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What if it feels like he's finally getting it...but I don't feel any different? Over the past few days he's been sharing things without beating it out of him, asking me how I felt about things we talked about, and seeming like he cares. Thing is that I'm not feeling different...what now?

OMG...this is my worst fear. In fact, I think it is where I am at this time. (Although my husband has not had the turn around to want to deal with things.)

I try to stay unconnected to decrease the pain - and it works. But what do I have? Even less of a relationship.

I have wondered if you feel no differently after they 'finally' start to do the work, "Will it come in time?"

My guess is that for some it will and for some it won't.

Either way, it is an odd situation to be in, right???

I seem to recall not feeling any immediate change when I saw those signs. Turns out that stage did not last for her, but for some it does. The key to having those feelings change is consistent behavior over time. A few days really isn't enough time for you to have faith in those signs and feel safe in allowing your feelings to change.