SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am in yet another different stage of this mess, but 6 months in some aspects are getting easier. I go through a lot of different emotions, which I know is normal, but some of them now stick and are positive.

I was watching Dr.Phil this morning and he was talking about taking your power back.

I have known this the whole time, which is where a lot of my anger comes from. I get angry that what HE did has practically destroyed me. I realize now that it is wrong for me to give my power away to him and his actions.

We can only be hurt by what others do if we allow ourselves to be hurt and part of my anger is I know I am so much more and better than what he did.

I am trying to make my M work and in order to do that and save my own sanity, I have to let go of my resentment, anger and some of the pain.

WS is doing all he can to fix himself and make this marriage work and if I want my M to work, I need to stop being the victim and be the survivor I know I am.

All of this is so much easier said than done, but life is short and none of us have any guarantees of our spouses being faithful even if we hadn't been cheated on.

If our WS are remorseful, doing all they can and want to fix this mess they made, then we owe it to ourselves to heal, become survivors and take it one day at a time.

Stop letting what THEY did to us make us feel less than what we know we are! Anyway, thanks for letting me share this and I hope everyone can find some peace in this mess none of asked for. Life is short and we all need to make the most of what we have.

I hear the confusion in your post of wanting your power back but not knowing how to do that and it makes you angry. But I also hear a lot of strength and determination in your voice.

I am 4 mo out and going through the same thing. I'm trying to get my power back by focusing on me. I have no computer skills, so I took a computer class. I have no job so I'm flying to another part of the state to get my certification to help find a job. I'm afraid to drive, so I am learning how to get lost and trust my GPS. I've never paid a bill or looked at finances. I'm learning that now. All of this makes me feel powerful, like I will be able to make it on my own if I so choose.

I am also choosing to R and it is hard for me, everyday is a struggle to not think about it. I will never trust him again (at least that is how I feel now), but for me that is not a bad thing. I'm just not naive like I use to be.

I don't have any words of wisdom here, just struggling along day by day, but there are some day's that calm overtakes me and life feels ok, and from reading here, it seems that time is on my side. It is just damn hard to wait.