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Be strong. It sounds as if you're a believer. Consider this. Right now you're in a spiritual battle. You really think it's wise to go into battle alone? Don't worry about what *he* is going to do. If he ask for a continuance, so what? If he does, then your lawyer should seek a temporary order of custody until the issue can be resolved. His actions should not deter you from what you have to do in order to protect the precious fragile souls of your children.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am just waiting on him coming home right now.

(((scotslass)))

I hope you are able to find a L. And fuck what that policeman said about him supplying alchohol. Talk to a L about it...I bet you get a *very* different response.

And fuck what that policeman said about him supplying alchohol. Talk to a L about it...I bet you get a *very* different response.

Yes! I agree. What part of supplying alcohol to minors is ok?

So I had the conversation with my 18 year old tonight. I know I did the right thing but right now my heart is breaking. I have kept my ex spouse's sex addictions secret until now.

Please keep us in your prayers tonight. I love my son more than anything but I don't know how to help assimilate this knowledge.

What part of supplying alcohol to minors is ok?

Ok so I looked up Texas law from the TABC and here's the link

http://www.tabc.state.tx.us/laws/alcoholic_beverage_Code_referencing_minors.asp

You will not find any code that says a parent can give permission for another adult to give that parent's minor child alcohol. A minor can possess alcohol in the presense of "adult parent, guardian, or spouse, or other adult to whom the minor has been committed by a court".

All you have to do is have that parent [that said he saw distribution to minors other than his own children] be a witness and it sure seems like a case closed Class C misdemeanor for your xWH.

Just sayin' that I don't think the police officer wanted to do any paperwork that day.

Good job telling your son. Hopefully it will change something within him to see why you are doing what you are doing. He may not care right now because he gets to party, but what you're doing is not for the right now but for the long term future.

Same for your other two.

Keep your chin up and press forward.

[This message edited by la433 at 3:17 AM, May 9th (Thursday)]

Thanks la433 I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I do not have another adult that was present to show that he was giving alcohol to another child. My children are in marching band at their high school. It was another parent that reached out to me to tell me that her daughter (16 yrs old) was invited by my daughter to a party at her dads house. My 18 year old (still in school and in the band) told this girl that she should come to the party, there would be alcohol. When she said there was so way there could be alcohol as they were all too young to buy it, he then said that it Dad was getting it for them.

Thankfully, the other girl did not want to go as she knew there could be trouble. She did tell her mum as she said she's very worried about my daughter, they have known each other since they were in pre-school.

No problem. Everything you have mentioned so far needs to be provided to a lawyer so you can protect your children.

Even if it is circumstantial at this point, I feel you have to warrant some serious concerns. That daughter and parent should have no problem issuing an affadavit saying as much if it happened.

BTW, lawyer up yet?

Scotslass,

Your situation is heart-breaking, and unfortunately mine is similar. My X has alienated my children from me to some degree. I have a counselor who specializes in abuse and sex addiction (and others) so she is able to help me figure things out. I also go to Al-Anon meetings. It's a struggle to know what I can control and what I can't. Disney dads with no rules can sway teens. At this time in their lives, they are so very easily won over by the money and the lack of rules. It makes having boundaries and parenting very difficult!!

I am glad you are getting a tough attorney involved. I don't think that you have to tell your ex that you are doing this. What I have seen (in my little experience) is that you can just show up with the attorney.

How is your 18 year old doing now? I know with my X, he would deny what I said, and have a story ready about why I said what I said. He is very good at manipulating.

I'll be praying, too!

Thanks everyone

My 18 year old just seemed so sad when I discussed this with him. He didn't deny it but just looked awful. I asked him if there was anyone he could talk to about this and he said yes, one of his leaders at church. I encouraged him to talk to this person and told him that I would help in any way I can.

Got that lawyer yet? Please say yes, you're working on it....

I did place a call this morning to the lawyers office. Unfortunately, he is out of town until late tomorrow taking a deposition. His secretary is going to see if she can have him do a telephone consultation (hopefully, waiving the fee for this as I was referred by two of his clients).

I'm thinking I may ask the judge for a continuance in order to retain a lawyer.

My oldest son has prom this Saturday and he told me that instead on coming back to my house that he wanted to spend the night at his Dads - I have a suspicion there may be a party being organized.

Hugs during this difficult time. I have no experience in this thus no valid advice, but if I were you...I would ask for a continuance AND I would spy to see if there was a party, and if there was, call in a noise complaint.

scotslass

good work so far. hopefully, you'll be able to get that phone consult and maybe an appearance at court where he can help you get the time you need to get him up to speed.

yea, i'd scope out the place for underage folks and alcohol...if there's a after prom party, you can rest assured there will be both there and you X-loser-WH will be supplying it. if so, have the police or your local bureau alcohol tobacco and firearms office come out. that'd be fun to watch.

Thanks to all the prayers, fantastic advice and hugs. This is a nightmare!

Sending you huge hugs...hang in there!

What a night!

I went to my 14 year old son's band concert at school. When he got in the car he told me he did not want to come back to my house. I explained that he had to, he then told me that he needed to swing by his dad's to get some books for school the next day.

When we get to his Dad's, he stands in the garage and tells me that he is not coming back with me and I cannot make him. After a few mins of discussion on this I text my ex (no one is home at this time) and he texts back that he told my son to go with me and that I have not to step foot on his property!

Son refuses to come with me.

I give him 10 seconds to change his mind and warn him that I will call the police. 10 seconds later I am making the call!

After discussion with them (they were wonderful) he grudgingly gets in the van and off we go back to my house. The police did talk to him about running away during the night, that he would be arrested and that if his Dad kept him at his house then he would be arrested for harbouring a runaway.

I have one angry young 14 year old in his room right now.

Please someone tell me this get easier???

Wow. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

The spirit of rebellion is contagious, isn't it? Please stay strong.

I know it doesn't feel like it, but this is your time to truly shine and be the light of your family that has succombed to some very dark times and an evil spirit.

We're all with you and will be praying for you and children.

Thanks la433. During this altercation last night my 16 year old daughter arrived and chatted with the police and my 14 year old.

I did update the police on the situation with her and the upcoming court date. Even though my paperwork says that we have 50/50 and that she has been hiding out at her dads for nearly 5 weeks now they cannot make her come to me.

It broke my heart but she told me in front of the police that she will not be seeing me this coming Mothers' Day.

I thought a 16yo had to be emancipated to do whatever they wanted. I guess it depends on which state. Again, it sounds like police being lazy. It might take an actual order from a judge to the police to escort her from his house to yours. Not sure about it at this point. It is sure that she doesn't want to come home yet. She doesn't want to face the truth. Did you file a police report on her about whatever it is she stole?

I assume you didn't get a chance to be brutally honest with your daughter yet. You need to.

Also, you're not fighting for now. You're fighting for 5-10 years from now. Keep that in mind.

Hang in there.

[This message edited by la433 at 11:21 AM, May 10th (Friday)]