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purplejacket4 posted 4/16/2013 16:14 PM

Young lady came in last week with breast pain. She also complained of masses. She had recently gotten off the depoprovera shot that keeps you from getting pregnant by making your body think it is menopausal. She'd been on it for four years and was now coming in at age 20 with these complaints.

Me: (doing the breast exam) Hmmm, what exactly are you feeling as masses?
Patient: (grabs both breasts) Right here! I've never had these before!
Me: Um, those ARE your breasts.
Patient: Oh!

Pt's boyfriend across the room does a palm face plant.

authenticnow posted 4/16/2013 16:17 PM

jrc1963 posted 4/16/2013 16:22 PM

Wait?!?! What?????


Clarrissa posted 4/16/2013 17:02 PM

Wait a minute. She's *20 years old* and had no clue she could/would develop breasts??? I never thought some one that age could be that clueless. What's her name? Carrie White?

[This message edited by Clarrissa at 5:02 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)]

nowiknow23 posted 4/16/2013 17:31 PM

Lyonesse posted 4/16/2013 18:46 PM

So THAT'S what those two strange growths on my chest are...thanks, purplejacket! You have saved me a bundle in doctor's visits!

authenticnow posted 4/16/2013 19:10 PM

Unagie posted 4/16/2013 22:28 PM

Does anyone else feel confused as to how someone could actually be that dense? My head is hurting trying to wrap my mind around it...

[This message edited by Unagie at 10:29 PM, April 16th (Tuesday)]

purplejacket4 posted 4/16/2013 23:58 PM

Poor little muffin didn't realize getting off the shot would allow the rest of her normal breast development to finsh. I got to announce: congratulations! You are now a C cup!

The boyfriend was JAZZED!

TrulyReconciled posted 4/17/2013 09:51 AM

Reminds me of an old joke about the face lift knob ...

aesir posted 4/17/2013 10:00 AM

I hope you put her back on the depoprovera shot, for the sake of humanity. Scary to think that now she might be able to reproduce.

Undefinabl3 posted 4/17/2013 13:50 PM

TrulyReconciled posted 4/17/2013 14:12 PM

I hope you put her back on the depoprovera shot, for the sake of humanity. Scary to think that now she might be able to reproduce.

Then she would likely suffer from mammary loss ...

BrokenRoad posted 4/17/2013 19:58 PM

(holding her head) Ohhhh!

TrulyReconciled posted 4/18/2013 10:12 AM


ajsmom posted 4/18/2013 10:18 AM

Can't wait for the follow-up as you deliver the baby she didn't know she was pregnant with.


A mind is a terrible thing to waste.


purplejacket4 posted 4/18/2013 16:58 PM

You guys laugh but that is common enough that we jokingly call it "the movable mass." One of my doctors came to me with a and said he had a patient with a left upper quadrant mass and THEN it became a RIGHT upper quadrant mass. I finally went in and put a doptone on her abdomen. Once the thumpa thumpa thumpa was heard I said do you know what that is??? That's your baby! She delivered the next week!

918Mama posted 4/22/2013 00:16 AM


Having birthed two babies myself, I cannot for the life of me understand how women can go through an entire pregnancy and NOT know.

There's no way. I just don't get it! I mean, it's either a baby or an alien. Either way, something is moving in there!!!

5454real posted 4/22/2013 00:20 AM

I dunno, could be gas!

Face Palm.

918Mama posted 4/22/2013 00:36 AM

Gas. Must be it! Lol

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