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but sometimes I want to commit homicide. Every time my kids come home wearing new Nikes, telling me about their Seaworld trip or their dinner out, talking about how they were at Daddy's softball game...I want to run his loser ass over. How about paying child support before all that ASSHOLE???? So glad you have time to play on a softball league while I was left behind to take care of your effing kids! I only WISH I had that kind of free time.

Yes, I'd love to file contempt for child support but I have to find the money for it first because I'M NOT GETTING CHILD SUPPORT!!!!

I'd LOVE to have a life of my own outside of raising kids, but I can't because I was tossed away so that he can live the party life.

Oh, and the 6 and 9 year old are just left to wander while Daddy plays softball.

I seriously fucking HATE him right now.

Check with child support enforcement in your state. In some states they will work with you to enforce the order, or they may be able to direct you to a free nonprofit in your area that may be able to help.

In my state if he is 15 days late, you simply go to the courthouse, fill out a form, they serve him and he has 15 days to catch up. Then there is a court hearing. Its free. Please call your county courthouse or go in.

CS enforcement does not cost you anything. Its a pain in the ass to fill out the paperwork, but once that done the state takes it from there. Stop allowing him to have this type of lifestyle while he does not support his kids. Kids cant eat new Nike's. KWIM ?

He is a piece of s**t, I agree, but you don't need any money to enforce the child support order. Like the others said, go down to child support enforcement. If you don't know where it is, call the courthouse or Department of family and children services, and ask them where to go. Their attorneys will handle it. They will put in an income deduction order to his employer. They will collect all the arrears he owes. If he is paid by someone else, they will get your money. Do not delay, take a copy of the court order for child support with you and go today. Bring the children's birth certificates and your ID with you. You might also bring a utility bill or something that shows your residence. I remember they required some of those things from me but I don't remember what.

The problem is, is that he got fired from his day job; the job where his primary income was from. He had a night bartending job and that is all he has left now. Most, if not all, of the income from this job comes from cash tips. So there are no wages to garnish. He will lie about how much he makes in tips as well. That is a given.

He ins't paying me because he isn't making much but he's not taking it seriously if he's buying luxuries while not paying CS, IMO.

Also, it was written in my decree that he pay me directly so I am not paid through the state. Up until he lost his job, I haven't had any issues with him not paying. I contacted my attorney and she said I would have to file contempt charges. I know I don't need an attorney to file contempt but because of his cash salary, I kind of feel like I should have one.

IDK.... Any suggestions?

First of all you have to document everything in a journal, as best as you can. Dates, things he does, things your kids say they've done, what he buys them, etc. This way you have some proof he has spending money and has the time to work whether it be bartending or Walmart. You know we've talked about this before, but you're not really putting your bitch boots on with him. A few texts to him about it isn't going to do it. He's doing nothing but taking further advantage of you. The longer you keep letting him slide, the further and longer it will go. And he now knows this. The decree means crap unless you enforce it. That's why it's there. I give my exWW no leniency on what she has to provide. And I demand it from her. Even down to her buying Claritan for his allergies and sending it over with him. Like your ex, she made this decision to cheat and D not me. Maybe your attorney can also place him on the hook for your attorney fees for taking him back to court. Also journal why he got fired. They will also probably want to know what jobs he's applied for...sounds like none to me.

As far as you...get out and do stuff. You will have to find a way to begin rebuilding your social life without thinking of his, so to speak. I've finally got past that mentally with exWW. I don't care what she's doing and it's very liberating. I hope she's getting all the humping she wants on her business trips. I hope she's getting used...again. You need to do the same when you don't have the kids. I play both hockey and softball (church league) to keep busy in the evenings. It does help. And the more you socialize the more you will get asked to socialize. Get over to the community center there and sign up! It's cheap and plenty of stuff to do!

Sean, I hear you. I do. And I really don't care wtf he does. It just pisses me right off that I was left with all the responsibility while he's playing college frat boy. I know it shouldn't, but it does. It is so difficult to find a life while I'm working 40 plus hours a week and I am without kids for only 8 days a month, during which time I have to take care of errands that I can't do with two kids in tow. (For example, grocery shopping is near impossible with them with me.) It is *really* hard because I have so little time. It's a double edged sword though because when I am alone, I am really *ALONE*. It's no fun.

You're right though. I don't have my bitch boots on. I don't think I own a pair. :( But I plan to go shopping for some soon.

I'll ask my attorney about him paying court fees although I doubt the courts will make him pay since he already has no money.

I've heard of several instances of this.

Several BSs sent the kids to live with the wayward full time and it wasn't long in either case before things improved that were not right.

In our state, they take away a persons license to drive until they pay the back support or what is determined to be due.

I've felt this same thing, so I dealt with it another way as well...DD's "too big drawer" was empty, so usually he'll ask me what she needs and now I don't ever say nothing. I ask for an "extra" grocery for school or pants or shoes-this way it's not frivolous and I can have half a say in what the money is spent on. And, the too big drawer is getting more full!

If there's groceries I don't like buying, I tell them to get that, or a store I don't like but they have such and such.

I've been angry before because the stayed parent tends to get all the hours filled with homework, routine and obligations and the WS seems to have the fun time. I think that's the same is Ruined saying, sorry.

FWIW, I hear several local BSs say the same.

Yes...I can imagine. Sometimes it's no fun with the kids and sometimes it's no fun without the kids.

Best advice I can say is on those weekend you know you don't have them is to try to plan. Try to plan social things for yourself in advance and stick to them. Make them your priority if you can. Think of it like exercise. But it;s more exercise for your brain in a way.