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Newest Member: Firechild83

Divorce/Separation :
Gotta hold my horses

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 SusanR (original poster member #29368) posted at 11:16 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2013

There are so many things i want to buy but i'm not sure if it's wise right now. I have an appt. with an attorney on Tuesday. i have some money and, if I don't spend it, I'm afraid I'll end up having to split it with my STBX or giving it to a lawyer for a divorce battle.

i have proof of adultery that i could use if necessary but I'd rather be able to just end this amicably.

posts: 1970   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6330127
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:07 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2013

How about purchasing gift cards?

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6331401
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LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 2:34 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2013

But even if it's in the form of gift cards, isn't still marital assets? I'd be afraid to spend anything in case your stbx tries to claim that you spent joint money on it and he's then entitled to half...

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

posts: 1650   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2011
id 6331439
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Jayne Doe ( member #32664) posted at 3:06 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2013

Be careful.

I don't know the laws in your state, but both of us had to submit 3 years of tax returns.

Arsehole bought himself a new 40k Mustang. My attorney is going after the fact that he used community property money to buy that car.

Talk to your attorney first. You could spend it and still be responsible for it.

Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

posts: 1457   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2011   ·   location: Suburbia, Arizona
id 6331485
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 3:28 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2013

If you live in a community property state it is considered marital assets regardless of who has the actual possession. If you spend it could backfire on you as he could claim you intentionally drained marital assets to avoid having to split it, and they could still make you liable for it (even if it is gone). If you are trying to make it amicable, see if your state allows for a pro se dissolution. That basically means you work together to arrive at your own agreement without all the legal BS and discovery that goes with it. That is what my POS and I are in the middle of doing and as long as you can work together civilly it is a good option. It also ends it sooner instead of dragging it out. Consult with an attorney to see what your options are, but wait on any spending until you do that.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 6331891
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