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Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 9:12 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
"ok, after she gets out of the hospital, I will end it."
Um, that's a big NO. This needs to end now, OW is a big girl, she can take care of herself.
If you dont put your foot down now, then it will be "i cant do it now, she needs rehab', or "it was a tramatic event, i cant add to that"..
NO WAY!!
Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's
sullymeishadomi ( member #16305) posted at 9:14 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
Your dd is 2 yrs behind mine. He has been having a 4 yr lta with this skank...is this correct? Comparing your situation to mine this is my opinion:
He got into an accidenf with ho. There was no way to hide it. He had to fess up he was with her. If there was no accident, they wojld be enjoying many bike rides togefher.
You bailed his ass out. Which is what he expected. Youre nice and love him. Yum yum cake for him.
I dont believe thiz is the end. Hell, idiot boy made a nc call right in front of me thaf was a ruse for my benefit
Imo the only way this accident would end the affair is if one of them lost a limb
Who knows. He could suprise you.
luv_lost ( member #24621) posted at 9:41 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
wait...wait...
I may be reading this wrong but....your WH took his OW out on a date and crashed YOUR motorcycle?!?!
I'd be serving the D papers on that alone!!
(((chandler)))
BW (me) 31
WH 33
DS1 8 yrs.
DS2 1 yr.
Anniversary 6/09/04
DDay 6/27/09
Wedding 3/15/12
DDay2 5/5/13
presently working towards...well i don't know anymore...
realitybites ( member #6908) posted at 9:44 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
The next thing is she will want your insurance to cover her bills.....because it was on YOUR motorcycle.
Stop expecting loyalty from people who cannot even give you honesty.
He stopped being my husband the first time he cheated. It took me awhile to understand that I was no longer his wife.
redrock ( member #21538) posted at 9:47 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
((Chandler))
I am sorry that you had to do that.
I hope that you find a way to draw your line in the sand. It is hard. But you deserve better.
Sending hugs.
I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)
nolight ( member #32785) posted at 10:03 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
This is going to sound rather harsh I'm afraid, but you're being a doormat and enabling the affair. Karma may have tried to intervene but you sabotaged it by rescuing the day and making it all ok again.
I know it hurts and that you love him. Believe me I have been in your place he WILL NOT respect you or love you any more for it and more importantly this must be killing you poor thing.
The only one that will take care of you in all this is you, time to start doing that.
We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.
sullymeishadomi ( member #16305) posted at 11:24 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
cds22 ( member #39083) posted at 11:27 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
Count me in with the no-shows . . . or perhaps showing up to wave bye-bye or get in a solid kick if he was still on the ground!
I bring this up not to make you feel worse but to let you know that many of us feel that this is not your responsibility. Not within social norms. Just not.
Are you working with an IC or pastor/clergy?
momentintime ( member #16394) posted at 11:38 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
Nothing's changed here. You are still 3rd, and he is calling the shots. So nurse him back to health and accept he will be continuing the A.
BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd
"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl
Lucky ( member #6864) posted at 11:59 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
Karma? Where? 
♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥
TXwifemom ( member #37945) posted at 12:21 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
I would have told him to walk home. A little road rash, what a whiner.
He needs to volunteer to end it, not be forced. I'd GTFO.
No karma there,I agree. Karma would have been his wiener getting stuck in the motorcycle, and he has to go for emergency amputation.
Sorry, I'm hating on my WH today, so wrong time to comment, I guess......
libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 12:23 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
oooooo, girl that does not sound good. You can't let him keep doing that to you!
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 12:32 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
Chandler, how are you doing today? Hope you're OK. (((hugs)))
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 1:37 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
Chandler, not trying to pile on here, because it seems the consensus is pretty one sided. Is this the same OW that he was getting food stamps from? Wow, I don't know your situation and you've said it's complicated, but it seems he is taking advantage of it. Hopefully this won't make your finance situation even worse.
Married: 28 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
Jada52 ( member #38984) posted at 2:29 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
Um no I would not have gone to get him either and he damned sure would not have been on my motorcycle.
Silly Slut, husbands are for wives - get your own man B*tch!
Happydays ( member #38681) posted at 2:47 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
Alright herez something different.
IMO you did good by going and helping him out. After all that is what a good wife does.
After knowing he cheated, and still is, what you did speaks volumes of you as a person.
Now, it's upto him to see the difference.
I think he didn't see who came to bail him out. He should have said right there and then that he will end it with OW.
My best guess would be he will try to cut contact with OW after she stabilises, but, OW will not let him go.
You need to sit down with your H now and talk about what he wants after this, where does this relation go.
If he is continues A, he does not deserve you.
You have proven yourself as a care taking wife and being gentle about (not screaming etc..) should make him see the difference.
If possible go with him to see if she is doing fine. If that doesn't kill them with guilt then I don't think anything else will.
Try and see if you can kill evil with good, it does work, mostly.
BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.
krisdev ( member #22090) posted at 8:40 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013
I'm sorry but I would NOT have went and picked him up. I could give a damn about him not being able to afford an ER bill. Fuck that. Sorry, but I truly feel that HE made that mess and HE needs to clean that shit up.
He taught me so much, self worth.
Chandler (original poster member #23038) posted at 2:52 AM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I have to say that I feel ganged up on here...it was not my motercycle it was his I am sorry if I made it seem different....I love him and chose to get him because of that. ..no he did not volunteer to end it...this is a different OW we had 4 years of R which I guess was false. ... thank you happydayz for seeing my side I appreciate it and your advice
[This message edited by Chandler at 9:43 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]
ME:BS Him:WS
D-Day: Too many I lost count
OC born Jan 09
"If happy ever did exist, I would still be holding you like this, all those fairy tales are full of shit, one more fucking love song I'll be sick" -Maroon 5
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 3:54 AM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
There is no karma here.
He cheated on you-again.
You rescued him.
You gave him a pass on breaking it off with the OW.
You know in your heart that either he will not break it off or if he does, he will just find someone else.
Where's the karma? Sadly, all I see is a doormat.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
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