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isthis4real (original poster member #29698) posted at 6:33 PM on Friday, January 25th, 2013
Can anyone please recommend a good book(s) about being codependent and gives good advice on how not to be?
Me BW 30
WH 37
Married 4 years
DD 3
(2) DSS 15 & 18
D-day 9/3/10
Kicked him out 9/26/10 for fence sitting
WH served with divorce papers 10/4/10 at his place of employment
No chance of R.
Rebuilding and looking forward to a brig
rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 8:26 PM on Friday, January 25th, 2013
Melody Beattie has a new codependent book out titled - the New Co-Dependent No More.
I like The Secret of Letting Go too.
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 2:07 AM on Sunday, January 27th, 2013
Codependent No More
The New Codependentboth by Melody Beattie
Boundaires
by Cloud & Townsend
ETA: Codependency has deep roots into childhood. If you have the ability to get some IC and explore your FOO, you will have better luck at shedding codependency.
[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 8:09 PM, January 26th (Saturday)]
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
seekingright2013 ( member #37991) posted at 2:49 PM on Saturday, February 16th, 2013
I second the motion of anything by Melody Beattie.
My personal favorite is "Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'd Change" by Robin Norwood.
This book has helped me SO much. My exWSO was not an addict but was passive-aggressive. Like any book (or forum), take what helps and leave the rest. I found about 75-80% applied to me and my situation.
What I found the most helpful was the chapter on how to recover !! Excellent. Step-by-step instructions.
In a nutshell: focus on YOU. YOU can't change anyone else. Put all the energy that you have been throwing away on someone else, on an unhealthy relationship, back into YOU.
Actually kind of reminds me of the 180!
Hope this helps. Bibliotherapy has really helped me. And IC too.
“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
cp1962 ( new member #38346) posted at 6:54 PM on Thursday, February 28th, 2013
I am just beginning IC (only 2 sessions so far) and my therapist recommended Co-dependent No More. It is amazing how much I can identify. I pull all my energy into
ME-BW 50
HIM-WH 51
DDAY #1 01/09/2013
DDAY #2 02/03/2013
Divorced 10/23/2013
cp1962 ( new member #38346) posted at 6:54 PM on Thursday, February 28th, 2013
I am just beginning IC (only 2 sessions so far) and my therapist recommended Co-dependent No More. It is amazing how I can identify.
[This message edited by cp1962 at 12:56 PM, February 28th (Thursday)]
ME-BW 50
HIM-WH 51
DDAY #1 01/09/2013
DDAY #2 02/03/2013
Divorced 10/23/2013
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 12:24 PM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
summerain ( member #37439) posted at 6:21 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2013
Thanks authenticnow 
OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.
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