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Is it just me or does it seem as if society is more accepting of affairs or am I just more sensitive to this issue. It seems like most of the things on tv are about affairs or have someone having an affair in it. I am not sure if it is just me or is it all of a sudden on tv more? It really makes me angry to think that society no only makes it acceptable but makes it the cool thing to do. Just had to vent!!!

Yes it's advertised everywhere its sad . Sucks we have to live it ! If they ever invent a time machine I'm gonna save all my dollars .

I think it is more accepted now days because so many folks cheat, both men and women. For some it is a way of life, always cheating.

To me it is wrong, just plain wrong! If you are married you do not venture outside your marriage and if you are the OW/OM you do not have an affair with someone who is married. Total lack of self respect IMO. It is everywhere now days.

[This message edited by Jada52 at 5:57 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)]

I have been noticing it a lot more too. It's like I have no shows I can watch without having a trigger.

What timing your post is for me!

I just left the room where h is watching tv. A single woman trying to seduce a married man.

I am so angry right now I want to scream and smash things!

I agree infidelity seems to be everywhere and taken so lightly in the media.

It is never shown in reality, never is the true devastation and pain portrayed in an honest and real way.

I do believe that I am much more aware and sensitive to it than before. You don't understand the depth of the pain until you experience this kind of betrayal.

Songs, movies, tv, it is everywhere, a trigger waiting to happen.

I notice it everywhere now that it happened to me.

I guess it just goes to show how often it happens to people. But, I cannot believe people go through this, my aunts, my uncles, omg, I had NO IDEA as a kid exactly what it meant. When I first read infidelity being compared to the loss of a loved one, I almost passed out. As, I lost a very close cousin when I was a teenager and recall that pain vividly. It's crazy how we survive.

I am and have been angry for the past few days. Seeing that show that is coming out soon about Mistress' really bothers me. I feel the same way

To me it is wrong, just plain wrong! If you are married you do not venture outside your marriage and if you are the OW/OM you do not have an affair with someone who is married. Total lack of self respect IMO. It is everywhere now days.

It just seems that there are no morals or self respect at all!I respect myself more and feel that if I was ever unhappy then I would walk away before I hurt someone else. IMHO! I have lost a few family members to include my mother and brother but this is by far the hardest thing that I have ever gone through and continue to deal with. I am glad that I am not the only one to notice this more. Thank you all for your support!

I notice it in everything now. TV shows, movies, songs, billboards, I mean everywhere. I know that this is not new, and that I am simply more sensitive to it now, but yeah the way it is romanticized and glorified makes me sick.

Honestly, I think it's always been acceptable, but it's usually been taboo to discuss. In Victorian days, the men AND women commonly had AP's, and their BS that they went out in public with. In the 1900's, it wasn't uncommon for the same, often times with the slaves or other help, and it just wasn't discussed in polite company. Even going back to biblical times, totally common. Egyptian rule, totally happened all the time. Today, it's totally common (statistically speaking) for a married person to have an AP, it's just more acceptable to talk about it and justify it and blame it on others now.

Great topic.

My 2 cents.

Society still feels, well mostly, that As are because of failed Ms, one of the spouses is bad in bed or behavior wise, and all the things involved in a general re written marital history.

A few know about broken individuals, sociopaths, NPD, BPD etc. outside the circle of councillors or people who have researched the roots of a typical A happening to themselves.

Couple that with things seen on TV, movies, magazines etc. and voila we have a perfect recepie for A justification.

That said, people generally frown at people's A and find it disgusting except the ones who have fallen into As hurting their spouses and never introspected or gone for councilling.

IMO just like children are taught how to cross roads, be polite, truthful, they should also be taught that extramarital As are bad.

But also I see more and more people feel that the WS has a reason for A and in their circumstances it was ok to have the A. Blame the re written history presented or the classic actors WS become in front of their friends and families.

Also laws aren't strong enough to save families from the torture of As.

They are seen as mature individuals taking a decision for their happiness.

Society does not shun people figures involved in As just for the kicks w/o any valid reason. Like someone posted on SI the case of Tiger Woods.

The next tournament he was in, everyone was clapping away to his putting skills.

That said, adultery is prevailing from time immemorial even in the times of God sent people and there is no sure shot way of uprooting this evil with a formula.

It makes me angry sometimes. I was reading a really good book, I loved the main character. She was smart funny, loved her son, was single mother, Everything that made her just a great character. Halfway through the book her love interest is introduced.

He is handsome, kind, always willing to help, and guess what. Married, then the author spends the rest of the chapter telling us why that is okay though. I just left the book in the break room.

Try the following and see if your perspective changes:

1. Stop watching trash TV (or at least the latest drama shows)

2. Stop following pop culture (celebrity affairs always make big news and it seems to go with their lifestyle)

3. Stop reading romance novels (most portray an unrealistic view of things)

Look at how many people are struggling here on SI. That tells you what you need to know about societies acceptance of affairs.

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 9:30 AM, May 24th (Friday)]

..simply said, no matter what happens in our lives, affairs, car accidents, deaths of loved ones, tornados that obliterate our homes, floods, diseases..

'LIFE GOES ON'.. we adjust, we cope somehow to try to make sense and order out of the mayhem..

..we cry, scream, fall apart.. then somehow we move on.. sad, sorry, forever changed by life's events..

..we must accept that things change, people change.

..we've all heard..'make the best of a bad situation'..

it's all we really can do..unless we GIVE UP on living and end it all..

..the ultimate and final solution to dealing with the disappointments that life throws our way.

..look at Tiger Woods now..

..all the shit that happened to his life not SO long ago..

..he's now right back on top, with his new, beautiful squeeze at his side..

..just how crappy do you think he's feeling lately???

..he's probably got more fans now than he ever had..and the press doesn't keep reminding him of his affairs, ..it's old news and they don't care..

..each of us must reach acceptance of our life's tragedies.. do we have any choice? Move on..or die! that's the choice we have..period!

If i've learned anything from all i've read here and the horrible things we see everyday on the news, is "SHIT HAPPENS" all the time. get used to it.

..you can be the greatest person, living your life in the best way possible.. and still, shit will happen to you.

..bfOM's LTA with my FWW over a period of 18 years must have been very exciting and fun for them both.. but then the SHIT happened..

..i found out, and then he had to face his consequences and then he got the news of his brain tumor and it was incurable and he took a year to die, slowly and painfully, while his parents, wife, brother and 2 sons watched..

..he had no choice but 'acceptance' of his fate!

I accept the reality of the betrayal and i accept the outcome for him, her and me.

SHIT HAPPENS.. it certainly does!

smy

[This message edited by somanyyears at 10:08 AM, May 24th (Friday)]

I don't know if anyone here watches The Americans but I think they did a good job handling infidelity. You can see the WH's wife trying to hit this constantly moving target to keep her husband happy and it makes him look like the broken one. The WH has a major KISA complex and the OW realizes this and works it to her advantage. I wish more shows gave a realistic view of infidelity instead of framing it so the audience roots against the BS.

What about "American Horror Story"? One of Season 1's primary plots revolved around an A ... something Heart and I had both forgotten when we sat down (shortly after D-Day) to re-watch the series.

Still, we got through it. Still Hollywood, but at least they use the psychology and damage aspects to fuel the horror in the show.

Exactly where in society today does anyone see the positive effects of morality? Doing the right thing almost always is portrayed as weakness and or too boring. After all, what thrill can you get by watching a family sit down at the dinner tale and enjoying a family meal? People demand that the dinner plate be thrown at the WW/WH and controversy erupts. AKA Jerry Springer, Dr. Phil. I throw Dr. Phil in because without the portrayal of the broken person/family, what would the show be about?

What is really sad is that Hollywood continues to throw the shock/gore movies out at a rate of about 50-1 vs family oriented films. I don't understand because if memory serves, Those PG rated films outraise the gore films by a considerable margin.

Anyway, long way around a very short answer. Sex sells. It's as simple as that.

Oh no, I see this too. When an affair occurs then it should be understood, sympathy should be given to the cheater because afterall, there is something that led them to cheat and they are hurting too

Then you have the cheating crowd, and those that help them cheat, from what I've witnessed at another site, that will give the tired old responses of "It isn't black and white", "the BS shares responsibility for their spouses decision to cheat", "It just happened", or my personal favorite, "we are all human".

The latter is an attempt to downplay the cheater's behavior. Because afterall, if we are all human, then it could happen to us non-cheaters too. Sorry, it just ain't so. But they'll tell themselves that to think it could happen to anyone and mitigate the damage to their character.

I am an old fashioned prude. I knew nothing about A's, prostitutes, junk pics, shaved VJ's, disgusting porn before my WH infidelity. But I know now and it sickens me. I think technology has opened up a whole new era.