Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Duped12times (45727)

User Topic: My dad died.
ladyvorkosigan
♀ 8283
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 2:51 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's the last parent I had.

I need advice. I need it so bad I don't known what advice I need, even.


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
timeforchange
♀ 27454
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 3:32 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry to hear of your huge loss.

I don't know what advice to offer.....

Grief is a path and journey. A long hard one. You can only take it one step at a time.

Hugs to you tonight .....


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
aesir
♂ 17210
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:51 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think there really is any advice possible, at least none that is helpful.

ETA: After some time to think on this, I still have no advice. I find that even 15 years later, the loss of my father is still painful, and I wouldn't change that. Every painful thought reminds me of what I was fortunate to have in the first place.

[This message edited by aesir at 7:45 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Tearsoflove
♀ 8271
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 4:41 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So very sorry for your loss.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4261 | Registered: Sep 2005
painpaingoaway
♀ 27196
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 4:57 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry Lady V.

Even though I had my own family, and my sibs, when both Mom and Dad were gone, I felt so alone in the world.

Do you have siblings? Or are you an only child?

We are here for you.

((((Lady V))))


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7135 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:24 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I'm so so sorry! ((((HUGS))))

Do you have people who can come to you IRL and walk with you through this?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10017 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
JanetS
♀ 2766
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 5:45 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry to hear that. I've lost both of my parents too, I have a brother and that helps. Do you have a sibling? This is a time when you can bond with them if you are not close. In my case that is what happened.

Lean on friends....esp. if you have friends who knew your Dad.

I understand that "lost" feeling. I believe he is watching over you...and he's with your mother now.

Time will make it easier. You will always miss him.


Posts: 2639 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:57 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have no advice, just hugs (((((LadyV))))).


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38662 | Registered: Sep 2007
hurting2much
♀ 25643
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 6:01 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ladyV))). I am so sorry


Divorced

Posts: 1109 | Registered: Sep 2009
cass
♀ 24261
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Do you have other family members/close friends who can help you through this very difficult time?

(((ladyV)))


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4970 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ 17062
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LadyV, I’m so sorry. My Dad died just before Christmas 2011 and my Mum died the day after her birthday on 22nd May this year, 9wks ago. My Godmother died 3wks ago and the funeral was Thursday just gone. It was the shock of my Mum dying.

I think one of the hardest things (apart from having to deal with all the personal effects) is not being able to just pick up the phone and give them a call. My Dad was full of sound, sage advice and my Mum able to give me help with why my jam won’t set.

I feel for you. It’s a very sad time. You don’t need advice, you need someone to give you lots of hugs and understanding. Wrap yourself in the love your Dad had for you and know the memories will always be there. Hugs.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3475 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Too_Trusting
♀ 99
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 6:27 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh ladyv,

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my father in 1998, and my mother this year on Mother's Day. Losing your last parent is quite unsettling. It's like I don't know how to "be" without a parent.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Huge hugs.


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2491 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Holly-Isis
♀ 13447
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((LadyV))))

I'm so sorry for your loss.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11275 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One step at a time. My Dad died 6 years ago and it still takes my breath away.


(((ladyvorkosigan)))


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4220 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
whyohwhyohwhy
♀ 17890
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry for your loss.


what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced


Posts: 1044 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
gahurts
♂ 33699
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((Lady V)))))))

Sorry for your loss


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3469 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big hugs

(((LadyV)))

I have no advice. Just compassion.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ladyV...

I'm so sorry, I completely understand...I lost both my parents too..

I'm too young to go through the rest of my life not hearing their voices

I need advice. I need it so bad I don't known what advice I need, even.

It's especially hard when exciting things (good or bad) are happening in my life...I don't have either of them to pick up the phone and tell. So, I make sure to 'talk' to them on a daily basis. I keep their memories very much alive in my heart and mind. It also helps that MH loved my mother very much (my dad died in '82) so he has wonderful memories and stories of her as well.

Again, I'm really sorry for your loss.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198816 | Registered: May 2002
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry for your loss LadyV


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52993 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
MrsDoubtfire
♀ 24786
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( ladyv)))

I cannot offer advice as I've only lost one parent so don't know what it feels like to lose both.

All I can say (from personal grief when I lost my dad ) is to cry and don't bottle your emotions up and find someone with big shoulders who can just hug you and be a strong presence for you -both now and in the future.

I am so sorry that you have to grieve for someone once more.
(((Huge hugs)))


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

Posts: 1588 | Registered: Jul 2009
Topic Posts: 69
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.