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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 7:39 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013
We are not idiots, even though we may feel that way sometimes. We are choosing to stay with someone that doesn't love us the way we loved them that is for sure. I know WH#2 doesn't really have a clue to what love really is. He thinks it's that way you feel during the honeymoon stage of a relationship. When everything they do is great and wonderful. He thinks this is the way it is always supposed to be in a marriage. That is why the A had the pull it did on him in the beginning. Once reality started to sink in and OW wanted more, then he started to panic. Where was all the glitter farting unicorns now?? Why was the OW demanding he tell me about them?? Why was OW upset at him now?? After all she knew he was married and this would be complicated. Why is the OW yelling at him all the time?? Hell, his wife never ever yells at him!! Hey where has all the luvvvve and rainbows gone after only a few years??
I guess after all of that, I don't even want him to fight for me now. It really doesn't matter anymore. The time he should have fought was when she first approached him. If he really loved me, I feel that is when he should have fought for us. Instead he threw me away like I meant nothing to him for a skanky old gf that he didn't want in the first place. I guess either I learn to live with the fact that he doesn't love me like I deserve to be loved or I walk away. Neither one is what I want as my option, but it is my reality now. We aren't idiots. We just were in love with a fairytale that turned into our worst nightmare. I so want my fairytale marriage back. I so want to feel special again. I want him to love me the way I love him. It just isn't gong to happen and that is what I am having to come to terms with. He will never be able to make me feel special again no matter what he does.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
hopefulmother (original poster member #38790) posted at 12:07 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
The time he should have fought was when she first approached him. If he really loved me, I feel that is when he should have fought for us. Instead he threw me away like I meant nothing to him for a skanky old gf that he didn't want in the first place. I guess either I learn to live with the fact that he doesn't love me like I deserve to be loved or I walk away. Neither one is what I want as my option, but it is my reality now. We aren't idiots. We just were in love with a fairytale that turned into our worst nightmare. I so want my fairytale marriage back. I so want to feel special again. I want him to love me the way I love him. It just isn't gong to happen and that is what I am having to come to terms with. He will never be able to make me feel special again no matter what he does.
Exactly TrustGone.
And all for a bit of fun with someone who wasn't worth it. Well she was sure as hell worth it to him back then. How the hell am I supposed to get over that?
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
brokensunflower ( member #38674) posted at 12:12 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
exactly how I feel you hit it right on the tip of the nail for me ... I just wish my H would get it through his head 
me 34
him 34
7 wonderful kids 14 yrs 10 yrs 7 yrs 6 yrs and 4 yrs 2yr ..and new baby
married 15years together for 12
my give a damn is busted
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