SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

SG's recent thread about parents/grandparents getting married (and lasting!) after knowing their partner for a short time, has gotten me thinking about what kind of advice their situations might have inspired on this board.

Disclaimer: This is just for FUN (mods - did not post in F&G b/c this is so specific to NB, but move it if you disagree - of course). My post is NOT directed at any person or persons posting here. I just can't help but wonder if we don't ALL overthink and analyze a bit too much.

Wolf's mom (based on true events):

There is this guy who walks by my house every day on his way home from work. I am usually sitting on the porch, and he stops to chat and make small talk. Yesterday, he asked if I would go out with him, his friend and his friend's gf for a ride in his friends car. He says we'll stop and pick up a pint of ice creamto share. What do you think?

SI !: How old is he? I'd be concerned if he's walking to work.

SI 2: Tell him you'll meet him at the ice cream place. That way, you can leave if he turns out to be a dud.

SI 3: Go! (But 2 is right. Meet him)

SI 4: It's a first date and he's bringing FRIENDS? And you're SHARING ice cream? Be very careful.

SI 5: Does he come up on the porch, or do you go out on the street? This is very important.

SI 6: I dated a non-car driving ice-cream sharer once. It did not turn out well.

Now it's your turn: how do you imagine we might address scenes from your families courtships?

Wolf

[This message edited by WhiteWolfWinning at 8:43 PM, March 9th (Saturday)]

It's good to get off the ice cream bus every now and again! Post details.

SI would have a field day if my great grandma posted on here.

"Met an extremely good looking guy working on the assembly line in Toledo. (He's out of my league, I'm pretty ordinary looking) He's trying to save the family farm but nobody in his family has good credit. They are all terrible with money. The farm will default. He knows I don't want to go home, can't stand my family. He offered to marry me if I would put the farm in my name. THink I'm going to do it."

Tesla's Grandma,

Are you in IC?

Wolf

Tesla's Grandma,

Are you in IC?

I should tell you, she is the one that taught me "Ish Kabibble." She would also tell me if I kept my bottom lip stuck out in a pout that a chicken would land on it and shit on it. Then she would cackle

I loved that lady!

If my mom posted on here...

"I just ended a year-long relationship, and now a friend of mine is trying to set me up on a blind date with a guy from another state who travels heavily for some government job. He drives from location to location with other unmarried men, and they live out of cheap motels. I've never laid eyes on him before and know very little about him. Should I go?"

My maternal grandmother married her next door neighbor. Their marriage lasted until they were both in their late 80's and they died within a month of each other.

My paternal grandmother .. idk the story there but they did indeed last until death. I once saw pictures of her at a picnic as a teen where she had written the names of the attendees on the back. Written in bold letters was my grandfather's name and the comment "ex-boyfriend!!!!!" Um, well obvs not since they married lol.

My paternal grandmother was a bit of a misanthrope so idk what her advice would be, but my maternal grandmother??? She would have told me to dump my husband the second he looked at me funny, much less cheated on me. If she had been alive when I was going through all of this A shit, I probably would've been stronger sooner with her support.

[This message edited by cayc at 10:34 PM, March 9th (Saturday)]

My grandparents?? Well, my maternal grandmother's sister married my grandfather's brother because his mother had died and he needed someone to help raise his younger siblings, my grandfather being one of these sibs. Somehow my grandparents married each other some years later. Let's not go there...

My parents are a much better example. My mother considered herself ugly and awkward. My father was a charmer. His brother married my mother's best friend and my parents met at the wedding. They were married a year later. All of my mother's tales consist of how my father always left her in the lurch while he went out and partied with his friends. Her favorite ones were their first New Year's Eve when he left her at one minute to midnight to help his friends drop the balloons on the party at the local firehouse. The other was the fact that they had to cut their honeymoon short because his friends were expecting him back in town. My father was a raging alcoholic, but *luckily* a happy drunk.

They were married for 41 years until my father's death. Go figure.

My mother is emotionally unavailable, incredibly codependent, and lacks the communication skills necessary to actively participate on a forum (no offense to any lurkers out there!). My father has on-again-off-again depression his whole life, reduces everything to the simplicity of faith, and would go around hugging everybody while giving no concrete advice, since he wouldn't be allowed to talk about religion.

They told me recently that they've seen several MCs over the years and talked about D several times, but decided to stay together because of my sibling and I - and then rebuilt their marriage.

People would tell my dad he deserves better, and my mom would get all sorts of 2x4s and probably meet the ban hammer, because she doesn't like to hear that she's not the ultimate authority on everything.

Ok so my grandmother was dating this guy named Joe Brown. He proposed to her and she agreed to marry him. I don't know when she found out that his name was not nor ever was Joe Brown. Not even close. They stayed together their whole lives.

The entire family went by different names from those given to them which can be very confusing when you are trying to figure out who is who. There were 14 brothers and sisters.

My paternal great-grandparents' story involves immigration and multi-racial children and bigamy, and the end result was both women co-parenting a combined group of 6 or more children while Bisnanno was off breaking even more laws and probably adding to the various counts. They'd have to start their very own I Can Relate thread to cover the batshittiness of it all.

My paternal grandparents were about as screwed up as you could imagine from this dynamic.

My maternal grandparents.

My Grandma would write:

Update. My husband left me for OW many years ago. I never remarried or dated after he left me. We had 4 children together and I will say he did wait to leave until our last DD (Mom) was grown and left home.

He did drink too much most our years together but he was here with us between binges. Our youngest DD (Mom) remembers going to the local bar when she about 7-8 yrs old to get a dime from him to buy milk for me. He refused to give it to her because he was drunk and still wanted to drink until he could no longer walk. We were living through a depression and it was very difficult years for us all.

When DD dated, she wouldn't go out with anyone that drank at all.

Living with him left scars on all the children.

I have lived a very simple life but youngest DD ( Mom)has always made sure I was taken care of and had enough to survive. I loved my flower garden.

XH married OW and did quit drinking years later. They had a strong marriage and were married 25+ yrs before his death.

If I posted my family history you all would be convinced PG family should have never been aloud to procreate. Too much dirty laundry to mention. Pretty sure I turned out Damn well given my family history.

My maternal grandparents had a great story. My grandmother was working in Montreal as a maid (or as she put it working upalong for foreigners:). My grandfather after years of struggle saved a bit of money and sent her a telegram and a money wire. The telegram said. "Buy a dress and come home" and the money wire was for 5 dollars. She bought a wedding dress, went back home and married him.