Just wanted to thank you guys for your kindness, encouragement, and gentle 2x4s. The situation resolved itself, I think. A few weeks ago we had a fight, I told him how I was feeling, in the end he said that he wouldn't see the one girl, and he hasn't been resentful, and neither have I. He said something that seems like he might be getting it - we'd been having a conversation about other girls approaching him, and in the end he said, "No, I won't go out with other girls to lunch - isn't that a date?" It was really nice to hear that come from him. Either way, not worrying too much about that now. I have work on myself to do.
With or without H, we do need to move. One of my obstacles is a long-term hoarding problem I have, and that's what I'm working on right now. It has felt like going down the psychological rabbit hole. Making progress. Another thing is external validation. I was looking for it too much. Time to listen to my own compass. Time to stop making to-do lists and goals that are for the aim of pleasing, appeasing, or impressing other people. That's the other big thing to work through right now to get to a healthier place internally. And lastly, I have some physical and mental health issues we're working on. Got a referral to a clinic finally where they might be able to help with a long-term headache issue I've been having.
Anyway, just wanted to say thank you. PPGA, thank you for your kind words, it helps to have strong mamas to look up to. UO, you are absolutely right. We need to be extra careful with the precious people in our lives and cherish them - even though I know you meant that about my situation with H, I am inspired by your message to be extra careful with my son and be the healthy mama he deserves. 
Sad in AZ, I am so thankful for the metaphor of one brick at a time. It doesn't have to be done overnight. One goal a day can be a good start, and I will get away safely. And hopefully Lil Silver and I will see you again if we ever get to visit Texas. Aesir, 
your Facebook image cracked me up, so true, and I think of it anytime I log on Facebook now. Oh, and picture one of my cats offering a paw bump back. 
TIKY, you were right. I let him know in the fight, without the exact words, that the consequence of his behavior was causing me pain. He changed. You inspired me to speak up. I feel badly for not having left yet. But I want you to know I am staying safe and keeping my boundaries strong. I am getting support from my IC/caseworker, from family friends, and soon from an organization that specifically helps parents (the Talkline). I am going to make it. TrustGone, you're right, we must never allow people to disrespect us. We teach people how to treat us, and even if walking away is painful, sometimes it's necessary.
Sorry if this is jumbled, instead of "drunk dialing" it's "toddler typing" ykwim. Anyway, I really needed to thank you guys. I needed to say that I heard you and you helped me. I'll never take any of you for granted. Take care, and stay safe!
