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New Beginnings :
Ugh almost made it the whole day. 3rd antiversary today.

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 tennispro4 (original poster member #27842) posted at 10:17 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2013

I almost made it the whole day today without posting about my 3rd antiversary today. Dammit. So close.

This post actually has very little to do with the fact that it's the 3rd antiversary of DDay. I remembered the day only because one of my friend's son's birthday is also today. Otherwise I probably would've forgotten it. But I still have that reminder, hopefully I'll forget the connection by next year...

I'm just having a bad day, on top of some stressful past couple of weeks, that are completely unconnected to anything A/D/etc related. Something bad happened at work today, and there's some drama with one of my friends. And I'm dreading going to a baby shower tomorrow with all of my married and pregnant friends where I'm bound to feel inadequate. So since I'm already having a bad day, I can feel myself starting to get whiney and all "on top of all that it's the 3rd antiversary of DDay. Waaaaah." Which is so NOT where I am in life.

So I guess really what this post is is me trying to keep myself out of the rabbit hole. In truth, I could care less about recognizing that today is the 3rd antiversary of DDay. I'm indifferent towards XWH. It is so evident to me now how dysfunctional our relationship was, and I'm glad I'm out of it and get to be happy now. And I am. It doesn't even seem like it's only been 3 years, it feels like a lifetime. And a pretty great one at that, after I got over the depression and all

I just hate hate hate that I'm almost even going there and need to post about it. Blech.

Ok, I feel a little better I got that out. And I got some chocolate

P.S. I just want to point out, for those new to NB's, I know I'm being kinda whiney right now but I swear, it gets SO much better. True, I never really thought I'd be here whining about DDay 3 years after the fact, but I also never thought my life would be so fantastically awesome as it is now after D!

I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it

posts: 1140   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2010
id 6287320
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 1:12 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2013

Sorry you had a rough day tennispro, but glad it's not about the antiversary.

Get a good night's sleep and have a GREAT weekend.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6287521
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 1:15 AM on Saturday, April 6th, 2013

We are "classmates" in that we joined about the same time. My dday is coming up, but first my wedding anniversary is tomorrow.

I hear ya on both sides of the post. A bad day should not fall on such an unfortunate date like insult to injury. On the other hand, eh. Glad I can be pissy for it being just a bad MEMORY and not in the thick of all of it.

(((((huge hugs))))) and better days ahead!

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6287525
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torn2bits ( member #28376) posted at 2:46 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

Take yourself on a date. This is what I am going to do. Have a great, great weekend!

Me: 45/WH (SA): 49
M: 26 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce halted

posts: 1282   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6288602
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 12:09 PM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

My DD was 2 days before my 18th anniversary at work. 3 weeks after my first child's 4th birthday. Two weeks after I got my driving-by-myself licence.

It sucks that I have these reminders. It sucks that it is a significant date when he is so insignificant. It sucks that I will think of all of this shit on all the other dates that were significant in that relationship.

I prefer to look at the big picture than beat myself up over thinking about it. Its habit. The big picture is that he is insignificant - these few dates a year are the cloudy days in my otherwise bright, shiny year. I'm OK with that after the last 5 years of my M had zero sunshine.

((tennispro4)) Don't beat yourself up.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6288881
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