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copingdaily (original poster member #34713) posted at 6:43 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
My WH and I havent been able to have luch during our work days for about a month now due to his work schedule. He primarily eats at the office or takes a thirty minute break and eats at a surrounding fast food place. I occassionally go eat with a coworker(female). He has a problem with it. He dosent want me eating luch or going walking with my friends because he dosent do it so neither should I. This upsets me, we hang with his friends every weekend, yes I am there but none the less HIS friends. I get so upset I throw every bad thing (except the affair) suprisingly at his face, all the lunches he had with female coworkers he lied about all the partying he did and lied about. ALL OF IT yet he still dosent get it and accuses me of not changing and throwing the past in his face. UUGGGGHHHH
Treat others as you want to be treated
Conflicted1 ( member #39019) posted at 8:27 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Abuser 101 tactic is to isolate. That's a red flag to me not necessarily related to wayward behavior. He should want you to have healthy friendships and support network.
Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.
copingdaily (original poster member #34713) posted at 8:37 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
When he was able to have guys bbq on most Sunday afternoons he didnt care if I walked with friends or the lunch thing. Its been about two months that his friends wife hasnt let it happen anymore, the guys will come by the house but no more" guy time" without me there. So now he acts like if he cant have "friends time" neither can I. Selfish, Ahole!
Treat others as you want to be treated
PinkJeepLady ( member #37575) posted at 8:39 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Yeah, please know you have the right to have friends, anyone of your choosing. It's not ok for him to be controlling like that.
Having friends in this situation has saved the little bit of sanity I have left.
Take care of yourself!
Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled - thought so, but now divorcing
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:41 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Abuser 101 tactic is to isolate. That's a red flag to me not necessarily related to wayward behavior. He should want you to have healthy friendships and support network.
Yep ^ This
My WH is trying some control tactics on me too. Not gonna budge. I got myself back up with the 180 and surrounded myself with wonderful friends who were there for me through my ordeal.
The WS usually is the one to lose the privileges. At least that's how it works in my book.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
doggiemom12 ( member #36041) posted at 11:01 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Tell him to take a hike. You have a right to your friends. He is the asshole here, not you.
Don't ever let him tell you what you can or cannot do. Very abusive.
White bird must fly or she will die . . .
wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 12:26 AM on Friday, May 31st, 2013
Please remember which forum you're in. If this turns into a vent thread we will be forced to move it to General.
FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live
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