the height differential is up to a couple of inches, I don't automatically assume they are lying.

Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

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Dark Inertia ( member #30727) posted at 7:08 AM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I tend to be attracted to shorter men. I am 5'3... I prefer men who are no taller than 5'8. My SO is 5'6... very rarely am I attracted to anyone over 6'.

I think tall men have plenty of fans... they don't need me.

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capri ( member #14940) posted at 3:43 PM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

veritas, I would certainly agree with that, as a recent measurement put me at 1/2 to nearly a full inch taller than I'd always thought I was.

On the other hand, this is a man who lies as easily as he breathes or eats, so it's not a knee-jerk accusation, either.

Me: free of the secrets and lies!!!
Divorced 10/2011

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veritas ( member #3525) posted at 3:48 PM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

capri: I understand; I was just musing in general. A doctor's report is pretty definitive

Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

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WhiteWolfWinning ( member #12475) posted at 3:50 PM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I have no idea. I don't meet very many men shorter than I am!!

t/j:

I have a nephew who is wickedly handsome, funny, bright and about 5'4ish.

At a performance review with a company where he'd worked for many years,he was lavished with praise over how he handled a very challenging project involving many people.

His boss said ... only half-jokingly, "after this, you can pretty much name your wish and we'll grant it".

My newphew glanced about the room (populated with various managerial bigwigs from his company), waved his as though waving a wand and said "You are all 5'3".

I so love that story.

Wolf

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens

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hurtinky ( member #26152) posted at 7:28 PM on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I don't think the preference for a certain height can be compared to a preference for breast size or even weight.

Height preferences are generally related to how you perceive the way you will look as a couple. It really doesn't have much to do with how attracted you are to the person in general.

Breast size and weight preferences are personal.

Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12


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