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sitting in church this morning I look

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stunnedin12 posted 6/30/2013 15:33 PM

at my wh and feel nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

I feel like I should be further along. Rage? Sad? A glimmer of hope? A bit of happy? Content?

I can't even work up a bit of mis-trust even though I don't trust him one bit.

He looks at me and smiles. He is trying. Honest, I think he is. (After the stupid of April 27th). I just feel nothing.

SO - I don't want to divorce him as of this very instant, (that could change in an hour with my emotions). But, I want to feel something.

Skan posted 6/30/2013 15:56 PM

It sounds like you are on that lethal plain of flatness. It's a grey place, with featureless formations and just so blah. No colors, no interest, just unending grey that rolls on and on and on.

This place comes and goes. Sometimes it sticks around for months, sad to say. I think that it's your mind and body banding together to shield you from further hurt the same function as shock helping to shield you from grievous bodily injury. It sort of allows your mind and body to process things deeply. When you're ready, you'll start feeling again. (((hugs)))

SoVerySadNow posted 6/30/2013 16:11 PM

I agree with Skan. Flat- amazingly flat nothingness. It was so strange when it hit me. It was very sudden. It was almost like taking a break from the extreme emotions that I had been feeling. Maybe the numbness is what we need at the time?

brkn_heartd posted 6/30/2013 19:44 PM

I am just leaving my plane of flatness. It is very difficult to get through, but I believe I would have had it if I stayed or left.

Jospehine85 posted 6/30/2013 19:47 PM

I disagree. I think she has detached. She has an unremorseful WH.

Now is the time to go see a lawyer and know what your rights are and what you can expect for child custody and support and spousal support.

Once you know what to expect if you D, it will make it less scary IF that is what you choose.

aesir posted 7/1/2013 03:45 AM

Now is the time to go see a lawyer and know what your rights are and what you can expect for child custody and support and spousal support.
Well past that time, it should be one of the first things someone does, so that they can start making informed choices from the beginning.

I do however think this sounds like the plain of lethal flatness. Just like on a rollercoaster, there are transition points where you don't feel anything because nothing really happens. It is especially common right at the end as the coaster is coming in to a stop so you can finally get off.

stunnedin12 posted 7/1/2013 09:46 AM

I am wondering on the lethal flatness.... I guess I didn't figure it would come and go. (or in my case it isn't going at the moment).

Detached --- Now that Josephine mentions that.

If it is being detached, I don't like it. Do I want to "fake it til I make it"? Or is this it?

I guess there is no real rush. It sort of feels like I have his b*lls in a sling and he's trying. But is that any way to be married, really?

chickies birthday is tomorrow. I hope wh has an absolutely miserable day remembering.

stunnedin12 posted 7/1/2013 09:47 AM

And did I just have a light bulb moment? Am I so blah because it is chickie's birthday tomorrow?

Am I so blah because last year at this time I thought we were doing the big happy family/couple thing when in reality we weren't?

Seriously - this just bites.

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