SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So after a few angry texts I sent xWS yesterday he finally admitted that he doesn't love me. He said he wanted to be so in love with me and make things work fir us and our two small children but as he was in love with OW how could he do that.

I wish he at least had the balls, well both of them, him and his lesbian OW, to have a non-fantasy relationship together. What on earth was the point of it all when all it did was break up a little family? Some people are seriously messed up.

On a positive note I know now that he hasn't been the right man for me since we became parents. I nurtured him too much and when I had to nurture my children he wasn't man enough for the job and went elsewhere. That about sums it up.

Lots of hugs to you..

Thanks butterfly girl. It's hard to accept but deep down I've known he's not loved me for some time. Why would he be so cruel to me, my son and daughter otherwise?

I found an old birthday card he gave me the other day whilst unpacking, in it he said how amazing, funny, intelligent and sexy I was and how he was so lucky to be with me and was looking forward to our future together. It's a pity that since I became a mother to his children he stopped thinking that. I guess he needed his ego rubbing elsewhere to make him feel like a man as I couldn't mother him anymore. I'm sure he now thinks all those things of the OW he is in love with.

Oh we'll what won't kill you will make you stronger!

I was really sad when I realized how much being a parent and having a family meant to me and he could just throw it all away like nothing.. I just want to scream at him, "DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO US???" But he's broken, and I can't fix him.

Please remember the affair has nothing to do with you. HE is broken, and you can't fix him. You are responsible for 50% of the marriage problems and 0% of the cheating. As in ZERO PERCENT.

Time to go NO CONTACT with this guy except kids and finances. Don't let him hurt you anymore. He doesn't deserve any of your feelings about the situation.

Honey, he is not capable of love. You can't love someone else when you loathe yourself. You can't cheat unless you loathe yourself.

He didn't cheat because you had kids, that's just when a bit of pressure was put on him and he reverted to a toxic coping mechanism that has existed in him way before your kids came into the picture, even way before you came into the picture.

Thanks for that StrongButBroken. I did day to him the other day how can he love anyone when he doesn't even love himself. He thought I was ridiculous! He is far too cowardly and afraid to look inside himself.

He thought I was ridiculous! He is far too cowardly and afraid to look inside himself.

You need to stop talking to him hun. Total NC/180. You'll twist yourself up into a pretzel trying to make him 'see' what he's doing - he knows what he's doing, he hasn't been invaded by aliens. He is choosing to do this of his own volition.

You need to choose you. Let him go. Turn your back on him. Put him in your rearview mirror.

Easier said than done I know - it all starts with NC. All of this contact will make you crazy and keep you in this deep pit of despair.

I've sent the angry/hurt emails and texts. I've had those exchanges. All it did was make him feel important. He is not important. Not one bit.

NC is your friend here hun. Please stop yourself. He deserves no more of your energy. Put that energy into you and your little family.

((dindy))

Thanks again StrongButBroken, you are right. He has been looking after our children during the week one evening whilst I work and I really don't want him here. It is not helping me heal. I'm now going to change that shift so that he will never have to be here. I've not even started hating him yet.

I am focusing on me and and my children. I have already done so much without him. Onwards and upwards! X