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bitchboots (original poster member #38051) posted at 7:07 PM on Friday, March 22nd, 2013
After an intense therapy session yesterday I am making myself socialize tonight. I am nervous though. I have nothing to talk about and I am already trying to think of a way to make a graceful exit after 2 hours at the very most. Also, a concern I have is that this person may look at this as a date. Initially I thought it was understood to be more of a happy hour and now I am not so sure. I am trying to figure out a way to make it clear without making it obvious that I am making it clear because what if that is not the intention? Then I will feel stupid for even bringing it up.
Anyways.....here is to new beginnings! Right?
Me: BS
DDay 4/27/2012---3 weeks after our 10 year anniversary.
Second DDay--1/2/2013--R is over
~~~~Finding my moxie~~~~
"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground"...FUN
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 7:11 PM on Friday, March 22nd, 2013
I hope you have a fantastic time. 
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 7:12 PM on Friday, March 22nd, 2013
Nothing to talk about?
That maybe because you don't want to share. You can talk about your little man and the possible new addition to your family and how you love dogs.
I wouldn't bring up the "date" part. If they try to touch you or kiss you or pay for your drinks then politely clarify your viewpoint that this is not a date and end it here if you have to. Go get your bitch boots on bb and you'll be fine.
bitchboots (original poster member #38051) posted at 7:57 PM on Friday, March 22nd, 2013
Moo--
Yes. Yes. True, but that will take a minute with as little as I like to talk about myself.
Excellent point. Thank you!
Me: BS
DDay 4/27/2012---3 weeks after our 10 year anniversary.
Second DDay--1/2/2013--R is over
~~~~Finding my moxie~~~~
"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground"...FUN
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 8:06 PM on Friday, March 22nd, 2013
People really worry about going out with a friend or friends and not having anything to talk about???
If you don't talk in my circles of friends you wind up pale and skinny in a corner... 
WB
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 8:50 PM on Friday, March 22nd, 2013
BB,
Get them to talk about what they like and their interests. Then you can keep the focus off of you until you are ready to share something.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
bitchboots (original poster member #38051) posted at 11:35 PM on Friday, March 22nd, 2013
Leaving in 10 and I bet I'll be home and back online before any of you go to bed! Is that pathetic or what?! 
Me: BS
DDay 4/27/2012---3 weeks after our 10 year anniversary.
Second DDay--1/2/2013--R is over
~~~~Finding my moxie~~~~
"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground"...FUN
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 1:18 AM on Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
Have fun! And don't rush to get home. Try to enjoy yourself.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 1:29 AM on Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
You are going to be great BB - can't wait to hear about it!! I'm proud of you for taking the step out of your comfort zone! I know how hard that it is.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
stillstrong ( member #36144) posted at 6:06 AM on Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
Me BS 47
Him WS 51
DDay LTA Feb 21, 2006
R until DDay 2EA's 1/31/12 ONS 2/5/12 Broken NC 7/12/12
Moved out 9/12
Legally Separated 3/13
bitchboots (original poster member #38051) posted at 1:28 PM on Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
SS, it went fine actually. I did not die, I did not pass out and I think maybe I made a friend to do things with on occasion.
She made me talk. By that I mean she asked questions. Most people don't ask questions....at least it has been my experience that most people want to talk about themselves. Hey......did ya'll set this up? Joking.
Me: BS
DDay 4/27/2012---3 weeks after our 10 year anniversary.
Second DDay--1/2/2013--R is over
~~~~Finding my moxie~~~~
"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground"...FUN
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 2:25 PM on Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
I'm glad you went and had a nice time! Good for you! And good for you for talking with another person and making a friend...these are great new steps for your new beginning.
What I've found in the social world that makes me not be self-conscious is to concentrate on other people instead of myself. Instead of worrying about how I look, what I say, etc....I find someone and start asking THEM questions. I take a genuine interest in what they have to say and make it all about them. Focus is off of you, you don't feel self-conscious at all, and you get people to really like you (studies show that people like you and think you are fascinating the more you take an interest in them!)
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 6:11 PM on Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
Glad you found a friend...
Your mission - should you choose to accept it - to find more friends. 
Hope today's visit with a potential new furkid adds another friend for you.
Hugs,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 6:36 PM on Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
I did not die, I did not pass out
I think this is a wonderful definition of success. I would be enjoying my life a lot more if this was my goal.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
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