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Divorce/Separation :
why?

This Topic is Archived
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 PurpleRose (original poster member #33129) posted at 3:26 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

Why is he doing this?

Why is this my life?

Why couldn't he just be happy to get the divorce HE wanted, and leave me alone to figure out my new way?

Just why.

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6343040
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:30 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

(((((PR))))) No insight, honey. Just sending you love and support.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6343051
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 3:34 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

There is no explaining his behavior. He needs serious professional help.

Big hugs ❤❤❤

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6343059
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wontdefineme ( member #31421) posted at 3:34 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

Why do they do anything they do? They are f'd in the head. They are broken, even with the glue being a family was not good enough to fix their broken souls. There is No answer to their mess.

posts: 2328   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2011
id 6343060
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CheaterMagnet ( member #33581) posted at 3:51 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

As everyone else has said, they are just too broken to let go.

Lots of hugs and strength to you and your kids. Such a nightmare for you all.

If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

posts: 1968   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2011
id 6343082
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 4:14 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

There's no answer that you can understand because you are a decent person. He's not. You can't understand sick people.

((((HUGS)))

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6343115
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 4:38 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

You probably know this, but just as a reminder, NOTHING you did caused this. Have you seen what some betrayed spouses put their waywards through? They post pictures, post stuff online, have revenge affairs, they do plenty of fucked up stuff, and their waywards don't completely lose control and do what yours did. He's sick. Very sick. And he needs help. The kind you are not capable of giving him. Protect you and the babies and let the law deal with him.

More big hugs. (((((PurpleRose)))))

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6343138
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 4:41 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

I don't know, PR. I wish I did.

His brain is just that fucked up that he can't handle losing control.

I am so sorry.

Wish I could reach through the screen and give you and your kiddos hugs.

(((((((((((((PR and kiddos)))))))))))))

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6343140
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 5:15 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

My heart is going out to you ... it really is. On top of the betrayal, you and your children have to suffer even more due to his recent actions. Take the time to heal PR. Please be mindful that you and your children may go through ptsd. I am sending you love, peace, and support. Thank you for dropping in! I am thinking about you!

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6343157
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fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 6:02 AM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

(((PurpleRose)))

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

posts: 468   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2012
id 6343184
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 1:05 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

((PR)))

I don't post much on your threads b/c you're doing so well with all of this D crap. But right now, I just want to whisk you and your babies away and give you a break. You need one. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Why? Because he's a P/A asshole. Tha's why.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6343322
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 1:05 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

((PR)))

I don't post much on your threads b/c you're doing so well with all of this D crap. But right now, I just want to whisk you and your babies away and give you a break. You need one. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Why? Because he's a P/A asshole. Tha's why.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6343323
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 1:35 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

What everyone else said and more hugs for you. (((PR)))

You will never understand it - NEVER. Not what he's doing, has done OR how he hid his real self so well and for so damn long.

These betrayals beyond infidelity are in a lot of ways worse than the betrayals themselves.

Leave.Me.The.Fuck.Alone.

Get.On.With.Your.Fucking.Life.

YOU fucked yourself. You made your unicorn bed so YOU deal with the horns.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6343342
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IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 2:38 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

(((PurpleRose))) No answer to the why just know that we are here for you.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6343417
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:08 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

Thinking of you and your kids, PR. Hoping you all were able to get some sleep last night. Sending you continued strength and comfort. (((((PR & kids))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6343459
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Random thoughts ( member #2959) posted at 9:49 PM on Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

He has lost control and is using fear to reel you back in.

Just sttay focused on your kids and yourself, you may never get an answer as to why this is who he turned into.

Praying for you and the kiddos.

Those three words are said too much and not enough.Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.FWW

posts: 1684   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2003   ·   location: Some where in New Jersey
id 6344024
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 PurpleRose (original poster member #33129) posted at 3:17 AM on Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

Will it never end?

Why is he messing with my job? Yeah, nice try. No one believes your bullshit. Stay away psycho. You are now known as a WIFE BEATER AND CHILD ABUSER!!!!

Why is he screwing with my children? Like they even give a SHIT that he wants to talk to them?? I know he can hear this: they DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU!! YOU HAVE TERRORIZED THEM!!! THEY WITNESSED YOU HURTING THEIR MOTHER!!!! THEY ARE AFRAID OF YOU AND YOUR WHACK BEHAVIOR!!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE TO PROCESS WHAT AND WHO YOU HAVE BECOME!!!!

I sure hope he is proud of himself. He has systematically hurt and pushed away each of the people who truly loved him - his wife and children. Wow. Way to go. Are you winning yet??

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6344466
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:25 AM on Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

Is he violating the order by messing with your job and trying to contact the kids? If so, you absolutely have to report it. If in doubt, report it.

Cheese house. It sounds like he's in full-on meltdown. And if he is, you have to triple down on your safety, honey, because that's when things get exponentially more dangerous.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6344477
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 PurpleRose (original poster member #33129) posted at 3:31 AM on Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

NIK, already on that.

Still needed to vent it out.

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6344484
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:44 AM on Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

Of course you're already on it. And vent away. We're all so very worried about you and your kids, PR. Hang in there. We're all right beside you.

(((((((hugs))))))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6344494
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