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Newest Member: Firechild83

New Beginnings :
The bumps still come up...

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 FaithFool (original poster member #20150) posted at 8:54 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

This past weekend has been quite a ride emotionally.

I made the big decision to sell my condo, and rented a place to go to so I can stage it for a speedy sale.

When I got back from seeing my new landlady and sealing the deal (it is a sweet place, see my other thread), I had a meltdown like I have not had in a long time.

It was Ativan time even.

I started delving into why: well, aside from launching myself into the great unknown one more time, this move involves letting go of a whole bunch of stuff from my 5-year healing cycle.

Moved into the building in the spring of 2008 while selling the house we shared with my mom.

Mom stuff...

Four months later was DDay.

Infidelity stuff...

Moved into the House of Pain, then back to a different suite in the same building after the very traumatizing sale of the dream house.

Divorce stuff.

Bought the condo. My mom died before I could move in.

More mom stuff...

Moved in finally after a major window disaster finally got fixed, and spent the next two years grieving loss of mom + marriage.

Deep abandonment stuff......

When I finally move out for the last time, I'll be letting go of the first thing that was really mine, and my safe haven.

But after loooong discussions with all my besties from IRL and here on SI (thank you all!),

I have realized that letting go, as painful as it seems, will be super therapeutic. I can finally put that place, where I went through SO much, good and bad, in my rear view mirror.

Tomorrow they are shutting off the water to do some plumbing work, so I decided to check into a nice hotel that is doing a tourist-in-your-town promotion just to let someone pamper me.

I plan on long hot soaks and room service for the next couple of days, because I'm feeling a little fragile.

Will be glad to put those five years behind me and get back on the upward trajectory again.

No lie, folks... This shit takes T I M E...

[This message edited by FaithFool at 2:56 PM, March 5th (Tuesday)]

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21613   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6245224
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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 8:58 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

Pfew!

That's a lot of bumps.

(((((FF)))))

You'll be ok, FF. This seems like a very good decision in the long haul.

Enjoy those long soaks.

I is very jealous.

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 6245229
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Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 9:23 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

You sound VERY healthy. It does take time and work.

My 40s were a decade I would not care to repeat. Empty nest, becoming a grandparent, XWH losing a job he held for 24 years because of bankruptcy of the company, XWH's MLC A, D, my mother sinking further into dementia and health issues, death of my mother, long drawn out horrible post-D relationship with the wrong man, moving 3 times, and finally buying my own home.

The 50s feel like a vacation after that decade!

Onward and upward FF! Life starts new every day.

NL

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

posts: 8471   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2005
id 6245255
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gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 11:17 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

There has been some huge bumps but we are still moving forward. They slow us down but we only hesitate for awhile to reflect.

My first 5 yrs of my 50s had mostly bumps but there were a few very positives too. I wouldn't want a repeat either.

I'm so excited for you ! Finally all ties to places will be broke. This is going to free you so there will be room for the best yet to come!

Take the time to work through and make a few new plans.

Like Serjr said: You're gonna be OK, FF !

Many good wishes for you !!

God, knows how much we've been through together in 5 yrs ! Big Hugs

Gma

BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

posts: 20502   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2008   ·   location: Closer to where I want to be..
id 6245371
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 11:35 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

((FF))

Those are bumps but those are just normal healthy bumps. Even for the healthiest amongst us, life isn't bump free.

I can't wait to see the pics of your new place

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6245397
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 FaithFool (original poster member #20150) posted at 3:11 AM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Thanks guys. I'm finally settled in to my hotel after a crazy day at work. Co worker called in sick so I was on my own. Didn't stop running all day.

Had to go home to get an overnight bag and prep the bathroom and kitchen for plumbing work tomorrow.

Dragged myself back here in the rain and now I'm in the king bed kicking back watching my favourite shows and contemplating room service. Too exhausted to go out for dinner.

It's been a day....

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21613   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6245647
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risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 3:36 AM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

This is a bump not a trench! You are allowed to take time to grieve. You are not going to the depths of pain like before.

You are taking care of yourself tonight...

That is the sign of a strong spirit!

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6245673
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 FaithFool (original poster member #20150) posted at 3:51 AM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

True enough.

Hexed, pics here... http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=488876

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21613   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6245688
default

 FaithFool (original poster member #20150) posted at 5:33 PM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Update: breakfast has arrived.

Had a really great sleep (took a sleeping pill last night) in this huge comfy bed.

Nice hotel.

Too bad I have to work this afternoon...

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21613   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6246388
default

NoLongerWantHim ( member #19934) posted at 9:43 PM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

((FF))

Enjoy!

Me & the kids are having the malignancy removed.

If I went to Hogwarts, my Patronus would be my Big Sister - GWADW

posts: 4123   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2008   ·   location: Where I want to be, on the road to the future
id 6246813
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click4it ( member #209) posted at 9:46 PM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Hotel comfy beds are the best for a good night's sleep!

(((((((FF))))))

Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

posts: 25706   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2002   ·   location: California
id 6246817
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 9:51 PM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

sounds fantastic

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6246826
default

rcantbleveit ( member #30476) posted at 10:10 PM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Your new place is beautiful. It looks like the perfect place to be happy......

I wish you well

posts: 229   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2010
id 6246850
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 FaithFool (original poster member #20150) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, March 7th, 2013

Thanks, I hope it all works out. I'm not looking forward to actually moving my pile again, but at least I get rid of some stuff each time... Makes you look at what you really need.

Hope to have another good sleep tonight, then the rest of this hectic work week (stunned schedule), then home again where I really have to focus on overhauling my honours thesis which is due at the end of the month.

Gah.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 7:12 PM, March 6th (Wednesday)]

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21613   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6247046
default

rcantbleveit ( member #30476) posted at 9:28 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013

I'm closing on a new house at the end of the month and just put my house on the market this week. hankfully the new house has renters that are willing to stay until my home sells.

The new house is everything I prayed for: Short Sell, on a small lake, in a cove, off a circle, close to my kids and was the floor plan I was going to build..... I'm calling it "the lake house".

I love my home but was thinking that maybe if I got another place that X has never been in, Happier days would be ahead.

Three of my friends are getting married over the next 4 weeks and I've been helping with their weddings which sometimes makes me a little sad when all the activities are over but it doesn't last long & then I'm just happy for them again.

God & time really does heal.

posts: 229   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2010
id 6250843
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