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LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 4:20 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
Ditto what Can Not Believe says. EXCELLENT advice. At least one of you has to act the adult. Looks like it's you ! Protect yourself, protect your children and do it with dignity. Hopefully, down the road, your WS will realize what an idiot he has been. If not, you & your kiddos will be in a better place than if you do not follow Can Not Believe's wisdom-filled advice.
D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)
BaldwinBeauty59 ( member #35507) posted at 4:42 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
Please read and reread the advice you have been given. It is worth all the gold in China. You can only come out ahead if you follow this sage advice. Best case scenario, your WH chooses you and your kiddos and you deal with this mess as a team. Worst case scenario, you D your WH but your children are financially protected. Win win or win lose (kinda). If the whore thinks that she won't have it on easy street and most of his money is going to support his first family, she might start looking for another means for money (aka another man). Your broke WH won't be nearly as attractive to her as he is now.
Me - BW (53)
Him - WH (56)
OW - skanky whore coworker
Married 33 years
DDay1 8/10/11
DDay2 8/15/11
DDay3 8/28/11
2 grown children
Status - in R
LiedtoLucy (original poster member #39246) posted at 1:26 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
Thank you so much everyone.. We have a MC session tomorrow and plan to discuss MY terms for NC until the baby (if there is one) is born. I made an appointment to meet with an attorney next week about CS and SS and we will NOT be discussing this at MC. You guys are wonderful!
LTL
Me: BS
Him: WH
OW=Single Coworker
OW had a baby. We do not know if my H is the father.
DDay: 4/23/13
Together: 16 years
Married: 12
Kids: 3 beautiful boys. Ages: 11, 6, 3
Limbo 2 + years after dday
sparklingwater ( member #38792) posted at 1:47 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
"He says he is only taking responsibility for his actions"
His 'responsibility' should be towards YOU, his WIFE, if he doesn't want to lose you and your little ones. His focus should not be on the OW at all, he needs to be NC with her until paternity testing.
Lucy, your experience seems like there is more to it than he is actually saying. He confesses to loving her but calls off the affair, only to find out she is preggers two weeks later, and then wants to be part of her pregnancy? Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too, with your blessing.
Good luck with your MC session. Glad you are being strong and going to be asserting YOUR NC terms.
Newly single and trying to find my feet.
There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
childofcheater ( member #33887) posted at 6:28 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
Just another person saying his priority should be you and your family. He had zero responsibility to OW even if she is pregnant. Until paternity is established his role is nothing. If she is pregnant and has to go through it with no support from your WH (as she should) then that is only a fitting consequence of messing around with someone who is not yours. So sorry! I really hope she is lying.
Stay strong and take all the advice above. He needs to cut her off no contact except through an attorney.
Me: 42 yo, him 41Married 19 years together 233 kids: DD15, DD12, DS9DDay 2/9/12 found suspicious text to coworkerStatus: in R, work in progress
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